"I don't need a lecture"
BM currently pays child support and is required to get it to SO by the first of every month via check. It can't be taken directly from her wages because she's "self employed" (no one really knows what she does...but I have my suspicions) and her wages don't come in the form of a check from her employer. She owes about $15,000 in back support. Both SO and BM had significant financial troubles after the divorce and even though SO had SS7 80% of the time, BM decided she didn't have to pay the court ordered monthly support payment. Last year, SO and BM went to a mediator to work out a new parenting plan (her idea, not his) and now they share 50/50 custody. But there was that pesky issue of not having paid CS for the past 4 years... SO very kindly agreed to lower the amount of support he would receive per month AND that she would only owe him about a THIRD of what she really owes and then re-evaluate income levels, etc. (Ps, we are not giving that woman a DIME in support, so if she's looking for that once her payments are up, she's got another thing coming.) In their agreement, however, it states that if she is late on a payment, she will owe the ENTIRE amount of back support.
Anyway, her payment was late this month. By Saturday, March 7, SO gave in and emailed her. By last night around 6pm, there was still no reply. SO texted her asking if she got the email and what her plans were to get the payment to him. Her reply:
"I've had it for days. I put it in SS7's backpack for tomorrow." (Monday is our switch day. BM takes SS to school, we pick him up and our time begins.)
EXCUSE ME?? You think it's a good idea to 1.) involve your child in CS transactions and 2.) send a SEVEN YEAR OLD to school with a check for $400?? I mean, he's a good kid but are you STUPID?
SO calmly texted her back "This is not SS7's responsibility. Come to my office after you drop him off and give it to me." Her reply, "Fine, whatever you say." Oh the passive aggressive BM...what would we do without them? He didn't take the bait and just replied "Thank you."
This morning she dropped off the check:
SO: "This is the second time you've been late. It's due the first of every month and it's not my responsibility to remind you."
BM: "I don't need a lecture. I know you like telling me what to do. I've been sick."
SO: "You're too sick to text me or email me that you are going to be late?"
BM: "I don't need a lecture."
SO: "This isn't SS7's responsibility."
BM: "I know. You know, I only have three more payments. I won't be late."
Deflect, deflect, make and excuse, deflect...and then there it is...the slight realization of the fuck up and the potential repercussions. BM doesn't have $15,000 to give to SO. The woman can't even make her rent payment every month (I know this because I checked the state court records and she's had "Failure to Pay Rent" court dates every month since October.) It's not worth it to go after her because it just means us spending more money on a lawyer with no guarantee of anything in return. But damn it if it isn't fun to see her squirm.