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Pray that BM finds a job...

lieutenant_dad's picture

We are one month into BM being unemployed, and I am getting nervous about how this is going to pan out.

DH is already having to pick up and drop off the kids. With school starting next month, I'm assuming we'll be buying ALL their clothes, supplies, etc. If BM manages to keep her apartment, all the CS will be going to keeping a roof over their head and keeping the lights on.

I am standing firm on "we give BM NO MONEY". The kids can live with us (not that it is my ideal, but I'm not interested in supplementing BM's income).

She is starting to cycle in her moods, which makes sense as I'm sure she is depressed about being unemployed. However, it's starting to bleed over. She decided on Father's Day that the best time to visit her dad's grave was at 7:00 pm when we needed to drop kids off. She then got snippy with DH over text when he offered to drop the kids off at the cemetery so they could visit, too. DH just rolled his eyes. At drop off, she hemmed and hawed about being broke and fighting with her XH, and DH just said bye and left. THEN SHE CALLED HIM to actually talk about the kid stuff she needed to talk to him about (mostly summer program stuff for OSS and figuring out time for DH to have the kids over the next month), but took FOREVER to talk about it.

This is what she does when she gets depressed and lonely - draws everything out, feels the need to inform DH about every little thing, and lay on the "woe is me" act. It wouldn't be such a big deal if this weren't just a precursor to stuff falling apart.

So, please, pray BM gets a job that ACTUALLY pays her well enough that she can live somewhat comfortably so DH and I don't sink all our paychecks into paying for EVERYTHING for the kids AND so they don't have to move in with us.

Comments

notsobad's picture

Ugggg, I hate it when BMs life affects ours so much!

My skids are adults, SD(29) & SS(26). BM not being in a relationship and being financially insecure means that she leans on the skids too much. They are her emotional support system and lord knows she needs support! 

When her life is crap, she makes the skids life crap, they are stressed and upset and that boils over to our relationship with them. I know it shouldn’t, but the reality is that it does.

I just hope she finds a man and sells her damn house!

Siemprematahari's picture

People like her its doesn't matter what is going on in their life they will always be miserable and its sad that she puts her kids through it and it spills over to you guys. These adult children have learned to react the same way and its unfortunate. I hope they learn different coping/managing skills and to see and react in a more positive light. I hope you and H can be that example for them.

I also pray she finds a job that keeps her very busy and content so that you won't have to hear anything about her.

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Prayers coming Lt_dad!

Though definitley a good call on them moving in. Obviously I'm okay with having the girls full time, lol. But money going out the door to BM's stuff hurts a lot worse than money going to benefit just the girls!