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Bm gave him custody

libbie's picture

Nothing is official yet. Dh called this morning to say bm wanted to make a deal. She will allow sd to stay with dh but dh has to meet half way for summer, spring break, fall break and winter break for pick up and drop offs. She will pay child support but it will be minimal since she is a stay at home mom. Dh is responsible for medical and dental expenses and all extra circular activities. If sd stops taking her allergy meds or wants to move with bm then dh has to allow it. He said no to that part. I am waiting to hear the outcome.

Comments

uofarkchick's picture

Completely agree. What mother would just give up her child and only see her four times a year? Something smells fishy here.

BethAnne's picture

My sd's BM agreed to something similar. She knew she couldn't cope with sd on her own and knew our household would be a more stole environment for sd, even if she didn't really want to admit it.

libbie's picture

Sd is already on dhs insurance and has always been. She has never been on her step dads insurance.

BethAnne's picture

Welcome to reality. Many fathers will agree to an unfair financial burden because they know that in court their chances of winning custody are a lot less than the mother. My husband pays for everything, sd lives with us 9months of the year. BM still comes begging for extras.

ItsGrowingOld's picture

I have a friend who paid $50K to try and get full custody of his two daughters. He ended up with 45% shared time. He also had to pay $4200 per month in child support as a stipulation of that 45%. And here's the real insult, he made $150,000 per year and his ex wife made $850,000 per year and HE was court ordered to pay her!

When it comes to family law, everything is negotiable. Those that tell you otherwise do not fully understand "the system."

This is how my friend views what happened, he had to buy his children. I don't disagree with his point of view.

ItsGrowingOld's picture

Yep, she was a willing seller and he was a willing buyer.

I feel bad for your DH. The system is basically rotten to the core. Sad

ItsGrowingOld's picture

To my understanding, it was the price tag for the entire divorce, including custody. The bill was much higher but my friend was able to negotiate it down because his attorney was also his friend and couldn't stand his ex! Thank God for friends!

The divorce was several years ago. In my state it can be reviewed every two years. It has since been dropped to $1500 I think. His ex moved out of the country with the girls due to a job promotion (his girls didn't want to go but mommy promised them the sun, the stars and the moon and they caved). She now makes over $1,000,000/yr and her housing is paid for by the company. The oldest is now bulimic and the youngest goes along to get along and covers for her sister. It's really sad. And tragic.

WalkOnBy's picture

how on earth did that state calculator come out with $4200 from a 150K per year job?

Hell, Asshat makes minimum 3 million a year and had 50-50 and I didn't get $4200 per month. Close, but not $4200.

libbie's picture

It was supposed to start at 10. Dh called me at 9 saying bm was offering this and I haven't heard back and his phone is off!! I'm a nervous wreck right now.

libbie's picture

Dh is trying to prevent only having 4 visits a year. Bm is the one trying to move with a no move clause in the CO.

libbie's picture

Dh was having visitation at his parents because sd wouldn't take the allergy meds and she is allergic to my sons dog. Sd realized she would have to move if she didn't take the meds so she did. Bms husband is military and was relocated. They have 3 kids.

uofarkchick's picture

In my case, joint custody would not work. My ex beat me and is in prison. He gets no visitation and would have to take me to court if he ever wanted it. The less he has to do with the kids, the better.

uofarkchick's picture

Thanks, hon. I'm sure he will be busy with meth and his meth head girlfriend when he gets out so I doubt he'll ever try to get visitation.

libbie's picture

I have no idea what is happening! Dh isn't answering his phone, it goes straight to voicemail. I'm so nervous I am picking at my lips!!

libbie's picture

Gotcha. Well even if you don't believe me any chance you will say a quick prayer for me anyway? Just in case.

Tuff Noogies's picture

speaking of jewish - does anyone know if there's an update on the forum post regarding the sd saying something like 'it's CHRISTmas dinner, nothing jewish'?

WalkOnBy's picture

So, I am hosting my dad and stepmom, my family and my brother, sister-in-law and niece for our Christmas day on the 23rd. Guess what I am serving??

BRISKET, BABY!!!!!

WalkOnBy's picture

Why is a child allowed to decide whether or not she will take medication? Kid needs an allergy pill at dad's, hand it to her and tell her to take it???

WalkOnBy's picture

My kids are 21 - if I told them to take a damn pill, they totally would.

Of course, they aren't speshul snowflakes, sooooooo.