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I am Invisible!

LauraKR's picture

I have recently discovered that my husband of 3 months has decided it is best not to discuss me, our recent wedding or any subject that might acknowledge my existence in front of his 2 daughters. My mother in law apparently does the same and avidly hides any pictures of me or us together. I am not angry about this as i find it really bizarre (and somewhat hilarious) I have no actual relationship with my husbands 2 daughters and haven't had for some years(they are 22 & 24) so I have no room to complain about any of this really. But does anyone think this is bloody odd behaviour?! I just wonder who they think it helps. Before anyone has a go at my hubby, he is a lovely bloke and a super husband but I suspect somewhat daft!

Comments

LauraKR's picture

It takes non confrontation to a new level!
Think he's being a bit of an ostrich actually, bless him, not very brave.

Aeron's picture

I find this quite odd myself. My DH had a massive aversion to talking to SD about our wedding at first, which wouldn't have really struck me as weird since she was quite vocal about loathing me, except that she desperately wanted to be IN the wedding. After one meal where I brought up an appointment or something and I was waved off the topic, I asked him what the problem was. He didn't want to upset the poor sensitive darling. Okie... did she still want to be in the wedding? Yes, of course. And yet I'm not supposed to talk about it in front of her? Oh. Well, maybe that's not the best approach.... Yea, gee hon, ya think?

Guilty, manipulated, emotionally blackmailed fathers often do things I find very very strange. This is apparently just another on the list...

LauraKR's picture

I feel like doing something to stir it up but don't want any backlash for my husband.
8 years of hell from these 2 brats have made me like this, not good i know.
Kx

LauraKR's picture

I must admit I am now at the stage where I probably don't care any more.
Awful thing to admit but its what the years of crap have done to me.
We had a "Road to Damascus" moment earlier this year which finally crystallised the future for us all.
They tried to stop us getting married in July and because of their actions and behaviour my husband and I split with them to preserve our sanity (and health)
I will not see them again now (no loss to me)
If he wants a relationship with them then he has my blessing as long as they never involve me.
I have encouraged him to see them at least once a fortnight. I think they will blame me if he cuts all ties with them and they are his daughters after all.

Having said all of that, we did actually get married in July and we are very happy now so why pretend it never happened.

LauraKR's picture

Of course you are perfectly right.
I have more than 90% so I can't complain.
We have no pictures up of them either. Why would I want to look at people who hate me in our own home.
To be fair to my mother in law and hubby, they know that the daughters are dreadful brats and so I never hear very much that's good about them. My god even his ex wife complains about them so they must be bad! They were brought up without boundaries and unfortunately everyone around them pays the price for that now and I mean everyone.
Just amazed that so many other people in the world have similar problems. It is a comfort but its also very sad.
Thank you for taking the time to comment, I really appreciate it.
Kx

LauraKR's picture

Its very chilling when you think about this for too long, isn't it.
I can't help but ask myself how I would have behaved towards my father in like circumstances.
I know you can never say definitively how you would react in someone else's position but I do know this: I loved my dad and I wanted him to be happy - so why don't they want that for their dad?

The selfishness of your husbands daughters and mine is utterly appalling.
Trouble is I never feel I can criticise their up brining (that's where the trouble lies) because I have no children of my own (only by beloved spaniel)
It sounds to me like you have made a bad situation become tolerable for you all.
It's the daughters who miss out in the end.
Thanks again for your comments, very kind.
Kxx