Relationships between BM & inlaws - help
Ok guys,
This probably comes off as such a petty and childish concern, but from all you other Stepmoms I'd really like some advice.
My inlaws and I don't get along - MIL and 2xSILs in particular. It has alot to do with the walls I threw up years ago to get some privacy from their constant input, helicopter parenting and passive-aggresive put downs in my life. I was pretty severe and quick tempered when it came to creating some much needed distance between us.
That being said - they all continue to have a relationship with BM. It's so dumb and I'm not trying to be immature about it, but on social media if I post pics of SS7 they don't bother to comment or anything. But I can see them commenting on all of BM's pics (BM and I are NOT friends.) I guess at the end of the day I feel like it's hard enough to be a SM but when I get zero recognition for what I am trying to do - it hurts to see them continue to build a relationship with BM.
I also know they all have a right to have a relationship as SS7 is their family. But.... I guess it just hurts and I wonder if any of you are experiencing this at all? At times I feel they do it to intentionally be cruel to me.
I've tried explaining to them why I built boundaries (I felt attacked) and even apologized for how I reacted. I'm not trying to make enemies with anyone.
DH tells me I'm being sensitive and childish. And to a point I guess I am. But I'm also not made of stone and my inlaws have done nothing to try and accept me. Advice?
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Comments
I definitely think that's the
I definitely think that's the part that hurts the most. I wish he was behind me more too. Instead he tends to act like I'm the cause of the conflict and I'm getting what I "deserve".
I've done my best to try to move on from what happened but I guess it won't change.
I think you have to focus on
I think you have to focus on what you can control. You can't control who your ILs are friends with. You can't control who they talk with. They may be friendly to BM if she's the CP, so they can see the SKs as much as possible.
I did experience this a bit with my MIL. My sds are her only grandkids. BM was the CP for awhile. It didn't bug me or DH, but mil was discreet about it.
As long as your DH shows you support and appreciation, that's what really matters.
LOL - amen. Giving this one a
LOL - amen. Giving this one a go.
I have the same issues with
I have the same issues with my inlaws except they became friends with BM after DH divorced her. He has two sisters and I have met one. She awkwardly ignored me if DH wasnt within ear shot and shortly after became friends with BM (the one they all hated for 11 years).
I think it comes down to the fact that you tried to make your peace with them and now it is their turn. Leave it at that. They do not define you or your marriage. So don't let them.