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SOOOO LIVID AT SD11, I'M STILL SHAKING!!!

lac925's picture

So we had the skids over for the week (since Monday night), and DH scheduled a playdate for our BS8 and his friends today (his friends are still at our house as I type). Now, knowing how SD11 is, I was a bit apprehensive as she likes to cause drama with other kids and whatnot and she's always seeking attention.

Anyway, his friends come over and at first, things are fine. Of course, she followed them pretty much everywhere they went, but nothing major was happening. Everyone was having fun. THEN, the shit hits the fan. DH, who had been working all day since 5am, was napping at the time since everything seemed fine. (I'm mentioning this because I was kind of reamed out before for being the one who had to deal with the skids by myself, and USUALLY, things are fine.)

I was upstairs in the kitchen, where I can look down into the TV room where the kids were, and I saw SD11 doing something to BS8's ear which made him fall off the couch. I called for him, but he didn't come upstairs and I heard SD11 saying something like "Oh be quiet, you're fine"...I was about to go down there when BS8 comes up crying, saying that she had hurt one of his friends and that she had hurt HIM. So THEN I went down there and asked her to go upstairs. She just sat on her stupid fat ass, saying "I didn't do anything"...So why were these two kids crying??? I even asked her brother what happened, and he said that she had grabbed BS8's friend's arm and pulled on it (he had a scab on his arm and I guess she rubbed on it). So again, "SD11, go upstairs. There's no need for you to be down here with these 8-yr-olds". Still sits on her dumb ass, denying anything while these two kids (who NEVER cried before when they were together) are bawling. Finally, she gets up and storms out, saying "I'm telling my dad to take me home, and I'm never coming back again!"

I went to wake DH up to deal with her, otherwise, I would have had her by her badly bleach-dyed hair! I told him what happened and before he could go downstairs to deal with her, she comes up the stairs, CRYING (!!!!!???????!!!!!!) and shoves her cellphone at him. Of course, at the first sign of trouble (that she gets herself into) she calls Mommy! Needless to say, DH went to take them home, but not before a few exchange of words over what happened. Let's just say I gave her a piece of my mind and she told me to "Shutup" and (the best part) she called ME a "Brat" (after she threw a tantrum at Walmart last night over a bag of candy!!!)...I KNOW I shouldn't have said anything (so please, don't tell me that I should've kept my mouth shut. This is my CHILD, so I damn well AM going to say something!), but she just doesn't get it - you do NOT hurt people for no reason and then act like the VICTIM! I even had a talk with her earlier about right and wrong decisions...but all she wanted to talk about was her "new puppy", so I should have sensed where that was going! I was so embarrassed for BS8's friends and apologized to them for what happened...

I just can't believe what happened, even though deep down, I had a feeling she would start something. I don't know what possessed her to reach out and hurt these two kids - BS8's friend is the sweetest kid and so well-mannered...To see him crying because of SD11 is just heartbreaking! I'm still shaken. SS13 had his week cut short because of her and we were going to watch the American fireworks tomorrow night Sad

I just hope BM grounds her or something - this isn't just acting up or not listening, this is HARMING A CHILD...TWO CHILDREN! Totally unacceptable! All night last night, DH was telling her to be on her best behaviour because these aren't the same kinds of kids she usually hangs out with: 1) they're only 8, 2) they don't cause drama or fights with each other (she's been known to start a few fights herself)...

I guess we know better for next time. I doubt she'll want to come over for awhile, which suits me just fine. Our food won't be wasted, we won't have to stop any fights, we won't have to listen to her vulgarity, and her clothes won't be all over the floor! Her mother can deal with the train wreck she gave birth to!

*Her new thing (for not wanting to be here anymore) is "I always get put down". Um, HOW do we put her down? We feed her whenever she wants, we take her places fun (the beach, then Canada Day fireworkds, and we were planning on watching the American fireworks tomorrow), we buy her things (DH let her have a bag of candy the day before)...yet, she always gets herself into trouble - the other day, she wouldn't stop bugging BS8 and she (once again) called her mom on me for asking her to put headphones on when she wanted to listen to vulgar music on Youtube (for which her mom actually sided with me!)...So I guess her getting into trouble equates "putting her down"...She's just like her mother, always playing the victim when she brings it on herself. People (us included) need to stop spoiling her...but then, we would be "putting her down", right??? WE'RE the bad guys??? SMFH

Comments

lac925's picture

"Also, why the hell does she have dyed hair at that age?"

LOL She's been dyeing her hair since she was, what, 8? I guess "white trash" is the IN look nowadays! She last had it a dark something-or-other (couldn't even tell you what colour it was!), then she had it "bleached" back to blonde...but it's the fake-looking YELLOW blonde :/ It's hideous, and you can see the roots, too!

lac925's picture

*UPDATE: BM told DH to bring the skids home, and SD11 is grounded for 2 weeks, which probably means she has no phone (again!)...

They both agree that SD11 has gotten out of hand and they need to be stronger in disciplining her. SD11 IS a bully - just found out that she called BS8 an "a$$hole" for telling on her! - and she's got major issues. I'm not one bit scared of BM and I was ready to take the phone to tell her the REAL version of what happened! Nor am I scared of an 11-yr-old who outweighs me by at least 10 lbs. She's a CHILD and she's got a lot of growing up to do!

When SD11 calls her mom on me, DH is 100% behind me. Fortunately, the last few times SD11 has called her on me, BM has been on MY side! She gets the same crap from her, as well.

I like the idea of no cellphone at our house - the last thing BM wants is to be bothered on her "nights off"!

In a sense, YES she should have stayed and taken her consequences...but why should she partake in the fun summer festivities that we had planned? And why should the rest of the kids lose out because of her temper tantrum? At least BM can deal with her and she took away phone privileges (we'll see!)...and honestly, I didn't want to have her wreaking havoc in MY house for the rest of the week!

BM can deal with her! We did take away fun treats for her, and she would have just made us all miserable!

Maxwell09's picture

Well you should have atleast kept your Stepson. He shouldn't have to pay for her mistakes. He deserved to watch the fireworks too so he shouldn't of had to go home early. Really though she shouldn't have been sent home, her dad needs to learn how to deal with her without needing BM to back him up or take care of it. Yall should have just sent her to a babysitters so yall could take the rest of the deserving kids to the firework show

oneoffour's picture

Logic is your friend.
"Stop crying. You pushed around younger kids. You behaved like a bully. You go to your room and cannot come out until I say so. Go. Now"

lac925's picture

That was the first thing I did when I heard what she did, but she just sat on her stupid fat ass, denying everything. And I can't lift her up to physically put her in her room as she outweighs me by like 10 lbs!

lac925's picture

Yes, I agree with keeping SS. I wanted to, as did DH...but they're kind of a "package deal" - we've tried taking one without the other and they were crying "favortism" SMH

That day, she hadn't taken her meds so her need to be the centre of attention was even worse :/

Bex_S's picture

Sounds exactly like my skid. Behaves like a complete piece of shit, then denies it, plays the victim role and claims it's everyone else's fault