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Don't know whether to laugh or cry...Rant over SS11

lac925's picture

Well, we barely survived another weekend with the skids, and I gotta tell ya, it was a doozy! Just when you think it couldn't get any worse, it does!

On Saturday, the kids are all out in the backyard playing. It was kind of damp, so the dirt is kind of wet. What does SS11 decide to do? Dig a 5-ft hole and stick the pool ladder in it! :jawdrop: We were livid! And in the process of filling it back up (not very successfully), the kids all decided to jump around in the dirt! Needless to say, they were not allowed to play outside for the rest of the weekend. DH called SS11 in and made him take a shower. When he was done, DH went to check the bathroom...and he found the towel on the rack bone dry, yet the towel that we had on the floor (to catch any drops of pee that BS6 may let fall) was WET! DH asked SS11 which towel he used to dry himself off, and he said "The one on the floor!" :sick: :sick: :sick: I mean COME ON! You're fricken 11-yrs-old and you can't tell which towel you should use??? He basically dried himself off with PEE! DH made him take ANOTHER shower. I just couldn't wrap my head around it. I knew SS11 was slow, but THAT slow??? I went from disgusted to hysterical giggles back to disgusted. My 15-month-old won't eat anything that has fallen on the floor (he'll pick it up and give it to us to throw away), and an 11-yr-old doesn't know which towel to use! SMH And to top it all off, I went to the bathroom after SS11, and found pee all around the back of the seat :sick: I'm just...speechless at the level of laziness/stupidity that this kid displays. I don't know what it is. BM would tell you that it's because he's ADHD, but that's just BS - she always uses it as an excuse for him. One time, DH told her that he should be reading by now; her response was "But he's only 11"! :jawdrop: :jawdrop: If that's the way she wants to play it, then good luck to her!

THEN on Sunday morning, DH woke up and SD9 told him that SS11 "broke" the TV - he was messing with the remote. So DH chastised him about breaking things that weren't his, and what does SS11 do? He punches his sister in the leg (maybe because she told on him or whatever) right in front of DH! DH immediately sent him to his room for time out and tried to fix the TV. Luckily all we had to do was reboot/reset the satellite receiver box. When DH called SS11 up for lunch, he asked him if he knew why he was in time out and SS11 said he didn't know!

I just don't know what we should do with SS11 anymore. He seems to get worse and worse every time. We hear about BM punishing him at home for acting up (in fact, he was grounded when DH went to pick the kids up; in which case, I don't think she should've allowed him to come over because we didn't know he was grounded, and we let him do regular things here - so that defeats the purpose of his punishment), it doesn't seem to work. Whenever WE try to discipline, it gets thrown back in our faces as "abuse" or "being mean". BM's got a completely different (re: stupid) set of rules at her house than we do at ours, so it's hard to discipline - esp since our BS6 is quite impressionable and he's been displaying some of SS11's same behaviours...

Does anyone have this same problem (BM's rules are different than your own) and how do you come to a middle ground where the discipline actually WORKS for everyone???

Comments

oneoffour's picture

He does it because he gets away with it. His percieved 'slowness' is his excuse for anything he does.

I disagree about him not coming over if he was grounded though. BM should have told you guys so you could continue the grounding and not be left in the dark. This is DHs son and he should be seeing his son as much as he can.

That being said DH should tell SS11 "Repeat after me, I am in timeout for punching my sister. I will not punch my sister again." As for the hole... didn't ANYONE come and tell you before it got 5' deep? I bet they were all having a grand old time in the mud! So they all get lines to write... I will not play in the mud (10 lines per their age) And SS11 gets to write "I will not dig holes in the backyard."... 110 times.

As for being told you are 'mean' or 'abusive'... those words can only hurt you if you let them. I would tell BM "Whatever! Your/Our son needs reigning in and being taught to behave like a normal person instead of running for the position of village idiot." Seriously, whatever she thinks about you should not matter one bit. I know BM thinks I am a terrible mother but do I care? Pffftt!

lac925's picture

" BM should have told you guys so you could continue the grounding and not be left in the dark."

- I agree. But most of the time, BM could care less as long we get the kids off her hands!

"didn't ANYONE come and tell you before it got 5' deep?"

- Yes, SD9 told us about it when she went to see what they were doing outside, but by then it was too late. We've realized too late that SS11 cannot go unsupervised for anything (as you read above) - I trust BS6 more than I trust SS11. DH and I need to make sure that, in the future, we can see what SS11 is doing at all times.

"Whatever! Your/Our son needs reigning in and being taught to behave like a normal person instead of running for the position of village idiot."

- LOL He's getting to be a good candidate! Honestly, though, I could care less what she thinks. We have more dirt on her than she thinks she has on us. She's the one who's in it up to her eyeballs that DH and I look like the Cleavers!