SD14 possibly moving in with BM
DH has primary custody, skids go to BM's every other weekend Thursday evening to Monday morning. Well at least SD16 and SD14 do, SS17 has a job in our town so he only goes to BM's every other Thursday night and is back Friday.
SD14 followed SD16's footsteps to apply for, and get accepted to a specialized high school in our district. It's a challenging program that when completed leaves them with their high school diploma as well as an associates degree, with literally ZERO cost.
SD14 is a freshman and has been in school for 14 weeks now but has been asking us for over a month to drop out and go to the regular high school with SS17. Obviously me, DH, and BM want her to stay in this specialized high school because it does so much more for her, but everyone is trying to figure out what's best. I think DH is just at the point now of letting her go to the regular high school.
BM has stated that she does not want SD14 to go to the high school in our town (it's not a very highly rated school), and if she does drop out of the specialized high school BM wants SD14 to move in with her and go to the high school in her town because it's a well rated school.
While I can't argue that BM's town HS is better than our town HS, but I don't know that having SD16 and SD14 living in seperate houses is a good idea. SD16 and SD14 are literally best friends, SD14 actually sleeps on the floor in SD16's bedroom every weekend still. A move to BM's house would mean they would barely see each other. We don't expect momumental things from SD14, so I don't see a real need for her to make such a big life change for a better school that probably won't get her any place better than she could get at our town HS.
Also, when BM and DH split, BM moved an hour away. Their custody was supposed to be 50/50 but she wasn't able to manage the skids schedule living that far away which is why it is what it is now. DH made it a point that BM knew her moving that far away was her choice and he was not going to be helping with driving simply because she wanted to live an hour away. So far BM does all the driving, picks the kids up Thursday after school from our house, and drops them back at school Monday mornings.
The only reason I mention that is to say that if DH wanted to have a normal every other weekend schedule with SD14 if she moved in with BM, I'm sure he'd have to do the driving. DH actually already stated that he wouldn't be doing that, and he'd probably only see her every once in a while. He even said that he would shut her cell phone off and BM would have to be responsible for it then, since we've been carrying that load for all 3 skids.
I'm just wondering what peoples thoughts are on splitting up siblings who are super close. I just don't think it's a good solution...If you've read some of my recent blogs you know SD14 recently started counseling because she's been unahppy (also hence the want to drop out of the specialized high school) so not only would she be losing her best friend, but she'd also be losing her current counselor...not to mention one of the reasons SD14 states she wants to go to the regular high school is because she has closer friends there. So if she moved she'd be starting completely over, not knowing anyone, and she's already super awkward and shy.
ETA: I'm really just wondering if it seems reasonable, assuming SD14 drops out of the specialized high school, for her to move in with BM simply for a higher rated HS, when I don't think it's going to have any impact on the trajectory of her life. It doesn't seem to make sense to me to leave everything she has in our town behind just for a higher rated HS...