I think my marriage is at it's end
Surprisingly this isn't really step related, however I don't really know who to talk to right now so I'm posting here.
DH and I only really have one recurring issue/argument and that is related to bedroom activities. Without getting too specific he has a way high drive and I have pretty average drive. Our issues are beyond a simple mismatch of drive tho...even content desires are vastly different. Anyways, I feel like I've finally come to the realization that I cannot make him happy, and he can't make me happy unless one of us makes ourselves unhappy trying to please the other. I'm willing to try counseling, but I just logistically don't see how that's going to change anything. The basic issue is we simply have different desires/needs and are no longer able to fulfill those for each other.
I haven't specifically talked to DH about divorce but I just feel like it's inevitable at this point. I just want to be able to end things in an amicable way so that we can co parent peacefully. I don't want him to have hatred towards me the way he does towards BM.
I guess I'm here just to say it and put it out into the universe so I can start moving forward, but also I'm looking for advice on where to go from here, how to prepare and take steps...do I just blurt it out and tell him what I'm thinking, or should I prepare things first as far as money/ plans on where to go etc?
I know I need to start going to a counselor, because of the topic of issue I don't really feel comfortable talking to friends/ family about our issues so I don't really have an outlet. I need to go to a counselor for myself, and as a last ditch effort with DH. I am totally willing to work and try to fix my relationship with DH, I honestly just don't think it's possible, not because I'm angry and don't love him anymore, but because what we want is just so different I don't see a compromise.
I'm just sick of being on edge, stressed out, and unhappy. I feel on edge anytime DH tries to make the moves, because I'm anxious that he'll ask me to get in line with his desires and I honestly just don't like myself when I do. So my options are to just do it to make DH happy, but then I end up hating myself a little bit, or to say no and deal with a frustrated pissy DH that feels like I don't care about him. This isn't normal right? My marriage shouldn't have to be a choice between making myself happy or making my husband happy on a daily basis right? Sometimes I just feel a bit crazy...
Thanks for reading