You are here

Hmmmmm Kevin The Mad (long and last)

Kevin The Man's picture

Hello Everyone,
Lets first start by saying I post and I post and I give you all the heartfelt truth because your advice wasn't going to help if I didn't start off with honesty and with ONE rebuttal I am a stalker and an a**hole?? Sleeping, sleeping is why I got quiet, sleeping. I work nights remember?
Lets first start in early July, I believe that is when I first started posting here to get advice from you women as to how I could fix my current situation. Again, I never had any reason to skew a side because:
1. I have never met any of you and although your opinions helped, they were just that.
2. I wasn't going to get anywhere unless I was 100% honest with you all about the situation and my feelings.

Yes, I wasn't willing to give up because I loved my SO and her boys and the dog and wanted to be with them all for the rest of my life. I absolutely did my very best and although stern, I was never controlling and or abusive.Would YOU give up on the man you loved??

I have been sitting outside in the middle of the circle ever since I moved in and on clear nights I enjoy star gazing. I have done this EVERY night since I moved here and guess what?? I sit there when I get off of work at 2,3, and 4AM. My SO is a teacher and I can tell you that she NEVER even knew I was out there nightly until I TOLD her. Sitting out there was MY downtime and had NOTHING to do with her. It was a way for me to unwind from a long hard night of work and yeah, smoke a cigarette and have a beer as the heavens unfolded before my eyes. As I stated before, misconstrued lies that I would have fought in court had it not been for blackmail. Lets look at other claims shall we??
The cars in question that I was 'lurking' between belonged to MY room mates and were parked in MY driveway. When she first laid eyes on me I was in that SAME spot my first day moving in.I do not smoke inside and yes, there were several mornings that I was outside as my SO ran by. I never approached her and went on about my business. Also, I text, I text a lot. Anyone that knows me knows that armed with a BBerry I can rattle off 15 texts in just as many minutes and before my SO encountered the ice age, 50 or 60 texts in a day was not unheard of.
I admit I was a bit verbally harsh to a neighbor but when my SO decided to 'air our laundry' so to speak and I start to get outside opinions from both them and hear them reverberated through my SO's words I tend to get miffed as I am sure you ALL would. Telling a neighbor to STFU is normal.
There was a time when I rapped on the door to ask her to talk to me but I was NOT drunk as my SO would have you to believe and I was NEVER dragged away by neighbors. That is simply a lie, more misconstrued facts and bitter ramblings to paint me in a negative light. I DO find it very interesting that I have not posted here for quite some time as I do not see myself as a step-anything anymore, she obviously isn't, AND yet, with a simple post she is Jane on the spot with a defense. Why should she care?
The SO states that everyone is not as they post on an online persona, I have been, so she must be speaking about herself. I treated her very well and she continues to treat me like a bad guy even though it is unjustified.
Her kitchen had a leak in the pipe, a large leak and although she blamed me and using butt wipes as the culprit, I cut a 6'x 4' hole in her ceiling, removing the water damage and SHOWED her a very leaky pipe. I spend my time and money to repair the pipe and then inquired as to how much her estimate was to repair it. She stated $250 and I decided to help her out with it giving her $150 even though I didn't have to thinking we would be sharing lots of time under that ceiling. When things went south, I told her that I had no further expectation of living under that ceiling and to apply that money to the cell phone bill that would have covered my obligation through December of this year. Not only was I the type of person to help her when I knew she couldn't afford the repairs, but the cell phone bill was also a big help as in my monies easily covered more than half of her bill and was often more than I should have paid, but I was trying to help. She turns around at the first opportunity and cuts me off, pockets the money, and knows that with the TPO, I have no way to protest. I have never downloaded anything to my phone, I didn't even know you could do that with just a plain Jane phone account, more lies.

You know, I have no idea what friends she had or where she has been and for the most part, since the TPO, I have not even cared. A friend to her COULD mean the has her legs in the air, who knows, it was call a buddy for a one nighter before I showed up in her life, why would that change after? I don't care.

Wicked_Step-Monster-dorothyparkerwannabe-stuknaz-buttercup123-JamaicanMeCrazy-Stick-Your Right- you all have been played, as the courts have been played, as I have been played. My SO is smart, very eloquent with words, and with ONE post has you all offering her up support, never mind that 99% of what she wrote was lies. I grew up with a neighbor that was very two faced, he played with me when it was convenient and ignored me or turned on me when it was popular. This very much feels like this because even though I have given you all my humble, honest, and unbiased opinion, with just a few words you seem intent on biting my leg. I have been done with her for some time now and although I miss what we had, after what she has put me through, I wish for her that she never gets weak in the knees by being kissed ever again and that she pictures my face every time that she is with a man, that would be justice. She has come so close to getting me put in jail so many times and for what I ask?? For doing my very best as a man for her and her two boys?? For faithfully loving someone unconditionally?? For not wanting to give up on her as her ex-husband did??

You all do not know me from Adam and I have grown today to not care very much what you all think but mark my words, ALL of them, that the ones coming from me are genuine and complete. I ask you again, after SO many months of NOT posting here, I do and she out of the blue responds with accusatory words. Whom is stalking whom??

Kevin The Man

*OUT

Comments

imagr8tma's picture

WOW! I don't think i have ever posted on your blog before... BUT just from what you wrote.... seems like you are dealing with alot right now. I hope that all with your situation gets settled and you are able to have peace.

Seems like sometimes when relationships breakup - someone goes and throws out a lot of hits below the belt. Our BM has done that and continues to do that to DH and myself (even though i came on the scene years after their breakup).

There is a great group of StepParents on this website.... so i hope that you are able to continue to post and give good advice from a man's standpoint. The other opinions that really didn't help you out in your situation - please just don't pay attention to those ones.

My thoughts are that everyone on here is a valuable person - whether we agree or not - I take what helps me and just disregard what doesn't.

********She doesn't have to love me or even like me - it doesn't change a dang thing..... So get over it and move on BM!************

Stick's picture

Kevin - How unfair of you to do this! I, for one, KNOW for a fact, that I have ALWAYS told you to move on. Have always said that your lady is giving you the message and that you need to be clear on that.

For you to come on and call me - as well as others that I believe have ALWAYS said this to you.... shows that you also are manipulating the truth and playing hard and fast with the facts.

GET OVER IT. The relationship is OVER. No matter what. No matter how good your intentions are... the fact that you are on here 4 months after the fact still pining away for a woman who has called the police on you and had a restraining order issued against you VERY CLEARLY convince me that you are not being completely truthful with yourself on this issue.

GET YOURSELF SOME HELP. You need a counselor. I said it before and I am saying it again. I have NOT BEEN PLAYED. I stand by what I wrote to you and to your SO.

*** A rainbow just threw up on me... and now I'm sh*tting glitter! ***

Kevin The Man's picture

OK, so I am being untruthful with my statements?? Lets look at this logically for a minute. I wanted her back when I first posted here. Why would I lie?? Why would I misconstrue the facts as my SO claims?? I do not care about her, I really don't but I DID, and just what do you think lying to you guys would do for me?? Ahhh, not very helpful to me right?? I was rather honest and frank with everyone here and was so to gain some kind of insight that might have saved us. I may be many things on this planet but I am not a liar, life is to short and I don't see the point. When the group of you ALL took her side and stance you basically said that she was right and I was a liar.

Kevin THE Man

Stick's picture

Kevin - So you can say you are not outright "lying"... but the reality is... you and probably her as well are BOTH SHADING THE TRUTH to fit your "side".

Case in point... Texting. She says you text her too much. Your reply.... "Hey I text a lot, that's just me."...

Ummm Ok... sure... you can be a texting guy! No problems there. THE ISSUE IS WHEN YOU TEXT HER TOO MUCH. Unwanted texts are just that... unwanted texts... whether that's the kind of guy you are or not.

Let's look at the $150 for whatever. You, in your initial posts, said it was for a cell phone. She wrote and said it was for fixing the ceiling. Then you came on and clarified... Whatever, I'll give you that you didn't want to go into the whole story.... but the fact is - there was, as Paul Harvey says, "THE REST OF THE STORY!!"

Also, you are calling her a "stalker" for coming on here, when on other posts you have written how you invited her to read your blog so she could see how you are feeling. So she does.... she doesn't like what she reads... she responds in her way, and some agree, so now she's a stalker?? And some step-talk members are even calling her a stalker for coming on AT YOUR INVITATION! Hmmmm....

I believe that YOU believe all of the things that you write in your posts. And with that - I still hold true to the belief that YOU NEED HELP. Bottom line.

More examples...

In one of your posts.... You wrote..and I am quoting here... QUOTE " I am left to observe, and although I try so damn hard not to, it is in my nature, (it served me well in the Infantry)."

Now you are saying, well, hey, I just go outside and smoke at night.

Here's another from you... QUOTE..
"But, alas, I feel weak. I miss my life together as a family, I want to know how the boys are, and dammit, I want to pet a slobbery dog SO badly!! I tried meeting a woman last week and as much as I didn't want for my ex-SO to come up, she did. Totally not my fault but I am not ready to move on."

At the bottom of this post you have written that you don't need anyone to tell you it's over. Okay so you know it's over and you are not ready to move on... and someone telling you to get help bothers you???

And the final quote that is a little off... is from your own bio...
QUOTE "The lone man stalks his two boys in the wind tossed elephant grass as the tribal queen quietly begs to be released from the post she is bound to." It's a little scary dude.

BOTH OF YOU... may be doing things that are f*cked up . But I will tell you AGAIN..... my advice to you stands - YOU NEED TO GET PROFESSIONAL HELP. And I'm sorry Kevin, but as I to look at her blog the same way I look at yours - at face value, trying to discern the his side / her side / the truth, thinking that she believes what she wrote, as much as you believe what you wrote.. then I stand by my advice to her as well.... Don't go running in the woods alone, watch your back.

I TOOK BOTH OF YOUR SIDES. YOU JUST DON'T FEEL THAT YOU ARE WRONG in any of this, it seems. You don't seem to want to hear anything other than how good you are and how she isn't good enough.

GET HELP.

*** A rainbow just threw up on me... and now I'm sh*tting glitter! ***

Kevin The Man's picture

It is very interesting that you still see a 'side' even when you say that you are blind. Is it so hard to believe that she used the texting as a weapon against me?? The truth is very simple. The phone was explained and you do not find it in the least interesting that when I come on here yesterday for the first time in QUITE a while that she is on my ass getting extremely defensive?? Sure I gave her the password MONTHS ago and after blaming me for EVERYTHING under the sun, I wanted her to see that others saw things the way I did. I never expected that after MANY, many sunsets she would be scoping out this site and watching for my every word. She explained that yesterday was her first post and I believe she was subscribed and waiting for me to contact this community.
I am a freaking owl and there is NOTHING, NEVER that goes on around me without me being in tune with it, think of a cross between an American Indian and a security camera, I just rarely miss anything, ever. BUT, what does a smart man expect to glean EVER from sitting in the street as his ex sleeps and has NO knowledge of him being outside?? Never was I ever stalking anyone.
Yes, someone that has never been in my home, knows much more than a whisper about me, has never seen my face and states that I need professional help does not get taken seriously. I stated that I do miss the people I once called my family, BUT, I am sh*t hot on the FACT that they will never be that!! I am lonely, bored, feeling stomped, and made out to be a bad person but have I been here before?? Sure. I have been in combat and depression is part of what the Army issues you, however, I know that eventually I will open my heart to another, forget the manic-depressive up the street, and elevate my happiness once again. I am the best man that I know and although you could say I hang or work with losers (which may not be TOO far from the truth) I am still the good guy that is always on top of my situation.

Kevin The Man

Amazed's picture

Aww kevin why do you continue to try and defend yourself when there's really nothing to defend?? We get it ok? You say you're not doing anything wrong...exSO says you are...whatever. It is what it is...be happy and healthy no point in continuing the discussion really when you think about it rationally.

stuknaz's picture

Cause he is guilty!! Anyway, this is a dead issue but he keeps on coming back for more! Why??

"And this too shall pass..."

Kevin The Man's picture

Umm, because I don't usually get someone on my computer, typing words, having never known me, judging me. IT JUST DOESN'T HAPPEN!!! The people that know me respect me and don't judge me. Do you usually hate men?? Does it inflate your ego to take sides against any random man and tell him he was a total shit based on crap information and not never knowing the way he embraced a family and called it his own?? You are bitter, hurt, and in a much worse place than I ever will be?? I think so. I feel sorry for you. Be better.

Kevin The Man

Amazed's picture

wow Kevin...who is hurt and bitter? now that you mention it...I feel pretty fantastic today. Hopefully you can just chalk all this up to perfect strangers reading your story then seeing your exSO with another story that makes us all very confused and suspicious of both parties. I'm sorry you're feeling beat up and now you're lashing out calling us bitter angry man haters. Maybe it's time to just log off and not look back?

stuknaz's picture

Sorry babe! I don't hate men! I love my husband to death and the feeling is mutual! I have a great life and I am not a stalker.

If anyone is bitter is is you! Go smoke a cigarette and stare into your ex's window and watch her from afar!

You really should seek some sort of professional help. And save your sorrow for yourself!

Kevin you are not the man by the way.

"And this too shall pass..."

Stick's picture

Sorry Isolated Barbie, Stuknaz.... you didn't deserve to be told those things.

Kevin - You came on here asking for help. I didn't think I was judging you. I thought I was offering you help. Telling you to see a professional - in my eyes - is my opinion of the help you need. It's not meant as a slap... or as a judgment. We tell women on here all day long to get counseling, to seek help, to talk to someone who knows how to handle these situations, because we cannot do that much. Take that for what you will. I have been accused of being judgmental. But never for telling someone I think they need help. (as far as I recall)

Amazed's picture

Please don't apologize for him being rude Stick. Honey I've been called A LOT worse on here before...I just have to stop even reading posts by him at this point bc he's very difficult to reason with and I'm not really sure why he's still here. He's not a step, he's not a parent...not sure what his purpose is with being here at this point.
~IBarbie~

stuknaz's picture

I agree IsolatedBarbie

He really had no business being here in the first place. He has some real issue though.
Oh well sticks and stones...

Thanks for coming to our rescue Stick, but we are big girls! Smile

"And this too shall pass..."

Kevin The Man's picture

No business?? WTF are you talking about, if EVER you are to be an open community to help step parents OR more likely, a SOON to BE step person, you and IB need to find a new sewing circle because I don't believe this is what this site was meant to provide for others.

Piss off,

You both are a stain to this site simply because of how you have treated me.

Sad really

Kevin The Man

stuknaz's picture

All I can do is laugh!! What a child! Grow up! i guess i hurt him where it hurts! When I wrote
Kevin is not the man! Biggrin

"And this too shall pass..."

Kevin The Man's picture

Yeah, me separating myself from people that pass judgment based on .........nothing...

Kevin The Man

Kevin The Man's picture

I am ONLY commenting on the much now used statement, 'it is what it is'. IT is NOT what it IS if you get up off of your ass and DO something about it. Like a blacksmith and iron, you can actually MAKE it something if you WANT to!!!

Kevin The Man

Amazed's picture

I MEANT it is what it is as far as we have NO CLUE who is for real and who is a psychopath in regard to your situation. No need to use profanity and talk about getting off our asses.

Kevin The Man's picture

OK, Isolated 'brain cell' Barbie, you have this knack for pushing my buttons, perhaps because you use such illogical arguments to back your bat wing thoughts. YES, I am pointing my words at you. Read, re-read my words, you are NOT comprehending my words, AT ALL. They taught written comprehension in your area growing up right?? READ my words, I become frustrated with your idiocy and lack of comprehension.

Kevin The Man

Wicked.Step.Monster's picture

Ok Kevin... that's ENOUGH.... Please remove yourself from this website as you have no need to be here any longer. I will NOT stand by and watch you talk to Barbie in this manner. Shut your mouth now.

Kevin The Man's picture

You know I am just defending my good name, I have been invited here to give my opinion, I am not the one being rowdy or accusatory. Arguing online is like winning the Special Olympics, in the end, you are all retarded.

Kevin The Man

stuknaz's picture

If we are all retarded?? Why are you STILL here! Why would you want to be in a sewing circle?

"And this too shall pass..."

Wicked.Step.Monster's picture

Do you have any idea how VERY offensive that statement is to me? I have a mentally retarded cousin and I don't appreciate that attempt at humor. Now I am finished.

Kevin The Man's picture

I will say this, on many, many occasions I have been asked to give advice here. People value my opinion. I am a man and although I have not been here for quite some time because I felt I was undeserving, I (or my opinion) was missed. Keep in mind that for the past few months I have NOT been here and just came by to say Hello to internet friends. One lying post and I become a bad guy. AGAIN, did you ever think that it was weird she posted RIGHT after I did after months?? I have JUST been defending my character, that is all.

Kevin The Man

Kevin The Man's picture

I am, as I have been lately, on all fronts, defending my character, it is tiring when I know the truth and it still tough to handle considering I know I am just! That is all.

Kevin The Man

imagr8tma's picture

Kevin - My best advice would be if the relationship is over and you say you no longer care about her. Move on emotionally from her. Don't allow the emotions to run your life and your actions.

Try as best you can to busy yourself with other things to keep your mind off of her. Even if that means changing your actions.... don't sit near her house and smoke, don't walk or be around where she will be. Even if it is your habits from a while ago... Just change those things so that she is not on your mind and that you do not have to run into her.

In any relationship there are two sides to a story, there are always two perceptions of how things went. You feel she is not telling the truth, She feels as if you are not telling the truth.

The one thing that has not changed is that you both are no longer together. Go forward, don't look back and progress. Things happen and relationships end for a reason. You may find a women who you have a lot in common with, and both of you may be able to have peace and happiness in a new relationship.

My advice - just let it go and move forward. Let her say whatever. Who cares you are no longer in a relationship with her.

********She doesn't have to love me or even like me - it doesn't change a dang thing..... So get over it and move on BM!************

Kevin The Man's picture

Also, another belated point as I revisit this post for personal growth, WHY IN THE F*CK DID YOU CLICK MY POST IF YOU WERE NOT INTERESTED???? I may blog in the future, I would LOVE if you ignored that one!!

Thanks

Kevin The Man

Amazed's picture

good morning Kevin Smile

"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else." ~Judy Garland

Purpleflower09's picture

I think your just a lonely, miserable man who can't let his ex go. You remind me of my ex, of whom I ended the relationship 6 years ago..he is still single, because I left him when he was an asshole and he still is. What ever you reason on being on this site is, if it's to lash out at women because you have a hate on for women, or whether YOUR comprehension is muddled...i think people are tired of your shit, your whining, you being the " im a good guy who got dumped on" crap. My question is...what did you do to ruin the relationship. Truly I dont care what your response is, you can call me what you want..really doesn't phase me..because to me your just another sad, stalking depressed man in the world who will boo hoo over one woman for the rest of his life. Grow up, get over yourself and leave this website to people who have real issues to discuss. Thanks!

Purpleflower

onehappygirl's picture

Hello, Pot - I'm Kettle - your black!!
______________________________________

Love me or hate me, I'm still gonna shine!!!

Cdngirl's picture

I don't post often, but I figured I would post now. It does have me wondering who the stalker is when you have been a poster here for quiet a while and now you post once after a long time away and within minutes your ex is posting. I don't know either of you and I won't say who is doing what. Are you a stalker I don't know but I know what it is like to live by an ex and it is natural for one to wonder what is happening I mean seriously even when you don't live by someone you do it. I use to live in the same building as a ex and when i came home at night I would naturally check to see if his car was there or if the light was on in his apartment. Did I consider this stalking no, as I just had to look and I was not going out of my way and I was not following him. I wondered what he was doing but nothing more.

I do feel bad that most people on here where willing to take your ex's word as correct so fast over yours. Is it a man hating thing I have to wonder? Don't take anything personal (which I doubt you will) good luck in the future and may you find someone who deserves what you have to offer.

Stick's picture

CDNGirl - if you went back and read Kevin's other blogs, you might feel a little differently...

*** A rainbow just threw up on me... and now I'm sh*tting glitter! ***

ubrngoutdbitchnme's picture

That's what I'm saying!!! He hasn't posted in a while. He decides to post today and his ex also posted today. Weird.....

Cdngirl's picture

I have read his blogs almost from the time that he started writting them. Do I read depseration in them yes, but I have also read that in many other blogs. I just think it is ironic that one is willing to believe someone after one post so completely than another.

Stick's picture

It's not that I believe one over the other. It's that I believe them BOTH and am trying to figure out where the real truth is.

Unfortunately, his actions, while he explains them innocently, could be construed as "stalking".

OK... he sits outside at 3 in the morning smoking a cigarette. Are you telling me it's completely innocent - given the fact that he's still pining over this woman - that he faces her house to do so? I believe it is his normal habit. I also believe he could look the other way.

He needs real counseling to get over this.

*** A rainbow just threw up on me... and now I'm sh*tting glitter! ***

Kevin The Man's picture

The circle where her house is situated in is at the top of the hill and has the most wide open view, (read, no trees) I sat facing down the street and her house was at my 5 o'clock. Remember, this early, she was asleep, I don't really see that she ever even knew until right before it blew up I stated to her that I sat out there often and pondered life. How many times did I sit out there when it was cloudy or raining, none, no stars.

KittyKat's picture

I rarely post on here other than step issues

Today is the first day I read K's posts, and I am VERY CONCERNCED with his lack of respect/obsession with "legs up in the air" "labia" he's just a "penis and a tongue", etc. Maybe some people find that "sexy" or a turn-on, but to me it's just scary given the circumstances.

Especially since SO is a teacher....would he just hang out with her and her other teacher friends and start talking about their "labia"? I hope she runs like HELL and takes whatever precautions are necessary. I'd be afraid to "expose" him (no pun intended) to my students AND my children in I were in her shoes.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."-Eleanor Roosevelt

Kevin The Man's picture

I used to prescreen the movies and comedy shows for her two sons. I was just using a potty mouth and telling it like it is. 'legs up in the air' WAS cleaned up, 'labia' was comedy, and 'penis and tongue' was her answer to my question: What do you miss most about me? If I offended you I would love to say, STAY INDOORS!!!!! Life is rough, people say rough things and have rough language, one of the biggest cussers I have ever met was a Southern Baptist preacher!!

Kevin The Man

buttercookie's picture

I really don't know who the other party is in this. I work weird hours so I sometimes sit outside at odd hours because I don't smoke in my house either so I don't think thats unbelievable. Odd to non-smokers maybe. Break ups are hard and both people sometimes need to slam the other and make things up. Who is telling the truth here? I don't know but I wouldn't jump to conclusions because he's outside smoking. Sounds like both parties can benefit from staying seperate.

devilwoman's picture

Well, I have to also wonder how/why Kevin's ex SO was here to post within minutes of his post. THAT is stalkerish. Sorry...it just is.

LizzieA's picture

Yeah and why does she care what people think of her? Re: Kevin, you can't make people love you. There are at least 3 billion women in the world. Surely there is one who will love you. Let her go, and stop feeling like the break-up is an indictment of your un-lovableness.

Lilly's picture

Walk away, and dont look back Kevin. At this point the blame game doesn't matter.
Bottom line is that this relationship with SO is over. Even if she made the entire thing up and made you look like a stalker, so what? No-one with the slightest motive of reconciliation would type all that.

Time to close the book on this one. Move on and perhaps even move out to another town.

buttercup123's picture

I think that you and she BOTH need to just move on. You're right about one thing; we don't know the truth. We weren't there. BUT I do think that it takes two to tango and neither is completely blameless. You would both be so much better off if you moved on and stayed out of each others way. Isn't blogging all this vitriol tiring?

Amazed's picture

I keep revisiting these blogs posted by Kevin and exSO...it's just all so confusing and tragic. It just really makes you think about things ya know? Two people can start out so wonderfully with such good intentions and plans...then it just blows to pieces. Then all that raw emotion just pours out angrily and here everyone is reading and trying to help something that can't be helped. It's really so sad. It's a sorry thing for you both no matter who is wrong and no matter who is lying or being honest...it really says a lot about the communication breakdown and how harmful it can be for a relationship. one person is going along thinking one thing while the other is on a completely different level...

Kevin The Man's picture

Hey all, I apologize if I rubbed some of you the wrong way. It has SO been done with her and like I said, I gave it my all and am a little scared to do it all again and risk feeling this way again. I ONLY got mad because it seemed as though some of you were instantly jumping on her side when she has been at LEAST stalking this site, you all KNEW I was here for sincere purposes and yes I probably DID sound desperate because nothing I was doing or that you all suggested was working. I was honest with you all and when you jumped on her side I felt you all were basically calling me a liar. I do not lie, nor would it be logical to do so and get ANY kind of real advice that MIGHT have worked.

Kevin The Man's picture

Thank you ALL, but I do not need reminding that it is over, she couldn't get me back no matter what she tried.

Kevin The Man

JMC's picture

Kevin ~ I am sorry that you went through a bad breakup, however, I still stand by my (and many others) comment that there are two sides to every story. Yes, sometimes some of the posts you wrote or commented on were a little one sided, and some of the off-color comments you made that didn't even relate to the topic at hand showed a side of you that at times seemed you were seeking a shock reaction from the ST members. That's why it was interesting to read your SO's side of the story. And for the record, even if your ex-so is fabricating any of her story, I would still advise anyone who feels threatened by an ex and has gone so far as to get a r.o. against them to be careful and extremely cautious.

As I stated in your ex-so's post, when it's over, it's time to move on. It's obvious that your ex is no longer interested in a relationship with you, for whatever reason. Even if you were the perfect gentleman and she still wanted to end it, she has that right. And yes, it's painful to know someone you love and care for no longer reciprocates those feelings towards you. It sucks, but you have to move on - why would you want to pursue someone who obviously doesn't want you?

Kevin, I sincerely wish you the best in life and hope you find a woman who can appreciate you for who you are - there is someone out there, it's just not your ex-so. Please for your sake and hers, and even her children, move on.

JMC

Kevin The Man's picture

Ughhhh, I have moved on in my mind, I am just scared of being completely skewered on the barbie, from left field, for NO reason.

Kevin The Man

Amazed's picture

Kevin. I didn't skewer you until you lashed out...and even then you weren't skewered. You've flung more insults at me than what I've said to you. I realize it makes you feel better to insult my intelligence,comprehension,etc... whatever makes you feel better is great so just go ahead and rip me up. As long as you feel better for doing it. That's all that really matters Kevin. As long as YOU feel better.

~Why run away? I know who I am...you know who I am. Just let me be~

Kevin The Man's picture

yes, yes, back away slowly, you need to put a filter on your mouth, perhaps a brain filter

Amazed's picture

yes Kevin. I know. You're the man. Shame on me,the brainless,lifeless moron to try to reason with such an obviously superior human being. Forgive me. Please. My heart is breaking and I don't think I'll sleep tonight if you don't forgive me for daring to even try to converse with such an awesomely special man. *sigh* lowely stain on the underpanties of steptalk that I am.
I lament over the fact that I shall never be as gloriously amazing as Kevin the Man.

~Why run away? I know who I am...you know who I am. Just let me be~

JMC's picture

And you could be if you don't leave her alone. Don't give the opportunity or impression to her or anyone else to make you look guilty; if you're not doing anything to initiate contact or don't appear to be stalking her or her family, then you shouldn't have anything to worry about. Go on about your business and stop worrying about if she's home, who's she's with, what her & the kids are doing; it's not your problem or business now. The sooner you get on with your life, the better it will be for all concerned. I know you have roommates and seem quite comfortable with your home, but if you can't move past the drama due to her being so physically close in proximity, maybe you should consider relocating. It's a major ordeal, but you need to do whatever it takes to get on with your life.
Best wishes, Kevin.
JMC

Kevin The Man's picture

I am living, and have been living this plan you posted for me, for quite some time!!

Kevin The Man

JMC's picture

Okay, I've tried to be nice, man. But you're talking out your ass and insulting ST members who have tried to help you, listened to your bu*lsh*t and gave you the benefit of the doubt; and now you have the balls to be insulting to everyone on here? You really have no business on this site anymore - as another member pointed out, you have no bio kids, you have no step kids; so why are you still here? The more you keep yammering, the more your ex-so appears to be correct about you. Stop the bu*lsh*t and just leave.

Although I wish you a nice life, Kevin, I seriously doubt you will maintain a decent relationship with any woman with your current attitude. It would be in your best interest to seek counseling. You're a veteran - there are many programs out there to help military personnel - please contact your local v.a. office and get the counseling you so desperately need before you do something that you will regret.

Best wishes
JMC

Totalybogus's picture

Kevin, no matter what the truth is in this sad situation, you came here for advice and to vent your anger and frustration out, like ALL of the other posters on this site. You do not deserve to be lambasted regardless of whether you are right or wrong. If people are frustrated with you for NOT heeding their advice, perhaps they shouldn't post back to you and scroll on by. You should not be attacked for how you FEEL. No one should.

I have had a spouse violate my space on another site I frequent and aired our dirty laundry for all to see. I was an active member of that site for 7 years already when he decided to do that and of course, even though he didn't print a name, everyone knew who he was talking about. I was mortified. You invited her here to try to help get your relationship back in order. What she did IS a violation of not only the very place where you come to vent in peace, she has also used this forum to continue precisely what she purports to want to be away from.

I can only say that you need to save your energy. She doesn't deserve it no matter what the real story is. She obviously doesn't want what you have to offer. There is someone out there for you. Put your energy into finding that person. Seriously dude, the cancellation of the trip you were supposed to go on would have been the end for me. That speaks volumes. The rest of what she is writing now is mind fodder. Stop reacting to it. It only validates her.

I'm sorry this all turned out this way for you.

Kevin The Man's picture

Wow, you're a brighty!! I feel you and I am on the same wave length. Did you also notice how she mentioned dating and some $39.95 to push it further. I actually sit at home at times feeling worried in that, this all happened SO fast, WHAT IS NEXT!!

Kevin The Man

imagr8tma's picture

Kevin - My best advice would be if the relationship is over and you say you no longer care about her. Move on emotionally from her. Don't allow the emotions to run your life and your actions.

Try as best you can to busy yourself with other things to keep your mind off of her. Even if that means changing your actions.... don't sit near her house and smoke, don't walk or be around where she will be. Even if it is your habits from a while ago... Just change those things so that she is not on your mind and that you do not have to run into her.

In any relationship there are two sides to a story, there are always two perceptions of how things went. You feel she is not telling the truth, She feels as if you are not telling the truth.

The one thing that has not changed is that you both are no longer together. Go forward, don't look back and progress. Things happen and relationships end for a reason. You may find a women who you have a lot in common with, and both of you may be able to have peace and happiness in a new relationship.

My advice - just let it go and move forward. Let her say whatever. Who cares you are no longer in a relationship with her.

********She doesn't have to love me or even like me - it doesn't change a dang thing..... So get over it and move on BM!************

Lilly's picture

Listen, I know someone that got on this site, wrote an entire story and had everyone on here jumping thru hoops trying to figure it out. Things got nasty quick.

I guess we give women the benifit of the doubt, when we feel they are in danger or being stalked. This is a place women come from, zero toloerance.

Im not saying that SO is telling the truth, it does seem a little fishy, but the fact is Kevin, the relationship is over and time to move on.

I dont think you should leave here, I think we need men here, I dont think this should be just for Stepparents, We need people to give advise from a different perspective also.

Stick's picture

Holy Cow! I go out to get my oil changed and KA-BOOM!

*** A rainbow just threw up on me... and now I'm sh*tting glitter! ***

buttercup123's picture

Hahaha, I find it so funny that when people don't agree with you they are retarded or hate ALL men!! I think maybe you had your buttons pushed which made you say that but still.

Lashing out at us, isn't helping your cause. Let's all move on and talk about something more worthwhile. You say that you've moved on now and so has your SO. Stay on this site, give a man's opinion, but I suggest that you move on from this topic. It doesn't do you any good.

imagr8tma's picture

I just went back and read this post after it popped back up on the "recent posts". This is to me is a stalker in denial. This is like my x-husband telling me he used to sit in my cul-de-sac to make sure i was safe. Dude needs to get some counseling.

His down time needs to be at his own home doing his own thing. He is stalking her to make sure no other guys are there after she basically dumped him. Almost like he can't believe that she ended it because of his action - like she must have found someone else.

I would suggest to him to leave her alone, he has a life - enjoy it and move forward before it winds him up in jail.

If I were his ex I would have video tapped him every night after he told me he was out there... and filed a restraining and stalking order against him. His actions are not healthy and reak of stalker tendancies.

Hell I would have called the police on his behind each and every time he showed up anywhere I was - as he was stalking her trying to force his way back into her life.

Dude needs some help - before he gets so obsessed he does something tragic and is in jail the rest of his life......

Geez - some people.

********She doesn't have to love me or even like me - it doesn't change a dang thing..... So get over it and move on BM!************