BF and I both have full time jobs and I also teach singing every Wednesday evening as well, which means I don’t get home until about 8.30pm every Wednesday. Since SS13 has been living with us (about 3mths now) I have asked BF if he could please make sure that SS13 has a shower before I get home on a Wed (we are renovating the main bathroom, so at the moment we all need to share the ensuite) so I can go into my bedroom and get change etc.. I have also asked BF if he could please wash and clean up after dinner cause I don’t want to be doing it that late at night.
Well SS13 has maybe had a shower before I got home late about 3 times all the other times he has just gotten in the bathroom about 5min before I get home and I think maybe the dishes have done about 5 times.
Usually I crack the shits express my anger and get on with it but this is what happened after working late last night.
I got home about 8.25pm, my dinner ready for me on the bench (1 point for BF), dirty dinner dishes in piled in the sink, house in a mess and SS13 had once again just jumped into the shower. I told BF again to please ensure he gets in the shower earlier as now I have to wait 20min before he gets out, just so I can go into my bedroom to finally get out of my work clothes.
So while waiting for SS13 I decided to fold the clothes that I didn’t get a chance to do the night before, while doing this I asked BF if SS chores were all done, BF ensure that the chores are done and that he checked and made sure, (you guessed it, they weren’t done and BF mustn’t have checked).
In the mean time SS finished his shower so I went into the bedroom to get change and BF walks in and says he’s going to bed, WTF????? I just gave him the biggest dirty look (if my looks could kill, BF would defiantly be dead by now) and I walked out of the room after that (I’m sick of asking him to do these things every Wed evening and getting upset and angry everytime cause there not done). BF told me not to worry about doing the dishes or anything (sure, no problem, so then there will be double the lot for me when I get home the tomorrow night, cause he certainly wont do them). Mind you I had only been home about 10-15min by this stage and he decides to go to bed.
Anyway after a very long day and an hour or so of cleaning and tiding up, that was it, I’d had it. I was too tried for dinner at the stage, so I just decided to go outside and relax with a cigarette while I calmed myself down.
I had with me a piece of paper and pen and I wrote down all the chores SS13 didn’t do. We have come up with a system that SS gets an allowance every week if ALL his chores are done and for every chore that isn’t done a certain amount of money gets deducted from his allowance everytime that chore is not done. So at the bottom of my list of what SS didn’t do, I wrote down that $4.00 is to be deducted for what hasn’t been done. I left the note for BF this morning saying that since SS was his responsibility this is what was done out of his chores and he can decide weather SS should be deducted or not (this is only our second week trying this chores system out with SS).
I’m tried of always reminding SS what he needs to do even though there is a list on the fridge for him, I’m pissed off that if SS doesn’t want to do it BF tells him will wait and see what Dani has to say about that when I get home (IT’S HIS SON FOR CRYING OUT LOUD).
BF loves the chores idea but doesn’t reinforce them or the house rules, doesn’t stick to what he tells or threatens SS with and it always gets put back to me cause I’m the tougher one.
SS always does ALL his chores when I’m around cause there will be no Xbox until chores and homework are done.
So ladies this is what I need your help with, I told BF last night if he is not going to ensure the chores are done then I’m not going to bother either cause at the end of the day SS13 is his responsibility not mine. But the problem with that is if I don’t keep on top of this with SS I’m the one that is stuck picking up after him, cause BF certainly wont do it.
So boys and girls where do I go from here? I can’t even disengage cause I’m left literally picking up the pieces.