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I HOPE I AM WELCOME

KeepsGettingBetter's picture

Some of you may remember me from a blog that I posted a while ago about my beautiful fiancé (Dani) that committed suicide last November. By the way THANK YOU for all your condolences and wonderful thoughts of Dani.

As many of you suggested, I have been seeing a councillor who has been helping me deal with her passing.

In recent months I have been speaking with my councillor about this site and how Dani was a regular and she seemed to have had many friends that she confided in.

I finally no longer blame myself for her death but just wish she had of spoken to me about how she was really feeling first.

Anyway, my councillor has suggested that it would be a good idea for me to continue on with this site and hopefully share a male/BioFather opinion of how some of us men think and feel in these step situations. I guess my councillor thinks it’s a good idea cause it will help with my future dealings with my own children and their dreaded BM.

As most of you know I have 3 boys (2 in highschool and 1 still in primary). I currently have custody of my eldest SS14 (BM, kicked him out, I’m sure Dani would have already posted about this), and my younger 2 still live with BM and her fiancé.

I hope to offer some advice based on my own experiences and hopefully receive some advice regarding the BM and ways of dealing with her.

Thank You,

(Formally known as Dani. RIP baby girl)

Comments

DISbelief's picture

So good to hear from you. I was actually thinking about you just a few days ago.

Sounds like you are working through this difficult situation in a healthy mannor. I can see how your counselor would deem this a good place to talk and possibly help some in need of a new perspective.

I am happy to see that you are finding some peace in this. Dani was loved and respected here.

A lot of those that knew Dani and respected her opinion, and knew her story are no longer here. Myself included, more of a lurker out of habit now, but won't be posting. But I saw your post and couldn't pass it by without sending you my best.

Hang in there... and great big (((HUGS))) to you!!

KeepsGettingBetter's picture

Thank You DISbelief for responding. It's sad to hear that many who Dani knew are longer on this site Sad

If ever your lurking in the future and would like to drop me a line on one of my posts you are more than welcome to. Best of luck to you and Thank you again.

now4teens's picture

Oh my Goodness-
As soon as I saw Dani's icon, my heart just sank!
I was one of the people who used to "speak" with Dani and was so shocked and saddened to hear of her suicide.

I am so happy to hear that you are doing well and are seeking help for yourself! And certainly you are always welcome here. I hope you will find a lot of help here as well as make some good friends, just as Dani did!

Welcome Smile

KeepsGettingBetter's picture

Thank you now4teens.

BTW, Dani use to love your saying about Carol Brady.It was her favourite.

Dawn-Moderator's picture

You are most definitely welcome and I look forward to your male/biofather opinions!

Dawn

Colorado Girl's picture

I welcome your posts a thousand times over. Smile

Dani was always good to me.

She sent me a PM once with a true understanding of some personal strife I was going thru. Had some really good recommendations for some informational links.

My own regret is not thanking her like I should have and wishing I would have paid more attention to her pain and impending self destruction. Sad

Much love,

Colorado Girl

KeepsGettingBetter's picture

I have seen that PM CG. It's actually something Im looking into at the moment Wink

As for your regret, it's mine as well Sad

Colorado Girl's picture

She really was trying.

I could read it in her words and she was reaching out in any way she could. She said so herself that she determined where her happiness lay and she was trying to give herself the power of determining it. It's really hard to do if depression is part of your battle.

I hope you find your peace with it.

She obviously did love you so.

~CG

Gia's picture

Welcome here! Look fwd to your posts. Hopefully you have found some sort of peace of mind.

Take care!

StepMadre's picture

You are soooo welcome on this site! I have so much admiration for your courage and compassion through what I imagine is the most difficult situation anyone can go through. We all support you and welcome your suggestions, advice and insight. Cheers to you for caring enough to get on this site and help those like your beloved fiance. Best wishes!

HennyPen's picture

I did not know Dani, but I am sorry for your loss and it will be good to have the Dad's point of view in some issues! might help us figure out how you guys think. Wink

God Bless,
~J

stormabruin's picture

I've been here only a few months & didn't know Dani, but wanted to tell you I'm sorry for your loss. I look forward to any input or advice you have to offer as a male/bio-dad. Smile

Mich811's picture

Welcome. I sent you a PM. I hope that you are able to benefit from this site, and I am sure it will help us all to hear your thoughts.