They ignore me...act like they are above me...I taught them BOTH how to do their makeup and now my 14 yr old the other day goes, "you should really let me help you with your makeup"... I was like, "are you serious right now??????"

Another thing is that I just had a baby three months ago and Im still trying to lose my pregnancy weight and my 14 year old will stand right in front of me and lift up her shirt and act like she's just stretching or something but she tries to flaunt her body in front of me now that I'm not in the best shape...

Its like,I don't want to compete for "prettiness" but I feel like they constantly want to compete with me...I feel like I'm in highschool again...grrrrr

Thank you...I just read that and it helps so much! I feel that exact way...it puts a finger on the issues...my husband thinks a lot of it is "in my head" because if he does confront them, they say, "she's too sensitive" ...yesterday I sat in our car after church and cried for an hour...my 16 year old was rude to me at my church!!!!! I couldn't even stay to listen to the sermon...I went and sat in an empty room...I'm at my end...

Thank you guys...I have felt so alone in my anger and frustration and my husband doesnt want to hear it...he says now that to leave him out of it...I'm like, "NO! Its YOUR KIDS!"I would LOVE to disengage...my husband has them over when he knows that he's not going to be off of work til reeeeaaaaalllllly late so I'll make plans to hang out with my parents so I'm not stuck with them all day long and then in front of them (without asking me) will say, "you're gonna go shopping with her and her parents tomorrow!" I shoot him a look like, "what the HELL are you doing?!" And then he will say out loud "why are you giving me
Looks like you don't want to be around them? You are so rude". But the reason I make other plans is for my own sanity...they are in the kitchen and main living area all day lounging on the couch with all the blankets and the remote and if I walk in the room, they dont even look at me or say a word to me OR slide over so I can sit down...I feel like my home isn't even my own anymore...I clean up after them constantly...today I went into my stepdaughters room to find my makeup strewn across the floor...I am to the point of really being the stepmom they can't stand...they comes over when they are sick and kiss the baby on the mouth and let him suck on their fingers and ignore me and then I have to stay up all night with a sick baby while they sleep peacefully in their room and I said "hey, you've been sick...don't kiss the baby on the lips" replied by sd14 "I'm not sick anymore" and continues to kiss him over and over on the lips...then coughs a horrible cough 10 min. later...I feel so complainy but I'm just venting so I don't explode...

You are so right. I have been so afraid to make my husband mad at me so I have stopped standing up for myself...I AM responsible for protecting my new baby and its bullshit that they come over and spread their sickness to him...

Wow...I just read the reply from Step aside...you are right! My husband says things to me front of his kids that he never would say to me when we are alone because he has backup...after he said,"you are so rude" he went into his room and slammed the door and left me sitting there with them...so I tried to talk to them and asked them, "do you think I'm rude?" They just awkwardly laughed, got up went and opened up my the door to the room my husband was in and said, "goodnight dad we love you!!!" And went into their room and shut the door and then I was left sitting there with a crying baby...I couldnt even sleep...I feel like I'm being bullied in my own home...I slept on the couch with the baby next to me in his little portable bassinet while those three were snug in bed...my husband is nice to me until his kids are around and then he turns into a different person...its like he wants them to think he treats me like shit all the time...I want to say to him, "who are you?!?!?!"

I need the confidence to stand up to my step kids...I don't know how to get it...I'm always cconcerned I'm going to hurt their feelings but I'm dying inside in the process...

Okay...I am feeling empowered for the first time in a long time and the girls are coming over tonight and will be with us all day tomorrow because its the 15 turning 16 SDS birthday so I am going to stand up for myself even if my husband wants to divorce me for it...I can't go on feeling like this ONE more day so I am going to read your advice over and over so I don't justify their behavior towards me anymore...my husband is 10 years older than me and a business man and he can be quite intimidating when we fight and usually will jump down my throat if I have any sort of opinion that is not positive about his kids but I cannot let him intimidate me anymore. Its tearing my heart into pieces this situation so I'm going to standup. Thank you so much for your advice...I feel a huge weight is already lifted off of my back...

That is a gooood idea! Thanks!!! I'm gonna go to the store right now and get one so I'm reminding myself that I am serious about change in my life. It will be the first step to turning this ship around...