You are here

Women Wednesday

robin333's picture

Recently, several posters have said they were in a slump, depressed or have suffered a loss of a fur baby, have a family member with a medical emergency... I want to know what you are doing to take care of yourself. Everyone post what you have done to restore your inner peace /feel like YOU. Or commit to what you are going to do.

Comments

Monchichi's picture

I am going to bed at the same time as my daughters, to handle my extreme exhaustion and depression. I find when I am waking up, I am less stressed and angry. My head is clearer and I can communicate better with everyone.

robin333's picture

That sounds good Mon. I am sorry you are exhausted and depressed. Just be sure you are getting enough "loving" from DH at that bedtime.

Monchichi's picture

No loving right now. We are both too stressed. Seeing me upset, upsets him. Seeing the kids (all of them) so upset, upsets us both. Seeing my H upset, upsets me more. You get the pattern.

We will figure it out, one step at a time.

robin333's picture

I work from home and have been feeling especially isolated lately. I have been trying to get out more. Recently went to a play and have booked a mini vacation with one of my bff's. And I am getting Manis every 2 weeks just because.

thisisnotmocking's picture

Then you're eating well, too!

Beer=pork chop in every can
Wine=fresh fruit
Bloody Mary=fresh veg

You go girl!

thisisnotmocking's picture

Rum... Hmmm... Lemme think on that one. I can't even stand the smell, so I don't drink it. I'll come up with something!

robin333's picture

Your personal awareness is impressive. Any strategies you want to share since we are in the holiday season of overindulgence?

WalkOnBy's picture

again, sister from another mister.

I tend toward eating disorders, too, and my illness has given me several extra pounds. I am walking that fine line between "sensible" and "control freak."

Luckily, DH watches out for me and helps me realize when I might be falling into the trap.

moeilijk's picture

I just send my DH multiple texts about how much I hate my in-laws and how I am going to cut off all contact and not allow them to have time with DD anymore.

And nap whenever I can. And am now letting DD watch cartoons because I have a fever and my in-laws are no longer babysitting today as planned last week because they are going to get a haircut instead.

I hate them.

Monchichi's picture

Oh moeilijk (hugs) I would take your DD if I could so you could have a break. Nothing worse and why I am so grateful for having a child minder. In-laws and my parents are useless.

moeilijk's picture

It ended up ok, it's just that she's not even 2 and I don't like her watching TV. But I was not doing well myself, so ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

moeilijk's picture

I just find them difficult, very critical and really fake, and I spend a lot of time with them since DD was born. I've arranged things to have less time with them, but now I think I'll cut back more.

See, usually they come to my house on 9am on Wednesday mornings, drink coffee and talk for 40 minutes, then take DD swimming. Then they come back around noon and eat lunch (and talk) and then leave around 2pm. If the talk was more fun that would be ok, or if the lunch could be whatever, that'd be ok. But even though they have said "Oh, we'll eat whatever" it's ALWAYS a big discussion if it's not bread.

Plus I pay for the swimming anyways. It's just for my SIL to have a nice activity with her and to establish a good bond. But now DD goes two 1/2 days per week to the same daycare where SIL works, so that's enough time together. And one of the 1/2 days, MIL picks her up and spends the afternoon with her (4 hours). And another day in the week, I see MIL at the gym and she sees DD when we all sit around afterwards and drink coffee/eat lunch (I mean bread).

So as of the new year, I'm going to pull DD out of swimming and put her into a really nice 3 hours playgroup, much smaller than the daycare with a very different approach to kids (very gentle and engaged, not like typically Dutch everyone in the same mold rules). Then I get some time for myself instead of serving coffee and lunch to people who criticize me all the time. I'm also going to make picking up DD from MIL that one day per week an appointment, not a visit. Starting tomorrow.

The change is substantial for me, less time around them. Too bad for DD, she likes swimming and adores my SIL, but I'm really angry, which doesn't happen so much, and I need to exit. I would be willing for them to do swimming if I drop DD off at 9 and pick her back up at 12, but I am done with the hostess crap.

I'm nervous about it though. I have had 'confrontations' and 'discussions' with them before, and honestly, it goes nowhere, they don't understand and so they can't make any changes. And it's gone on too long so I'm really angry, and it's tough to have a normal conversation with steam coming out of your ears!

over step's picture

I will admit I am a people pleaser and controlling. I have been working on putting me first and not taking care of things others should be doing. Plus I've started letting go of the little things that I can't or shouldn't control.

I still struggle with motivation. Lately I just don't feel like doing anything. My house has been a total disaster which is a big deal cuz I have always kept a very neat house. I have put on weight which I can't stay motivated to exercise.

over step's picture

I stand corrected. Smile Feels good too.

Hopefully in a couple months Puke will just decide to stop coming so disengagement will be a mute point.

over step's picture

Oh I won't stop. Besides I think I'm almost there. I care less and less every day. I only care for the entertainment value.

WTF...REALLY's picture

When I am feeling down, I just have a lot of extra sex with my hubby. Mood elevator, releases endorphins, relaxation, and makes me feel closer to him. Of course this is after a couple glasses of red wine. Smile bad mood all gone.