I can’t believe how the years have flown by. It’s almost 10 years ago that I came to Steptalk to vent regularly.. Now all my children are adults and out of the house. So now what do I have from all this with BM? A suitcase full of court documents, sitting in my closet collecting dust. My husband and I always thought we would save them to show SS, the truth. Needless to say he could care less what we went thru. Nor does have any desire to know the entire truth. He just thrives on what his mother has fed him his entire life.

I’m posting because I think of all the time sucked out this situation. The precious time sucked away by BM and her foolish games. I recently read thru some of the printed emails and I’m pretty proud of us, (my husband and I) on how we stayed focused. We never scooped down to her level and always made it about the kid. We said things like. “Please explain why you feel that way” just really staying focused and yes I did find an email where I called her a dumb skank, my bad. But a duck is a duck.
Very long exhausting story short, BM took us to court at every possible turn. Her jealous knew no bounds. So at the time of courts and custody, she was married to someone who had money and man did she love to spend it. Court, private school, Hummers, she wanted it all and boy she got it. She tried to outdo us at every turn. We estimate that her ex (no surprise there) spent about $65,000.00 between lawyers school and all the other shit BM wanted. She took away educational decision from us and the kids went to 3 schools in 4 years. Thanks to the ex, who kept dropping the money.

Well Karma’s a bitch, a way bigger bitch then me. BM’s husband left her high and dry. He sold the big house and hid his money. He took off to another state. So she landed up leaving SS to go live with her new BF, and mooch off another sucker. She has a drinking problem and eventually he send her back down south. She is now mooching off a friend. She can’t keep a job. I’m wondering if her jealously didn’t control her if she would still be married. SS was 20, when she left town and the beautiful boy we went thru hell for was not 10 years old anymore but 20. And his mother’s son
SS lived with us for awhile but it difficult. The smoking the attitude and the new friends and their ideals were not acceptable.

I was thinking about Steptalk , I met a lot of great women here and still friends with them on FB. Strong Stepmoms that just wanted the best, but had BM’s that only gave them heartache.. The only advice I could give is, don’t let it suck up your life and time. Deal with it but put it in a corner if you can. Focus on your own children. Don’t look at the child like BM spawn, (just kidding), look at them like a niece or nephew. You don’t have to love them like your own, but treat them with love and respect. Time flies and BM will be gone and you want to end up being the happy one. The situation you are in now will not last forever. The emails, phone, subpoenas will stop. Of course she will be lurking in the future but that is for your stepchild to deal with. I wish I had a better relationship with SS, maybe I should of ignored more then I did. I just wish I didn't waste so much time letting BM get to me. Be happy its the best revenge.