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I feel like I can move on now.

karenemoy's picture

So my back story is that I was once close to SS22 but a 1 and 1/2 we found about his drug addiction. I have not seen him in a year and SS22 was at a birthday party I threw for my husband this past weekend. He is been in a least 2 in-patient rehabs and several out patient rehab places in the past year or, including 2 sober living facilities. We have spent plenty of $ on his care over the years. He does not work. Claims he is will stay sober this time.

When I saw him this past weekend, I saw him for what he really is - a parasite - he never cared about me at all. And now since I no longer give him any money he really wants nothing to do with me.

Fine by me - because he is a creep and I want nothing to do with him.

I am actually relieved he looked "medicated" when he arrived, barely was able to say hello to me. Only asked me about stuff he could take out of the house.

I can say I am really done! I will no longer worry about him.


karenemoy's picture

Mustang 1 - yes my DH has also realized that. Makes him sad but he refuses to enable.

ThatGirl's picture

And this is the only way I'd be willing to start over with two of my skids. Funny thing is, SS19 is living in a sober living facility and supposedly going to two NA meetings a day, but hasn't come clean and apologized to us yet. I thought that was one of the steps encouraged through those meetings?

UsedUp's picture

Sounds like you have made the right decision. No one changes that doesn't want to no amount of rehab or money is going to change that. Sounds like you have gone above and beyond to try to help. All that rehab had to be expensive I know. I just don't have a soft spot for addicts. I am very open minded and really don't care what people do in their own time but personal responsibility is a must. These people who take it to the extreme (I know my ex wife was a drunk) are just not worth the time.

I have found even if they do sober up they just continue to manipulate only with a clear mind. Getting sober doesn't change the traits of the person sorry to say. That has to come from their desire to change and recognize what they are doing as wrong to others.

There are lots of good recovered addicts I know a few old friends that are but by and large I try to avoid addicts all together. They usually fall into that "nothing good can come from this" category so why even bother risking it. I have seen many a recovering/recovered addict fall off the wagon and wipe out the people trying to help them.