Chronologically age 12- maturity level age 6
I am getting so sick of the spoiled brat attitude SD12 (supposedly her biological age) is getting away with! Last night, we picked her and SD14 to take SD14 out for her birthday dinner. This weekend during the regular visitation, we will celebrate SD14’s birthday with presents, etc. Well, this year, she decided she wanted a peanut butter pie instead of a cake. No problem. I’ll make whatever they choose as their favorite. The problem is that SD12 doesn’t like peanut butter. Up until last night, she didn’t know about the pie. Until DH opened his big mouth…
Well, you would think the friggin world was ending. “I don’t like peanut butter!”, “It’s not fair!”, “Why does she get to pick something I don’t like?”, whine, whine, whine! :jawdrop: Of course, she thought it was ok that she picks a double chocolate cake for her birthday and SD14 isn’t big on chocolate, but that’s different in the little princess’s world. Whatever. I’m waiting for the email from BM saying that we can’t make the pie (guess who else doesn’t like peanut butter!)
Suffice to say, the rest of dinner was ruined by her bratty attitude and refusal to display any type of manners. She was sullen and pouting, wouldn’t pick out something to eat, wouldn’t talk, etc. Poor SD14 was getting ignored because Disney Dad kept trying to get the brat to interact. She was rude to the waitress and all in all, made it a miserable experience all around. And this is the second time she has acted like this, the first time being her own birthday earlier this year when she didn’t get her phone on her birthday, but would have to wait until the weekend (We only get them for 2 hours on their birthdays so there was no time to get one activated and go to dinner). I told DH that next time he can take them by himself. If he’s not willing to call her out on her attitude and rotten manners, I will not be going to dinner with her again anytime soon. }:)
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Comments
Believe me, she was. I'm
Believe me, she was. I'm dreading this weekend when we actually have the pie. I'm ok with getting her some plain chocolate ice cream, but there is no way I will make anything special for her since it's not her birthday.
No, I'll continue this, but I
No, I'll continue this, but I pointed out to her last night that what isn't fair is SD14 NOT getting what she wants on her birthday. That shut her up for a couple of minutes but then DH started trying to coddle her and the whole whining thing started again. Why couldn't he just leave well enough alone and let her pout? You can't force a child to be happy. :?
That's how i would LOVE to
That's how i would LOVE to handle it, but Disney Dad would have a fit. He doesn't want to do anything that could possibly make her not want to come for visitation (both parents gave her that power at the age of 8- stupid, I know). Personally, I would love it if she didn't want to come! }:)
Sound like my OSS he is 9 and
Sound like my OSS he is 9 and acts like a 3 year old. Does the same shit to YSS. It drives me fucking insane. I just posted a blog yesterday. LOL. I also told SO I will not do anything with OSS and if YSS wants to do things I will be over joyed to take him.
There's no way DH would do
There's no way DH would do that. He'd be afraid of being accused by BM of "starving" the little princess. He insists he stood in court one day where a judge told a father that he "had to provide something the child wanted to eat" rather than telling the child, "this is what is being served and if you don't like it you can wait until the next meal". Personally, I think DH is making up this because he doesn't actually want to parent.
And have DH accuse me of
And have DH accuse me of being mean and hurting her fee-fees? I'd never hear the end of it!
But it would be great to do!
WOW...we have the same life.
WOW...we have the same life. My SD12 acts like she is 6 too, and my SD14 acts like she is 25. SD12 has this howling/whining act that is like nails on a chalk board. You just can't believe it is coming out of a child that will be a teen in a few short months. Goes along with the bathing every 3-4 days and sleeping with her stuffed animal. I wish both her parents would go away for a couple of month and let me straighten her out }:) .Get a peanut butter cookbook and make all your family meals revolve around it!
I would love to do that! She
I would love to do that! She actually had a meltdown a month ago about cleaning her room and crawled under the bed sobbing. :jawdrop:
I feel your
I feel your frustration...
When my SS turned 12, DW and I took a lot of time and effort to make this a birthday party celebration to remember. I organized and ran all the party games. Egg toss, murder in the dark, soft drink pong, etc. All the kids had fun - that is - all the kids except SS. He didn't want to play any of the games and was moody and pouting most of the day. Even the friends he invited to his party were goading him "C'mon SS! What's your problem!? This game is lots of fun!"
Since that day, all future SS parties resulted in me refusing to do anything special for SS's birthday. My contribution to SS's birthday entails picking up the cake from the bakery and signing the birthday card, and even then I don't see the point in me doing that as SS isn't big on cake and doesn't bother opening the cards...
I haven't the foggiest idea.
I haven't the foggiest idea.
And the worst part about it, if you ask SS, he has his own version about what happened that day. He says he had a great time that day. DW managed to get a grand total of 3 camera shots with SS in it because SS didn't want to have his picture taken that day either. You should see the 3 photos DW did manage to take of SS, I've seen trouts with a happier looking smile.
Good question. I think like
Good question. I think like most of us here on STalk we've learned to not get too emotionally invested in the skid because we know that we are never going to love them and they in turn are never going to accept us. The love of my wife and our two bios is enough for me.
I don't mind making the
I don't mind making the cake/pie because I like to bake and anything I make will taste better than what DH would buy (yes, I'm bragging a little!). I refuse to do anything else though. I won't buy a card or gifts. I did that the first couple of years and saw them either be thrown in a closet or taken to BM's. No more. Let DH waste his time and effort.
This is exactly what I do,
This is exactly what I do, the more my SS gets older, the less and less I do for him. I was all "gung ho" too with the birthdays and the special celebrations at first. Especially at the beginning of our relationship. I took this kid out to movies, the amusement park, bought him toys, ice cream, etc.
What did I get in return?
I wish I could say "nothing" because I would have been happy with "nothing". "Nothing" doesn't make me feel bad, frustrated or wondering if I am cut out to be a step-parent. "Nothing" to me means just that. NOTHING. Oh but no, instead I get bucket-loads of tears, whining, crying, pouting, complaints, and attitude like I had pissed in this boy's cereal...
back then kids were expected
back then kids were expected to respect their elders. Kids nowadays are "speshul snowflakes" and given a trophy for participating
I feel your pain. I have a
I feel your pain. I have a SS15 who still acts like he's pushing 6.
So wait...your DH did not
So wait...your DH did not tell her to zip her mouth and that is was SD's birthday and not hers?
This is more of a DH problem.
Oh, I am very aware of where
Oh, I am very aware of where the problem is. That's why I'm refusing to go to anymore dinners until he starts correcting her. I really don't enjoy dinners with them anyway becasue of there lack of manners. It will bother him more that I refuse to go than if I just try to point things out.
i hear ya rutherford. yss11
i hear ya rutherford. yss11 acts the same way. he pouted all during dh's birthday dinner and fathers day dinner. my guess was he was pissed he wasnt sitting next to or directly across from daaaddyyyyyyyyyyy. the rest of us just carried on as normal and had an enjoyable dinner.
even dh said the other day that he's got the mentality of a 6 y.o. (my opinion is more of a 3 y.o.....)
I actually made her sit
I actually made her sit across from Daaddyyyy so I wouldn't have to look at her pouty attitude.