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For those whose CS has ended

just.his.wife's picture

Entertain me/us: What was BM's reaction after the last payment hit and she knew she wasn't getting another time?

With all the crap going on here I could use a few good entertaining stories of BM's getting shut down hard.

Comments

StickAFork's picture

Um, she immediately filed for (and GOT) a bunch of extra expenses, continued insurance, graduation costs, college costs, medical bills, and...well, it's only been a year, so we'll see what's next!

It hasn't turned out the way I hoped it would!

newsmom's picture

:jawdrop: Oh my gosh. I didn't even know they could get such things...I thought 18 was it. Crap.

windee's picture

No, in some states CS doesn't stop at 18, it stops when they hit 24 (I believe) if they are going full time to school. I thought that it ended when my son turned 18 and it didn't b/c he was going to college full time. It can go on full alot longer.

Still Have Hope's picture

When first skid reached 18 BM suggested that CS be continue since skids was still living with BM. DH said not he would not continue CS then suggested skid get a job since she wasn't in school. Skid moved in with boyfriend shortly thereafter. With last skid BM called DH and suggested that the amount he was paying in CS be given to skid as an allowance while she was at college. BM's exact words were "for pizza money" What college kid needs over $1000 a month for spending? DH gave her a reasonable allowance until she was expelled for drug use.
BM and her SO held various parttime jobs if employed at all for the 16 years DH paid $2000 a month in CS. BM got a minimum wage job the month before CS ended. Her SO still sits at home without a job 2 years later. Guess now she know how it feels to support a lazy bum.

giveitago's picture

We paid child support even though we had custody of the kids, yeah...I know! We could afford it and were not going without anything and the kids were 11 years old and happy to be with us. We bought a house large enough to acommodate all of us and DH went to pick SD up from her mother. SD tells us later that her mom told her 'that bastard is not going to pay me any more money.' I was not there at the time but I would have loved to have seen her face! Money is her GOD!
I have to commend DH for telling her, he was far more diplomatic than I would be!

borrowedtime83's picture

I don't have a story about a BM and child support, but I do have one about a crazy not-so-little family that belongs to my EX, BD5's father, and a tale about a crazy grandmother, faced with having to support her own kids at the age of 45. PGM (paternal grandmother) started having kids at the age of 19, and had her last kid at 40, for a total of 6 children, 4 different fathers paying her CS. She had not worked most of her life, and blew money on all sorts of frivolous things. When her first kids left the house, my ex and his older sister, who had a child, she tried to get custody of the sister's child. Then she had her mother (grandma) try to get custody of the child later, and by then the sister had 2 kids, and didn't get it. She then was forced to get a part-time job, which she went through about 15 of them before getting a section 8 townhouse and collecting assistance for both her adult children who were not living with her. The next two kids left home, and she got desperate. She then tried to say that I was an unfit mother when her son and I broke up, and that didn't work. All these lies and deceit just to try to get more state assistance and child support from HER OWN CHILDREN/"IN-LAWS". She then resorted to claiming all 4 kids who were moved out, plus me and my daughter on her fraudulent state assistance scheme. She got in trouble, got caught, and ended up having to pay restitution to the state. She still doesn't really work, she has a "Business partner" and they have a "company" she works at about 5 hours a week...hint,hint. I know it's not the kind of story you were lookin' for and a bit long, but figured it was interesting at least.

dontcallmestepmom's picture

I am also waiting to see what happens...

Ours ended less than a month ago. This was BM's sole source of income, as she refuses to work. The "kids" are 19, 20, and 23. Two live at home, one of whom works 25 hours max a week. She refuses to pay any kind of rent or help out at all. The other one finally graduated, but he won't work. One of them lives there on and off, and he does not work, either. The only one in the home working full-time is BM's aunt (who owns the house), who we hear is getting sick of all the mooching. We have been warned that the skids will be knocking on our door. They will NEVER live here, and they have been told that, but they do not listen, so I do expect the knock.

I expected calls or even "visits" by BM, but she has not said one word. She told a family member that she is pissed and "DH should just keep paying." The only thing that is happening is there are more hints for things from the skids-his daughter broke her computer in a rage and wants a new one. One son has been hinting for a cell phone. I really do not see them ever working. They only contact DH when they want money (he does not give it), and now I cannot imagine what is going on in the house.

B22S22's picture

My DH still has a couple of years. However, I know deep down in my gut that the BM will file for college expenses or something just to keep it rolling in. BM hasn't worked since before the SK's were born, so why start now, right?? The only thing that makes me even slightly hopeful that she won't file for college expenses is that typically the judge does 1/3, 1/3, 1/3 (DH, BM, skid). Hell, she doesn't even want to buy them GLASSES because she doesn't want to spend money on them, so I hope she doesn't want to risk having to pay college tuition either.

It's going to be ugly all the way around. The SK's have never worked a day in their lives (and I'm talking not around the house, not in the yard, NOTHING). Obviously inherited maternal genes there.

B22S22's picture

The SK's don't live with us full time, they're only here on weekends. Do you mean who does the housework at the BM's house? I'm not sure, but the way it sounds, her DH does it. And he works. And he does all the outside work. And he's taken on a HUGE remodelling project in their house.

In OUR house, I expect every single person who spends a night in a bed here to contribute. That's one of the reasons they don't like me... because I have rules and expectations. They are expected to keep their bedroom clean (that's it!!! they come here for the weekend and stay in their bedroom).

Their stepdad was telling my DH and I one time that when they were in the process of moving (which, by the way, that entire time the SK's were here... not helping with moving furniture and boxes to their new house) he had asked the SK's to unpack the boxes in their rooms. They went for DAYS not unpacking so the stepdad finally had to unhook the wireless router and lock it in his truck. That resulted in the BM yelling at him.

Funny, it sounds like the stepdad and I (try to) hold the SK's accountable. Too bad the bioparents won't.

LRP75's picture

It never occurred to me to think she could take my H in for more after they turn 18. holy shit my heart just sank in my bowels.

the_stepmonster's picture

BSC (bat shit crazy) signed over custody of the girls in April willingly since they were already living with their grandmother at that point. I guess she didn't realize no kids meant no money. When she didn't get her CS check she started calling DH and leaving messages that claimed he "tricked" her into signing the papers and how he was taking all her money. When she has the girls now (on the rare occasion she exercises her visitation) if the girls ask her to take them out to eat or anything she will blatantly tell them "Your father needs to take you to eat because he took all my money." She is going to get an even bigger wake up call when we actually take her to court CS in the fall, assuming she gets a real job of course.

just tired's picture

We still have 4 more years of CS to Satan's Minion. And I suspect that when it finally ends, all hell will break loose. The only thing she has to hold over DH's head is YSD, and when that trump card is no longer available, it will absolutely KILL her to no longer have something to hold over his head. She'll try....but there won't be anything.

She will no longer be able to send YSD to us saying "Mom wants to know why you never have any money to pay her more than CS....I feel so sorry for Mom....she has to pay for everything for me! Why can't you pay more than you're supposed to so it won't be so hard on her???"

No....we're not dealing with PAS at our house at all. :O

LRP75's picture

sounds like to the type of crap that goes on over here. BM gets $1k per month - and she tells the skids that their electricity is being shut off because, "their father doesn't pay as much as he should." Or, my personal favorite is when she tells the skid, that their baby brother, "doesn't have any diapers because your dad doesn't pay as much in support as he should." The baby is question is the child of the man she is *currently* married to, not my husbands child. Soooo.... yeah.

mama_althea's picture

I'm also a BM and every month when I receive a CS check, I picture Ex's wife grimacing and counting down how many are left as she writes out the check (several days late). 24 months left to go, and I admit I'm panicking slightly. I work full-time, but don't make a whole lot, even with a bachelor's degree and a nice job. I have saved $0 over the years, and trust me, I do not spend frivolously. My clothes are either thrift store or clearance. We have a modest house and car. Vacations are camping or at relatives. There were times when my kids were still in day care where I did the math and thought I might be better off living off welfare than working full-time and paying full-price for day care, health insurance, utilities, groceries. Meanwhile, Ex makes 6 figures, travels extensively, has nice everything. I'm not saying this as a poor me pity party...just saying, this is why I hope he will still pay for some stuff when CS is over. I won't take him to court, but I do hope he won't feel like July 2014 is the magic time when DD doesn't deserve a dime. Then again, CS is his main involvement as a parent, so I doubt he'll be feeling any sort of motivation to help her out.

Things should be looking up financially since as of the last 2 1/2 years, SO and I have been living together. But they're not. He can't make as much in this economy and his CS is based upon what he should be making, not on what he does make. Also, he pays for 2 kids and 1 now lives with us. It's too risky for him to go back to court because BM previously declined alimony (yes, we're in one of those states) based on what she was receiving in CS, and he can't take the chance of her now being awarded alimony instead. SS will be 18 in just under 2 years, so it will drop then, which is better than her potentially receiving alimony for a long ass time. Anyway, most of what he makes is eaten up by CS, so we're not really any better off with 2 incomes.

So as a SM, I'll be happy when CS drops to 1 kid in less than 2 years. I don't think BM has thought ahead that far or there's not way she would have signed off on no alimony. Yes, I am expecting some big fallout. Maybe she will have overdosed or something by then. Oooh, I can't believe I just said that. Usually I only think it...

Hanny's picture

It will be this October. But SO will continue spending that money on skid, just not through BM. In fact, it will cost him even more a month since he will be splitting her $1,400 housing at college and then half of college and give her some spending money. What I want to know, WTF ever happened with a kid being responsible for their own college. And BTW I do like the 1/3/1/3/1/3. I agree with whatever judge did this, because the skid should have to be responsible for soemthing, even if it a student loan that they will pay back later. I had 5 step sons in my previous marriage, and 3 of them graduated, 1 with a masters and all paid for their entire educations. did not even expect their dad to pay for it. these kids have got to grow up.

hippiegirl's picture

We (dh & I) celebrated on the day of his last payment. It was a wonderful feeling to know that our money would from now on stay where it belongs. In our account and spent on our kids.