You are here

Update on BM who passed away on mothers day

Just54321's picture

Soooo...what a long 2 weeks it has been!!

BM died mothers day and crazy grandma held services Tues, Wed and Thurs. Drew it out as long as she could to suck the sympathy out of any who were foolish enough to give it to her. Kids had to attend great granpa funeral and part one of BM's all on Tuesday. It was a tough week for them. I also got a pretty deep glimpse into the life and people the skids have been around up until this point. All were nice but they were definitely part of the white trash culture. It's going to be a culture shock for them to live with us and in this area. But it also let me see how with SS16 especially, how he can so easily have no aspirations. The bar is pretty low in his eyes for what is considered success.

Skids did well at services, we kept them away from crazy grandma as much as we could, not that she tried to speak to them or anything. She is a wretched person.

WE did get am estate lawyer and sadly had to take the skids right to the courthouse after the last portion of their mothers services but we did get them protected as far as their mothers estate. When we finally were able to get the back to their mothers house (which crazy grandma had the locks changed on a few weeks ago) we see that crazy grandma STOLE from their dead mothers home...the flat screen TV, the lawn mower, the snow blower and the safe with all of the mothers important papers and cash. We filed charges against her pathetic A$$ at the skids request. Grandma also turned their phones off last week on them so I had to get them up and running, which I did in an hour so score for Just!!

We also told the skids they would be moving in with DH and I this summer and going to a new school next year. They aren't happy about it but we are working through it. SS16's grades are really bad from this past year...I heard murmurs from the new schools guidance department he may have to go to summer school, ugh he will be a terror after that news.

The in-laws have been fantastic about dealing with the skids on the day to day and we have them with us every weekend and DH sees them on Wednesdays. SD15 is rearing her nasty teen attitude to MIL which DH is going to be discussing with her this weekend and SS16 is sometimes moody about moving and the loss of his driving permit (the state we live in you has different driving laws then where he is now)I think it's all still sinking in with them. I think it's going to get worse before it gets better but at least my eyes are open for it.

Our counselor told DH that he needs to be the disciplinarian not me so I am anxious to see how that goes...he still has that guilty dad mentality.

Lots to do over the summer to get ready...I'm sure I will be venting A LOT once they are here full time. It's pretty much just been DH and our fur babies. This will be a big change.

Comments

Tuff Noogies's picture

i got nothin' but hugs for you. this is a whole lot to take on and it will not be easy. any plans for therapy?

Just54321's picture

both skids already in therapy. One here on the weekends and the other will get a new therapist once moved.

Just54321's picture

Oh we have been going since OCTOBER!! waaay before this started. Thank goodness b/c if we weren't I would have been loooong gone by now.

Just54321's picture

Living with in-laws since April. Moving in with us this summer...TBD exact dates. We gave them the option of staying in their state for part of the summer but both know they have to be in our state by August 1st.

WOB...I really enjoy your blog but also fear for my life that SS16 will be ASS the next few years...good luck and hope he is out as soon as you hope.

lintini's picture

Sending you lots of hugs. I hope things go okay for you all during this difficult time. **hugs**

mommadukes2015's picture

Oh my goodness. I am so sorry for you guys. Their one grandmother sounds like a piece of work.

As far as being the disciplinarian goes, my cousin is in the same boat. Her SO has "skimmed" the surface of parenting, relying heavily on his ex wife to manage/run the household and kids which she has fallen short of (I've known the family for my whole life). Now that he's in a new situation, she expects him to discipline his children as they are living in her house and she makes the rules. The biggest problem she has run into is consistency-he just doesn't follow through with what he says. So she's been supporting him and directing him behind the scenes but he's the one who delivers the rules and consequences to his children. He may struggle, but you can certainly guide him or help him remember what he said he'd do or not do while he gets his footing. I hope that helps you navigate this.