My SD59 was here today.  DH83 has her come over about once a week to help with gardening and housework.  It's a way he can legitimize the $ he gives her.  She's a hairdresser, so she also cuts his hair.  Plus, he wants to see her in person to monitor how she's doing.  I have been disengaged from her for about 4 years due to the theft, lying, drug use and hell she put us through during a 10- month stay.

My body goes into anxiety alert whenever she comes.  In the past, she has caused so much trouble between us.  First thing I do is hide my purse.  Second is to store any personal paperwork.  I count the minutes until she leaves.

She was originally supposed to come yesterday but after a phone spat with DH, she cancelled.  This led to two texts relaying her side of the exchange to which I replied, "see you tomorrow".   Today, she was supposed to be here at 11 with her haircutting bag.   After a couple calls with DH, she finally arrived about noon but had forgotten her hair tools.  I started to make myself busy as she and he discussed that omission.

First task was cleaning our ceiling fans.  Meanwhile, I could hear her giving her latest litany of medical issues.  I felt that was a good time to get on the phone to have DH's medical records sent to a new doctor.  Thankfully, that was a long, laborious bureaucratic hassle.  So, whenever she started in on another topic, I could either point to the phone in my hand or change the topic about how the procedure was going.  That was good for over half an hour.

Then they went outside for awhile, that was good.  But the rain drove them back in.  While he did something else, she started telling me how she'd looked up YSS53 on some background checking site.  She has always been jealous that YSS is DH's fave.  "Don't tell dad, but.....".  I said, " Yes, but the less we know about it all, the better".  "Don't tell dad" translates as "I want dad to know this dirt but I dont want him to realize im trying to narc on YSS".  

We decided to have lunch so I was glad to go pick it up, that meant another 20 minutes away.  While we ate, more stupid babble but the end was in sight.  Afterwards, I went to the living room and did more busy paperwork.  She regaled us with more discussion of the injustices of the bank, government and medical profession.

She left awhile ago but will ( maybe) be back tomorrow for the haircut.  I'm exhausted, feel like I've dodged the minefield.