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Make it stop

Jlbfinch's picture

DH and I had our twins last month. He went back to work already, my kids went for an extended vacation with their grandma, and so it's just me, the babies, and SS8 at home all day. SS8 is clearly having issues. For one he's bored out of his mind (which I do feel sorry for him bc the babies take up so much of time) but I also think he's struggling with the changes to our family. Unfortunately it's presenting itself as him talking in the most annoying baby voice you could ever imagine. He was starved for attention yesterday by the time his dad got home from work and permanently attached himself to DH's side and talked his ear off in the baby voice all evening long. I ended up leaving the room bc I couldn't take it anymore. By the time I left the room DH was holding one of our twins talking to them and making funny faces at them and SS8 was literally rolling around on the floor wrapped in a blanket loudly saying "wah wah wah look at me, I'm a baby too, change my diaper!" I was cringing!! I am taking the babies to visit family on Saturday and leaving SS8 to have some much needed uninterrupted time with DH, and also giving my blood pressure and ears a break from all his baby talk.

Comments

hereiam's picture

What is your husband doing about his son's behavior? I understand how he must be feeling but he needs to understand that he's not a baby and his acting like one is inappropriate.

Jlbfinch's picture

Last night was by far the worst and I'm sure it's bc we were coming off of an unexpected two night hospital stay due to one of our LOs getting sick and needing surgery. SS8 missed two evenings with DH he is used to having so DH was being extra tolerable. Usually he will only indulge him for a few minutes and then say something like "I can't understand a word you're saying dude, speak in your real voice please."

stepmomof1biomomof1's picture

Do you have full custody of SS? Could grandmother not have taken both of them?

Is there not anyone that can take SS during the day? A camp?

Jlbfinch's picture

I wish I would have insisted that he do some kind of summer program to get him out of my hair, he had an open invitation from my mom to go stay with her when my kids did but he didn't want to, nor does he ever want to spend the night with my MIL or play with neighbor kids when they're out in the evening. He just wants to be up his dads ass any chance he gets.

Jlbfinch's picture

My kids are the same and they are 6 and 8. We are also middle class suburbia. My six year old hasn't lost her training wheels yet but she is fast enough to keep up with DD8 on her scooter. Unfortunately my SS8 can't ride a bike or a scooter and won't even think of leaving the front porch if there's not a bunch of other kids out already. It's a failure on my husband's part, he's an indoors computer guy who doesn't see much value in kicking kids outside to explore.

Jlbfinch's picture

SS8 doesn't even have a bike, he outgrew the one he never learned how to ride. So first SS8 would have to show an interest in learning and then DH would have to go buy him a new bike and invest time teaching him. I don't see it happening anytime soon.

jmh302's picture

Maybe get the kid a video game if he is an indoor kid.

I have a set of twins and i refused to watch sd after they were born. I barely had a chance to shower, i was not going to entertain another kid.

I felt horrible already about the twins always feeling like one was being neglected almost because i had to tend to the other first.

I decided it was not my problem if sd was bored. We lived in a pretty closed community and the feild where the kids played was directly in front of my house. Sd refused to play with the kids outside. I literally told her one summer day i did watch her that she was to go play with the kids or by herself with any of her outside toys but i was not going to let her mope or talk baby voice.

She chose to sit on the steps moping that she was bored.

We trired hard to talk up all the things she could do as a big kid to stop some of the baby regression

Jlbfinch's picture

Thank you, it's been a bit of a rough ride but we're getting the hang of things! BM is around but her only full days are Mondays and every other Sunday. All other days SS8 is guaranteed to be at our house until at least 4pm.

stepkate's picture

I'm pregnant now, and ooooohmigawd I couldn't imagine a step kid barging in on my bonding time with my baby. I thought everyone knows caring for a newborn is one of the most exhausting things on the planet; why BM and DH would throw another kid on top is crazy to me. I'm just trying to imagine finally getting an hour of sleep only to be woken up by stepkid demanding to be fed or being annoying for attention.