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Well its happening - mini pity party below

ICanMakeIt's picture

Summer with SKs has begun. We haven't seen them since Christmas thanks to Covid. 

SS has made the turn...Its not full fledge PAS but he is so guarded and 100% Mom-centric. There is not an equal parenting respect. Thats not to say he's a bad kid, just acts like DH is a fun uncle he sees once in a while vs. Dad, if that makes sense.

DH has fought for these kids forever. We have made epic trips when money was tight, and valuable vacation time ONLY spent on picking and dropping off and driving half way across the country. 

All for this...this lack of warmth...this lack of depth. It's so disheartening.

This is the kid I was worried about was depressed. He's not, he's just been taught and repeated "what happens in our state stays here vice versa". Kid doesn't seem to understand he is allowed to tell us he likes a girl or has a friend or had any kind of expereince ever. Its like he is so awkward and uncomforable talking about anything of substance out of fear. 

I'm sad for DH and I'm pissed at BM and the whole situation....I'm kinda dreading the rest of Summer break now.

SD is still a spitfire and good as gold....loves dad unapologetically. Maybe we can save one. 


BethAnne's picture

Hopefully he will relax a bit as the summer progresses. Sometimes it is easy to want to get all the updates at once but kids tend to drip feed information over time.

I think it is partly due to kids being self-centered. So in a normal conversation with another adult that you haven't seen in a while there is a back and forth. You tell them some news, they share some of their news, that reminds you of something that happened to you and you ask for their advice on know a normal two way conversation. But kids don't view thier parents as individuals until they are older and don't think to ask them about thier lives and days so that back and forth doesn't happen. This means that the catch up conversations can feel more like an interrogation to them. This is my theory. 

ICanMakeIt's picture

I appreciate your response. I agree, I think it may have seemed like interrogation, which we are always careful not to do. We just were asking about big things like why he hadn't shared the news he got his 1st car, we had to hear from little sis. That seemed weird you wouldn't have told us prior to us showing up at meeting spot and you being in it. We were super excited for him but just asked why he didn't think to tell dad. 

JRI's picture

It might just be that teenage boy reticence about discussing personal matters?  Especially if he hadn't been over for awhile.