It was a relatively easy going weekend but with some realizations for DH regarding SS.

1st he saw a couple things on SS phone that led him to question if SS may not be interested in girls and while that is totally fine, it leads to more questions on if this could be why SS is so "loneresque", has no friends, feels like he is pulling away from DH more than what already was occuring over the years with PAS and BM. DH flat out asked him prior to seeing this on the phone if SS is uncomfortable with DH asking him about going to dances, if he has a girlfriend, etc on the phone and then finally if he  likes boys. SS said "I don't care about gender". (surmising convo).

2nd SS specifically left me out of the I love yous at the end of a discussion/evening. When DH asked, he didn't correct himself. He's always been a lovey dovey kid and included me, so this was a minor yet major thing. I told DH he's entitled to his feelings he doesn't have to love me (said in front of SS) but DH was bothered by this and SS could definately tell.

3rd DH admitted to me privately he feels he's lost SS and he isn't " his kid "-meaning he didn't get to help shape him, etc. as much as he would have liked to and now is frustrated with the person SS has become. (He's a good kid, just lazy, not motivated, etc.).

DH almost seems to be building a wall of defense preparing for SS to PAS all the way out. 

I am heartbroken for DH and we only have 11 days left till kids go back.  I keep vascilating between going and doing extra awesome stuff these last few days or just completely folllowing DH's lead and disengaging. 

I did disengage yesterday to the extent of only speaking to SS when he spoke to me and letting DH do all interaction - " DH can you let SS know its time to get showered and ready for bed" kind of interactions. 

Sometimes I do wonder how different SS would have been if DH had more time and influence. 

UGH steplife is emotionally draining.