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Feeling Used?

Doubletakex3's picture

There seems to be a prevailing theme on this board that many of the DH, FDHs, SOs, etc. benefit significantly from the financial contributions of their partner. I wonder if this leads anyone to feeling used? If you don't feel used, do you sometimes wonder if your partner stays with you simply because they (and skids) wouldn't have the same lifestyle without you in their life?

I'm sensitive to this issue as a result of my own past (my ex specifically claimed he stayed with me the last few years only because he benefited financially). I've been told that I place too much value on money and financial security so I'm trying to be objective. I've also been told that I'm generous to a fault. I vascillate between paranoia and guilt for even entertaining the thoughts.

I am alone in this quandary?

Auteur's picture

Same here. After they take out CS and taxes here in the "great" state of NY, GG (biodad I live with) doesn't have enough for a cardboard box. I would be better off living with a paper boy (childless of course; less drama)

And of course there are ZERO food/clothing/shelter programs for biodads with crushing CS obligations. . .GG makes $15 an hour and the smallest amount he would ever have to pay (having three kids) is $200 a week, net. Society just figures they'll move in with their mom or dad or a sugar SM.