Thanks for embarrassing me, DH
My mom and sister have been visiting since Thursday and SD stayed the night on Friday and Saturday. My mom loves all kids and was glad to see her. My mom has also been sleeping with the baby every night in SD's room so DH and I can rest and enjoy time and my mom absolutely loves it. SD and my sister have been sleeping in the living room because we our spare room is now the nursery.
So SD shows up tonight about 630 and was asking for help with homework and only had a picture of the problem on her phone but no physical book with examples or a notebook to write down problems. My mom tried to help her but didn't know how because SD wasn't even writing anything down and I refused because there was no physical work!
Long story short, SD ended up going to her room and playing on the computer with her friend and at almost 9pm, I could tell my mom was ready to go to sleep. I asked DH if he was going to make my mom sleep on the couch or if he was going to make SD leave her room because my mom had been sleeping in there. DH yells at SD to go out to the living room so my mom could go to bed and SD tells him he's supposed to take her home at 845.
DH then gets onto SD about why did BM even allow her to come over on a school night without her work if he was just going to have to take her home and that's why he asked her (the minor child) to come up with a schedule. SD then gets clammy and says BM won't talk to her about it and shuts down. How about this, DH: FOLLOW THE FUDGING CO BECAUSE OTHERWISE BM AND SD WILL ALWAYS DICTATE THE "SCHEDULE" AND INCONVENIENCE YOU!!
I walked away and came to our room to go to bed and my mom told me to calm down and just let DH handle it. DH has been great with our baby and with SD, he just doesn't give a crap and she knows it. She was even asking me annoying questions about my baby and saying things like "why is she so small"'- the baby is almost 9lbs and other annoying things that just make me want her to go the F away.
I am not going to argue with DH tonight but when our company leaves tomorrow, DH is getting a piece of my mind. These random drop ins are going to be the death of me and even though I am focusing on my baby, this shite needs to stop.
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Comments
Babe is still fairly young,
Babe is still fairly young, right?
I'd chalk it up to a whole lot of hormones. While he shouldn't be letting SD dictate a schedule and he should be more in the loop, you're also dealing with a baby and postpartum emotions run high. Focus on things related to your stepdaughter ONLY when they call for it - like her being in the room your mom was supposed to sleep in. But end your focus there. Your DH handled that issue and that was the right thing for him to do.
There is a weird frustration and territorial rage that comes with stepkids when you've just had a baby. I experienced it. Most stepmoms I know experience it. It happens. Focus on her as minimally as possible and keep your interactions kind and polite. If something is annoying you, stop for a moment and think about how it directly impacts you. Only act when it does.
Hope all is well with the baby. It's an incredible time - enjoy it. You've heard it before but it really does go by too fast. My little one is already 15 months and I cry thinking about how fast it went by. You're so lucky your mom is helping you the way she is. That's lovely.
xo
Why isn't your mom sleeping
Why isn't your mom sleeping in the nursery with the baby instead of taking over SD's room?
???
I'm not seeing how DH
I'm not seeing how DH embarrassed you? Because he let SD walk all over him, again, like always? And it happened to be in front of your mom and sister who likely know that this is how DH acts?
Feel free to give him a piece of your mind for the thousandth time, but what exactly do you think it's going to solve? He knows the issues, and he doesn't care. All you're doing is stressing yourself out over a situation that won't change.
Also, you're saying that he is stepping up with the baby. How exactly? Your mom is there taking care of the baby at night, and I'm assuming your sister is helping you throughout the day while DH works. I'm sure he is changing a diaper here and there, but the real test isn't when you have people helping and distracting you. It's when they are gone and you're on your own with him.