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SD at it again

I love dogs's picture

Submitted by I love dogs on Tue, 05/29/2018 - 6:43pm

My cousin, 16, is in town and she and SD became really good friends this winter break. This cousin, my aunt's daughter, lives in another state and just got here to visit for a month until the 4th of July.

I am out shopping and missed a call from SD. She then texts me asking if cousin can "come over". It is BM's week so I text back saying that my aunt hasn't said anything to me and that she has summer camp with her mom this week.

She texts back, upset, that she asked her MOM and DAD and my aunt is bringing cousin to my house at 6. Again, I am out and about and no one asked me, just assumed that I'd be ok with it. Sorry, SD, don't make plans on my time when your dad isn't home and expect me to accomodate. I am making dinner and don't have time for that. Very frustrated right now and need some window shopping therapy. 

I also just found out that I am 5.5 weeks pregnant and, honestly, I'm embarrassed to say that it is making me feel less "motherly" to SD, even though that's been cooking for awhile now.

Yes, I could've gone home to wait for them but I called my aunt with no answer so F them all. I hope mommy and daddy can fix this for SD.

Comments

twoviewpoints's picture

Submitted by twoviewpoints on Tue, 05/29/2018 - 7:10pm

I would think since it's BM's week and the cousin is staying at Aunt's house, that the two women can make their plans leaving you and your house out of it.

Let the girls get together at BM's or Aunt's. Go abut your day , cook your already planned dinner and ignore them all. You're under no obligation to host SD on BM's week. None when Dad isn't going to be home on non-Dad weeks and with that of course Dad should consult before inviting two girls over for the evening (even if one is his own kid). 

Congrats on the pregnancy. 

I love dogs's picture

Submitted by I love dogs on Tue, 05/29/2018 - 7:44pm

Apparently SD talked to my cousin, BM, and DH. DH is extremely busy at worked and ASKED if I planned to see aunt and cousin because SD wants to see them. I said no because I planned to cook dinner and relax. My aunt still hasn't called me over an hour later. Not my problem, it isn't our week with SD and, frankly, I don't want to see her.

Thank you! I am incredibly nervous and I don't think it'll feel real until the first ultrasound.

momjeans's picture

Submitted by momjeans on Wed, 05/30/2018 - 8:34am

You're under no obligation to host SD on BM's week. None when Dad isn't going to be home on non-Dad weeks and with that of course Dad should consult before inviting two girls over for the evening (even if one is his own kid). 

All. Of. This. 

And congratulations, I love dogs!

Now, more than EVER, is the perfect time to disengage from SD. Not saying completely, but enough to make yourself a top priority. It’s absolutely necessary for your overall health. SD has two parents to make arrangements, to entertain her, to be her taxi and her maid. DISENGAGE.

StepUltimate's picture

Submitted by StepUltimate on Tue, 05/29/2018 - 8:02pm

Very exciting news. I pray you have a healthy wonderful pregnancy, household harmony, and support from your DH during this time. Miracles in the works!!

I love dogs's picture

Submitted by I love dogs on Tue, 05/29/2018 - 8:13pm

I am still in shock! I told my mom and she won't stop talking about it lol not telling anyone else until at least 12 weeks.

classyNJ's picture

Submitted by classyNJ on Wed, 05/30/2018 - 8:41am

CONGRATULATIONS!!!  I am so happy for you!  

Don't stress and take care of you.

As far as SD not including you, then ignore, ignore!

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Submitted by ProbablyAlready... on Wed, 05/30/2018 - 9:10am

Congrats!!!! That's exciting for you!!! 

Sorry your SD is being ridiculous. She should be consulting with you, and shouldn't EVER expect you to take care of everything.

beebeel's picture

Submitted by beebeel on Wed, 05/30/2018 - 9:19am

Deep breaths. This girl is going to really ramp it up when she learns you're pregnant. That's when my sd went from mildly inconsiderate to absolutely intolerable. She started acting out in huge ways, causing drama and distress whenever possible. 

My advice: don't tell her until you can't explain that bump in any other way. Your dh is going to want to tell her way too soon. DO NOT LET HIM. 

I went through a miscarriage before I had my son and it was the absolute worst. My skids were terrible about it and it is still hard not to blame them for all the stress and sleepless nights they caused me. My dh told them I was pregnant, even after I begged him not to, and the result was living with two people who said NOTHING, not a fucking word, about what I was going through when I lost the pregnancy. I was bleeding out in the tub and dh left my side to check on his daughter because she had just threatened "suicide" two weeks beforehand. 

My skids started refusing to come here on dh's weeks when our son was barely six months old. I wouldn't be surprised if your sd decided to reject her father for daring to have another child as well.

StepMamaBear6's picture

Submitted by StepMamaBear6 on Wed, 05/30/2018 - 10:07pm

Did you have "BabyFace"?  Just trying to see if you are who I think you are?  I am bugged by babies and my little girl is almost 8 months!!!

beebeel's picture

Submitted by beebeel on Thu, 05/31/2018 - 8:53am

"Baby Face" is now a full blown toddler face. He just turned 2 if you can believe it. I can't! Wink

jamesmartin456's picture

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