O/T: FDH A Little Overprotective, of Me
So I bought my car last year from the same dealer that my mother has always purchased her cars from. We trust the dealer, the cars last out all other family vehicles, and we have a friendly relationship with the guys at the service center.
There is one particular service guy who has been helping me ever since I bought my new car. He wanted to buy my old car from me, but unfortunately we couldn't work out a deal. At the time, he met FDH.
Well, I took my car in for the first major service last month (I drive A LOT), and he gave me a huge discount. He's always been very professional, and I've always been very friendly (I ask about his son, because he has pictures of him all over his desk). Then a week or two ago I got a call from someone asking me to do an oral survey of the service center. I did. The next day that guy called me. He thanked me for the high marks on the survey and asked me to fill out an online survey as well. He was a little chatty and mentioned that he was calling me on his cell and that he was off work. I thought it was a little odd, but I filled out the survey and left it at that. I told FDH about it, and he was annoyed. Apparently, he thought the guy was weird when he met him.
Well, yesterday morning I got a text from this guy asking me how my day was going and oh by the way have you filled out that survey yet. I said I'd filled it out, but I could do it again if it didn't go through. He asked me how my day was. I said I was working, but I would fill out the survey later. He then said "You are awesome. You deserve a reward." Okay, what? I didn't respond.
I told FDH about it last night. He was really, really upset. I knew he'd be a little pissed, but I didn't expect that. He made me feel like a child. He started off on, "You don't understand. He has all your information. He knows where you live. He could have a key to your car. Hell, he could have a tracker on your car. You don't know what some people are capable of. Are you willing to take that chance?"
What? I told him that, okay, sure, that was in the realm of possibility, but I found it more likely that the guy was just making a pass at me and was too much of a wuss to do it in person so he was using this whole survey excuse.
FDH said it probably wasn't this guy's first time using this survey excuse. He said he was going to call the dealership and report him for unprofessional conduct. This freaked me out because both my mother and I have gone there for years, and those guys talk. They've always helped us in the past, and I don't want to be responsible for ruining that. This really isn't that big of a deal.
FDH finally agreed not to do anything AS LONG AS the guy never contacted me again in this manner. I feel so awful about this. I mean, I WAS friendly with the guy. Is this my fault? Should I have been more stand-off-ish? Should I have put my foot down as soon as he called me the first time, or texted me? I feel guilty. And FDH made me feel like he was talking to his daughter, not his girlfriend. Since when is making a pass at someone a sign of an evil axe-murderer plot? Ugh. Thanks for letting me get that one off my chest.
- helena_brass's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Some men are really
Some men are really idiots...and I don't mean your DH, I mean the idiot at the dealership. I know what you mean. I normally dress pretty conservative, even though I live at a beach condo and women walk around in bikinis all weekend...There have been a couple of men who have politely said "you look nice, like your hair, etc..." One in particular, although very respectful and claims he only did it so that my DH was happy, was constantly telling me to put make up on, etc...I don't really think he was hitting on me, but it did bother me. Now, sure as sh#$%#$5 comes some ahole, who is new...everyone meets him at a party (we have neighborhood parties all the time here) and I am very nice to him...so is my DH...my DH seemed to really like the guy, and since many here say I am "too serious", I was nice to him too...well, the AHOLE actually told me, while my DH went to get a drink "hey, if you need someone to "take care of you", give me a call...but don't tell your HUSBAND! I almost freaking DIED! I honestly felt like slapping the SOB, but at the same time, I felt that if my DH found out why, my DH would end up beating the crap out of this ahole...by the way, we BOTH thought the guy was gay from the way he acted, etc...and we have many gay friends, so we are normally right on...Now? I am so freaking uncomfortable everytime I see him. It pisses me off that I feel uncomfortable and he goes on his f#$%#$5 merry way...Everyone thinks he's so nice, blah, blah...he invites people to his condo for dinner, parties, etc...and everyone just loves him and they look at me funny for being a bit "stand-offish..." AHOLE! Sadly, this is not the first time it has happened to me. My father's BEST FRIEND who knew me since I was 5, once told me at a club we were all at, INCLUDING MY MOM AND DAD AND DH and even HIS SON who I grew up with, that I should "dump by DH and he'd take me to any island I wanted to and give me everything I ever wanted"...SOB!!! This is a man I saw ALL THE TIME growing up! He was my dad's best friend!
I tell you, there are AHOLES out there...I think sometimes we as women are more naive than the men...just like we know when a woman, ie. the BMs are taking advantage of our DH, etc...they know when some AHOLE is hitting on us...and we might not.
I wish I could tell you what to do. I understand how you feel. At the same time, you know what? Be happy your DH was ONLY going to call this guy's place of work...and not beat him up. I wish I could tell my DH and he too could call this guy's place of work, but because we only know him personally, he would just beat the crap out of him! sigh...and I don't want to put my DH in that position...so I continue to feel uncomfortable while this AHOLE walks around like nothing has happened.
Sorry this happened to you...
PS - no, it is NOT your fault...it's that AHOLE's fault!
I don't think it's really
I don't think it's really anyone's fault here. The dealership guy doesn't really sound like an a-hole, he sounds like a guy who has a crush and maybe wanted to ask you out. I don't really think it's that big of a deal, unless he was a total creep.
If he calls again, just politely say "thanks so much for all your help, but I'm married and feel it's inappropriate for you to be calling me when you're not at work, and my husband is getting pissed about it. I hope I didn't give you the wrong idea".
I think your DH is overreacting, I mean anywhere you would take your car would have your phone number and info. However, some people are more worried about the whole serial killer than I am. I mean hell, anyone could be a serial killer! I think your DH just has a little mix of paranoia/jealousy.
I would LOVE to have a car guy that gave me a discount because he had a crush on me, as long as he didn't cross any boundaries. Auto work is expensive!
No, FDH has your back and
No, FDH has your back and yes, the creepy repair-guy was crossing the line.
See, women are accepting of flattering remarks and our sense of propriety make us want to just be NICE. And you have gone to this place for many years and blah blah blah. You don't want to rock the boat because, well, you got a discount and his son is cute.
How do you think Ted Bundy got his victims? Now I am not saying this guy is a serial killer BUT he does have a lot of information about you doesn't he?
I agree with Flabbergasted, do not text. I will not text with anyone I have a professional or business relationship with.
I can agree with part of
I can agree with part of this. I've never known a business to consider it proper business behavior to text their customers. Making contact is important, but it's done during business hours, on business phones.
Because my DH gets jealous of contact I have with other men, be it working or in public, I completely understand your position. Men have accidently brushed up against me trying to get through a crowded area or have approached me, not realizing I was with someone, & my DH is all.over.it. It's irritating, & sometimes maddening.
A far as you being at fault, you can't control what other people say & do. I think you were fair in telling your DH what was happening, however, this guy has had your information for how long, & nothing has ever come of it. I don't mean to sound naive or suggest that it isn't possible, but I would say it isn't likely.
My DH has made an ass of himself over stupid things out of jealousy. It's embarrassing.
I agree with the suggestion to not respond or acknowlege his text messages. There is over-protective & there is jealousy. I'm not sure which one you're dealing with. Sometimes jealousy can just be irritating, but it has potential to turn into something ugly. The idea that you're questioning your fault here makes it sound more like jealousy. Just my thoughts.
I work at a Nissan dealership
I work at a Nissan dealership and those surveys mean alot. You get money for perfect ones, and people who work at dealerships are expected to be outgoing and chatty it brings customers back and helps create a loyality tie. he does sound like he was flirting a little. i would contact the guy if he does it again and tell him while you are flattered, you have a FDH that you love very much and if you took his actions wrong you are sorry and not to worry about recieving bad surveys you always enjoy your visits to the dealership but lets please keep this a professional relationship.