Just a lot
I'm dealing with a lot right now.
My 93-year-old grandmother fell and broke her hip. Two weeks later, she tried to get up, fell again, and broke a vertebra in her back. She's back at her assisted living facility, now in the med unit -- something she never wanted. She was already experiencing cognitive decline, but it's getting worse, not surprisingly. She perks up when I'm there, but she's an hour away and I can't be there very often, with everything else going on. She and I have always been extremely close (hate to admit, but I'm the favorite), so I have a lot of fear, major guilt and a real sense of loss and grieving.
I've always been super-healthy, other than kidney stones and being underweight. Something turned up in recent bloodwork and now I may have celiac disease. Won't know until later this week because the blood test takes several days. If not that, I'll have to go to a GI specialist to find out why I'm not absorbing some key nutrients. This distresses me. I know on the scale of scary diagnoses, this one isn't that awful, but it would mean a big lifestyle change for me.
Our greyhound developed bone cancer and had to have a leg amputated. It will come bank, likely in her lungs and around 6 months. She's more my husband's dog than mine, but it's still upsetting.
Dh is dealing with a lot of work stress (and he doesn't handle stress well). So am I. My boss is about to go on maternity leave for three months. So, I can't take time off for anything but medical appointments.
There's just no escape.
Probably because I'm so stressed, I find SS12 less and less easy to take. He came back over here yesterday and, of course, he has brand new, $120 shoes (he hadn't out-grown or worn out the previous pair). He immediately started asking when he's going back to BM's (she's getting him early because they're going to Disney World -- the real one -- for Thanksgiving). Bragging about the new $200 baseball bat his mom bought him. And he was just generally being obnoxious and annoying.
It would be nice to escape. But, as I said, I can't take time off work. And I don't want to leave my little dog because he's the only thing in my life right now that doesn't cause me stress or unhappiness.