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Day 1 of 50/50

Harleygurl's picture

Submitted by Harleygurl on Sat, 11/16/2013 - 5:30pm

It's only day one of 50/50 with SS 7 and I'm about ready to pull my hair out! This child has no manners and I keep getting jumped by DH for expected decent behavior in my home. DH got onto me for saying that SS 7 was getting lazy in cleaning his room. I didn't say he was lazy just that he was slacking off because nobody was keeping him on task. So I get a backlighting but he then turns around and says to his son "Go ducking clean your room. " WTF?

Comments

oneoffour's picture

Submitted by oneoffour on Sat, 11/16/2013 - 6:25pm

He said that to his son? OMG! How do these men expect their sons to speak to them in the future? I have NEVER heard my DH talk like that to his sons. NEVER. And they have driven his to insanity at times.

Go in the room and help SS get finished. Then tell DH that using that language towards a 7 yr old is not acceptable. Geez, these men are like Neanderthals!

Dolphin's picture

Submitted by Dolphin on Sun, 11/17/2013 - 8:37am

Would your husband be ok with sitting down with you and discussing the expectations for your SS while he is at your home? Maybe outline what you both think is appropriate behavior and then standing together united would help. When your talking to him discuss some positives too (this can be painful or far fetched) but it helps the conversation along.

LuckyGirl's picture

Submitted by LuckyGirl on Sun, 11/17/2013 - 2:26pm

If that's the way your husband speaks to his son aged 7, I would hate to hear the way his son will speak to him aged 15... and he'll have nobody but himself to blame.

Harleygurl's picture

Submitted by Harleygurl on Mon, 11/18/2013 - 10:19am

DH has a quick temper that comes out through his mouth. We have been working on it for a long time and it has improved greatly but he does have his occasional flair-ups. I'm not excusing his behavior by any means but he was raised in such a dysfunctional household himself (he pumped the keg for dad's parties when he was 3 if you get my drift) and he was only 19 when his son was born - he is just now learning how to be a dad and recognizing that his own father was warped as all get out.

I fear that this will be the end of my marriage. I'm not particularly fond of SS7 because he is such a messed up child but I feel sorry for him. He didn't do this to himself. His BM caused most of the damage. She is young, immature, and lives in her own little make believe world. She seriously needs counseling and medication herself.

I feel like I'm drifting in the sea of immaturity and stress because of DH, SS7 and BM drama all the time. We did talk some about how this whole change would effect myself and my BS14. My warning has been issued that if it starts to sour changes will be made and DH is expected to run interference between me and BM. She will start bitching at about 4 PM today. I am in charge of taking SS7 to school when he is with his dad. We have tried this before and I always got a bitchy text around 4 PM for not doing something right so I stopped doing it. It's going to get ugly before it gets better.