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BM (aka the Bat) is a selfish controlling (insert suitable farm animal/bad word)

HappyCow's picture

DH was supposed to meet with BM (the Bat) at her therapist’s office today to discuss and have her sign a simple paper for the county school system giving her permission as the custodial parent for SD15 to go to school in our county. This has nothing to do with the courts, CS, or anything else this is just for SD15 to be enrolled in our county. We live in a county in MD that is considered one of the best in the state and enrolling kids from out of county can be tricky. If there are any posters on here from MD you can probably guess which county I am talking about.

BM was not only a no show she also is now claiming that she will not sign anything unless it shows that it is only good for the school year which would be fine, however, our attorney is in court all day and has already revised this stupid letter 3 times to suit bat shit BM. Bat also claimed in her last text to DH that he stole her identity (which of course he hasn't) and that she cannot trust him. DH responded back by telling her to pull her credit report to see that he has not done anything of the sort and her claim has nothing to do with what is best for SD15. I give DH credit he has been trying so hard to be civil to the Bat but is getting to the end of his rope.

SD15 has already missed school for 2 days and according to new school system she could start as soon as Friday if we get this letter to them tomorrow.

BM has not spoken to or even asked about how SD15 has been. What kind of mother doesn't even want to talk to their child especially when this is such a big move?

SD15 is still saying that she wants to live and go to school with us because she doesn't want to deal with the Bat anymore. In the past when she was trying to tell us how crazy her mother was I kind of blew it off but after the last few days and reading the nasty incoherent texts that she is sending I now totally get it. Bat is also saying that we are just trying to screw her. Out of what? Out of free babysitting and CS? We have multiple text messages from her stating that she doesn't want SD15 to live with her anymore and that it is best that she lives with us.

This is all about control and the realization that Bat is loosing her meal ticket even when somewhere deep down in her delusional brain she knows that this is what is best for both of them. Bat doesn't have the mentality to deal with normal every day situations but throw a little stress into the mix she just shuts down.

Now DH and I have to decide what is best for SD15 at this point. Neither of us wants to send her home. I even have had a turn around from not wanting SD15 to live with us to realizing that we are going to be sending her home to a terrible situation. We can't keep her any longer because soon Bat will realize that she can have DH arrested because he is not custodial and SD15 cannot miss anymore school.

DH doesn’t want to be the one that throws in the towel and give up on SD15. I think that SD15 is aware of everything that we have tried to do for her and will understand. DH gave SD15 his word that he will try everything in his power to make it happen but I think SD15 may be going home to Bat tonight.

Comments

HappyCow's picture

Update: DH is driving SD15 to Bat now. I feel so sad for all of us. He is going to give it one more chance in person to speak with her and to try to get her to sign the paper.

I could hear SD15 crying in the car.

SM with BM from hell's picture

I have a feeling we live in the same school district. I had no idea he needed a paper to enroll her. I was under the impression that its more difficult for him to withdraw her from her previous school. We had the same issue with BM. We just ended up enrolling here with her last report card and immunization records from the dr office and her birth certificate. We then let the school deal with getting her records from the other school

Cocoa's picture

if dh isn't going to step up and try to obtain custody of sd, i'd make sure bm didn't upset your household over this again. when SHE does the legwork and puts the financial effort into it that your dh has, she'll back out again. your sd is obviously miserable and your dh won't go for custody? fine, but bm cannot call your dh to rescue her anymore. it's going to be hard for your dh to ignore pleas from his daughter to come get her, but he's doing that now by not going for custody, so what's the difference? for your sd's sake, I hope bat signs the papers with no more hoop jumping for you. I couldn't stand knowing (if bat doesn't sign) in the future that all that drama can happen at a moment's notice. I couldn't live like that. I think your dh needs to shit or get off the pot.

HappyCow's picture

My DH has done everything in his power to make this happen. We have been told by our lawyer that going after custody will be a loosing and costly battle. If we thought we had a chance to get full custody we would do it. However, it is not worth loosing our home over this.

Cocoa's picture

well, then your dh will have to come to terms with it and quit allowing all this drama into your home on a regular basis. the courts have deemed bm fit, so be it. but, i'd definitely turn her in in the future to children's services/the police. and i'd let her know it.

JustAnotherSM's picture

"...going after custody will be a loosing and costly battle".

I experienced a similar situation with my SS when he was 13. My DH chose to go to court. It was most definitely a loosing and costly battle.