No, you are not being a bad step parent just a very caring one!!! I think it is great that you don't want your kids to go through what you have and it take a very strong person to want to help a child that is not theirs better themselves. It sucks that you don't have him more often to get him eating healthier. Keep up the good work when you do have him and just pray one day his mother will see the light.

Has anyone taken him to a Dr about the panting when he is running?? Him being over weight could cause him to also have asthma?

Live for today,you may not have a tommorow

Childhood obesity is dangerous and leads into adulthood obesity. Children that live obese, grow up to continue being obese and have slim to none chance of ever losing enough weight to put themselves at a healthy weight. Looking at obesity, and going on a diet to become "skinny" is like looking at a forest and seeing a single tree when looking at the benefits of losing weight.

Obesity is very hard on a persons body. The high blood pressure, high cholesteral, diabetes, asthma...all associated with obesity. Not to mention that children that are obese often have diets full of sugar which attribute to tooth decay. These are just the physical hardships of obesity, there are also mental hardships. It's evident to me that society is a lot nicer to thinner, attractive young people. It's harder for people to even obtain jobs when they are morbidly obese. I know as a business owner, I can't employe someone to climb ladders to perform the necessary work in our trade that is morbidly obese.

You are certainly not being a bad person or stepmother simply b/c you are trying to look after your ss. My ss is also overweight, and we have fought for years with his mother to get him slim down. When he moved in with us, he immediately lost weight b/c we primarily eat at home, then when he returned to his mother, he put back on all the weight and then some, returning to being obese. His mother tells everyone that he is genetically predisposed to being heavy....which is total bullsh!t b/c he lost weight when living with us. She is a very chaotic person and runs constantly thru drive thrus and that is why her kids are overweight with rotting teeth.

The best way to maintain a persons weight is to prevent obesity in the first place, it's much harder to lose weight than it is to maintain. You are doing a great job by working on teaching your kids eating healthy meals first, then treating them to McD's on occasion. Fyi, the reason McD's hamburger taste so good is b/c they put sugar in the meat, that is why kids love them. Also, soda pop is full of corn syrup, which is sugar, and masks your symptoms of feeling full, therefore you eat more than your body needs. That is why we can eat a supersized McD's meal.

When I see obese kids, I think most of them have parents that are either too lazy to cook, or too uneducated about good health, and their kids are suffering from it. I know there are a few occasions where kids are obese due to genetics, but it is really rare. Most kids that are overweight are overweight from poor parenting. Also, it's cheaper to cook healthy meals than it is to constantly buy McD's.

Whenever I go to farmer's market to buy fresh produce, there is a WIC rep there making sure woman with children can buy fresh produce if they can't afford it, so there really is no excuse for parents that choose to keep their kids overweight.

Good luck with your efforts,
Candice

P.S. Give yourself a pat on the back for caring so much!

If you are, then I was the worst mother of all time!! Healthy living and healthy foods was so important to me, and something I wanted to pass on to my child, that many thought I was going overboard. And I probably did, but I have NO regrets. Oh, and I was a single mom, working full time-always, and going to school full time for 4 of those years...not a valid excuse if you ask me.

My son (now 23) didn't taste candy until he was 3, goodies for easter baskets, christmas stockings, etc were always fruits, nuts, and other small things...no candy or junk food. He and his friends were never allowed to bring soda in the house. Not that he didn't ever have one, but if it came through the front door, it got poured down the drain. We almost never ate out, and I almost always cooked basic, healthy meals. I tried to teach him to not put things in his body that had no value-like sodas or candy. I tried to teach him to make healthy choices. Don't get me wrong, he did get to eat crap occasionally, but it was the exception not the rule. And unbelievably, it has paid off. He likes to eat good food now. His choices when he shops for himself are mostly good choices. And he's slim and healthy as a horse.

Just do what you think and know in your heart is best for this child. You may be the only good influence he ever has when it come to this subject.

Oldest ss is 45 lbs over weight...why, well he lives with BM and comes here 4 days a month. At home, his mom buys him 2 flats of 24 cans of pepsi, this is to last him a week. She drinks the same in coke and the youngest ss gets 1 flat of rootbeer. They also eat take out at least 3-4 times a week. At home they eat all processed foods you can either microwave or fry.

We on the other hand are not big junk food eaters. Eat out maybe once a month and will have apprx. 2 bottles of pop for EVERYONE to share in the month.

When I came into the picture, 3 yrs ago, ss's did not eat any kind of veggies. This changed. To this day, the oldest ss (overweight one) will sit at the kitchen table long after all of us have gotten up (sometimes up to 2 hours) and still be eating his veggies. He gets 2 spoonfuls. He warms them up probably 10 times....will litterally eat one pea at a time. BM says we are being unfair in making them eat this. She was told mind your own business...he eats healthy foods here...you worry about your own house. Mind you if we had McDonald's (which BM points out ss eat 2 full size adult meals each time and its so expensive for her, so then why order them we ask?!), ss would have his supper done in minutes.

Just goes to show you they really don't have their best interests in mind.

Good Luck!
Corie