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See that...its the smoke from DH's dreams for SD going up in smoke

halo1998's picture

DH's dream of SD going to college just burst like a firecracker on the 4th of July.

SD took the PSAT in October...got the results.  **POOOFFFF*...went the college dream.

SD got a cool 800 out of 1520 on that bad boy. Sigh...any and all hope of SD going to a 4 yr college just died.  

Was Halo shocked...eh not really.  Its been me that has worked with for the last 10 years on her homework..and ...well there is a light on and no one home in that girl's head. 

I feel for SD..she would like to be as intelligent as her friends, her step siblings, etc.  But you have ADHD that while medicated...is not dealt with on a therapy basis and coupled with a parent that thinks "education" is as waste of time for her kids and a parent that thinks you should be "friiieeeeeeennnnndssss" with your kids, you get SD.

 

Poor kid..unless something drastic happens between  now and the end of next year her dream of college out in a lovely southwestern state is going up in smoke.

Comments

tog redux's picture

Well, my SSstb22, who barely graduated from high school, planned to get a Ph.D in Nanotechnology until maybe, oh, last year.  That plan seems to have gone by the wayside.  So I'm sure she'll hang onto her unrealistic plans for a while longer. 

halo1998's picture

DH is honest with her on the reality of her situation.  He sat her down, showed her the score...explained how college work and that she needed to have a plan b, or c or d.  However, plan A....was probably not going to happen unless she really applies herself and it will not be easy.

Given SD's perchant for the economy of effort....community college may be a long shot as well.

JRI's picture

All 5 of our kids (2 bios and 3 SKs) are intelligent.  One (#4)  completed college.  The oldest went to cosmetology school and while not entirely self-supporting, contributed to family finances with her ex and raised 3 kids.  $2 worked in the construction industry and is now a semi-retired contractor.  #3 went into the army early, has some college credit and is now employed by a communication firm making a 6-digit salary.  #4 who graduated from college is a SAHM.  #5 is a very successful salesman.

I have to say I didn't see the payback from #4's education but on the other hand, she's the only one who parlayed the $ we gave each for house down payment into a valuable home.  The others were rebellious and resistant to more education after high school but it worked out for them all except #1 SD with her drug issues later in life.

halo1998's picture

but ya gotta have some sort of plan.  Sitting around making tik tok videos isn't going to pay the bills. SD has no ambition, no interest other tik tok, snapchat and facetime.  She doesn't read, doesn't have any hobbies and doesn't play sports of any type.

I mean she wants to go to college..she doesn't want to put forth effort to get there.  She just wants it to fall  into her lap.  Sigh....shades of GWR..who also wants everything to fall into his lap.

CLove's picture

She has her Big Plans to go to college. She even knows that her mother being lower income will get her a better price. She ven knows that she will need to have great grades (not just ok). But I think shes going to rely on community college and they take in anyone no matter the GPA.

thinkthrice's picture

Meme of adult with clown makeup on...

"Me getting dressed for work realizing an 8 yr old youtuber made 26 million last year."

Seriously?  This kid has just started out in the working world!!!  They certainly want it all handed to them on a silver platter!

Not to worry...I hear a lot of universities are dropping testing altogether.

ESMOD's picture

While college isn't for everyone... it is still possible for her to go to college.  She can retake the test.  She can do a prepwork class and practice and improve that score.  There may be schools that will look at more than just a score factor.  they may not be her dream schools.. but hey.

She could also start at community college for a year or so.. then transfer in to a 4 year school. 

Alternately.. she could explore military service... or trade schools/apprenticeships.

 

ESMOD's picture

and.. the PSAT isn't the test they look at either.  That test is like a practice for the real SAT.  It indicates she could use some practice and training to iimprove her score.  All isn't lost.. but she likely will have to work a bit to improve her score.  There are tricks to doing well on these tests.. a prep class would be worth it.

halo1998's picture

or a trade school.  The military would be work and SD is not about that.

Yes..SD can retake the test but honestly I have been working with her on school work for years.  I was not shocked by her score.  

Harry's picture

Let anyone attend C college. Who Graduate High School or GED. Depending on what they do in CC. Will determine how far they will go. 

ntm's picture

If so, it's just the practice exam. I didn't do well on my PSAT either. I really didn't do fantastic on my SAT either. I graduated in the top five percent of my high school class though. There are tutoring courses now to help students prepare for the test. As long as she graduates from high school, she can go to community college. 

halo1998's picture

to do a tutoring course or any type of prep work.  I know all about them..both my kids took them and prepped for the ACT/SAT's.  Both received very good scores and were in the tops of their class.

SD is no where near the top of her class and for the most part takes just the bare minimum in high school.  

Community college may be her only option.

ESMOD's picture

I think this is basically the whole point of the PSAT.  It gives the kids an idea of how well prepared they may be for that "very important test".  Clearly her results show her to be much more towards the bottom when compared with other kids with similar aspirations.

It's not YOUR job really.. but dad.. mom needs to deliver the message that this is a warning shot across her bow.  A sign that she needs to apply herself more... and possibly adjust expectations..  It's also a sign that she should probably take advantage of some of the aids, like test prep, that almost ALL kids who aspire to higher education goals use to improve their scores and the chances they will get into their dream schools.

I mean, she may be complacent.. the school standard testing she may have taken to date may not have needed any prep work.. and she may have done adequately on those tests.  But testing for college is a higher level of expectation.  The pool of kids expected to do well taking these is smaller.. not every kid in school will aspire to go to school beyond HS.

And doing prep for important tests is just pretty standard for most people.. even smart people. I did a semester long prep course when I was taking my CPA exam... and spent hours outside that prep class studying.. hours and hours.. BUT.. I did pass that sucker.. and on the first try.  (now about 50% pass first time.. back then fewer than 20% of test takers did.. guess they have changed the test a bit..haha).  I wasn't a straight A.. but neither did I overly struggle with my courses.. but prepping for that test? yeah.. we all did something like that.

So, while this may seem like bad news...it is an opportunity for her parents to discuss her academic goals.  There is still time for her to work on her test prep for the actual test.. or tests like Rags said.. ACT and SAT are accepted very often and maybe one is suited better to her.  

"DD, we got the results of your PSAT.  If this is any indication of the actual score you will get when you have to take the real test... there are very few colleges that are likely to accept you with that score.  If you were a straight A student, you "might" have better luck.. but your grades just won't be able to make up the difference.  And.. unfortunately, most of the schools that take those lower scores are higher cost private schools and those just aren't in our budget.  So, unless you can improve your scores on that next test, the best you are likely to expect is to attend a local community college to start and hope to transfer after a year or two.

If you want, we can get you into some test prep that should help you improve the score.  It's more than just intelligence and knowledge of subjects that matter..there are ways to study.. tricks in taking it.. that those prep courses can teach you.  Many kids will take these courses.. even the top of the class kids because they want the BEST scores so they get into their dream colleges.  It's not just for dummies.  Is it a little bit of work? sure.. but you tell us you have certain goals and those goals are going to require effort from you.  It's not always the smartest or talented kids that succeed in things.. but the people willing to put in the most work with the best attitude..

If you want to rethink attending college, we should talk about other options.  There are a lot of trades where women can do very well... Fields like nursing are also possibilities.  The military too.. but you are at an age where you will need to start making adult level decisions... there comes a time that no matter how much we, your parents WANT to fix things for you.. we just won't be able to.. it will be up to YOU to make your own way forward.  We are here for you and you don't have to give us an answer right now.... but we do want to understand how you feel and what you want.

 

JRI's picture

I thimk what you're seeng, Halo, is someone who isnt showing maturity about a life decision.  Not unexpected in a teen.  I wanted to share a hopeful story.

My GS, stb28, in an intelligent, handsome person.  He did well in high school.  There was some kind of problem which I still dont understand and my DD let him drop out!  I was shocked!  Long story short, 7 years ensued of him living with some buds, minor police trouble, drugs, etc.  He woke up about 3 years ago, moved back with DD & SIL, got his GED, enrolled in an online college's  computer program, got a degree and got a job with a major firm in another city.  He bought a house and is now going for his master's degree.

It's a miracle but if someone had told me it would turn out like this, I'd have said, no way.  It was looking pretty hopeless there for awhile.  Hoping your SD wakes up, too, but it might take a few years, like my GS.

 

halo1998's picture

but to be quite frank...she is just not that bright.  Sigh...she is average at best and in most cases below average.  So while she has lofty aspirations she lacks the knowledge and quite frankly the motivation to do well.

Ispofacto's picture

People have been harping on the "you have to go to college" bandwagon for too long.

In reality they need to pick a career they are capable of and won't hate that will give them enough money to live on.  And I do mean "enough", because the whole "you can be anything you want" bootstraps propaganda is a load of hooey.  Not everyone can get rich and no one is entitled to be rich just because they want to be.

Once they decide their career, they then need a plan on how to make it happen.

Too many people are getting useless degrees "just because" and then aren't able to pay off their student loans.  And paying them is not society's responsibility.

It is, however, society's responsibility to pay every fulltime worker a fair wage.  That's what needs to happen.  Working class people generate almost all the economic activity, and paying them is the best stimulation.  And it's the right thing to do.

 

advice.only2's picture

I have a degree I never use and I make way less than my DH who took some college and ended up just working.  BS has a bit of college, years of technical training and is on a really good career path.  If somehow your DH can convince SD to join the military or attend a trade school she probably won't need a four year degree where she majors in beer pong and STDs. 

Rags's picture

A PSAT is really nothing. Colleges don't even look at the PSAT.  The SAT or ACT is what they use as their acceptance criterial standardized test.  I did okay on the SAT but not great.  1200ish. But I blew the doors off of the ACT. I got a 35.  

Try both tests and get the prep programs for them.  The ACT fit my test style much better than the SAT.

There are also non competitive entry college and university options.  Most universities have a transfer student option that does not use standardized test scores if a student transfers in 60 semester hours or more with a transfer cumulative GPA target.   A JC or CC can be solid prep institutions for transferring to a desired 4 year school.

Texas A&M is a prime example of a strong university with a comprehensive JC transfer option.  Many Aggies start at Blinn College which has a comprehensive agreement for coordinated programs starting at Blinn  and finishing at A&M with an A&M bachelors degree. A&M also has a similar relationship with NMMI for JC transfer students. Their NMMI agreement also works with the Officers commissioned through the NMMI early commissioning to finish their Bachelors degree.

There are any number of schools and paths to a Bachelors. Not everyone even takes an SAT or ACT.

The value in the PSAT is introducing students to standardized testing and for qualifying for merit scholarship programs, etc....  Don't give it more value than it deserves.

IMHO of course.

 

TheAccidentalSM's picture

Halo, I think I get you on this.  The issue isn't that SD isn't academic, its that she won't apply herself to make the best out the talents she does have.  

I knew loads of people at university who probably shouldn't have been there as they were not academically inclined.  Some of them had personal tutors paid for by their parents to coach them through their undergraduate degrees (Oh, the privilege).  But they slogged away and somehow managed to get a degree.  Most of them are successful now but that's down to their other talents and interpersonal skills.

tog redux's picture

Yes, this is what she saying. Also that she has unrealistic goals. My SS was this way and still is. It's not about going to college or not going, it's about working hard at something to be successful. If my SS wanted to work hard at a trade or go in the military, or even work full-time at Wegmans, DH would be thrilled. But he doesn't, he wants a get-rich quick scheme that will not have any work involved. 

notarelative's picture

My youngest wasn't the best student. His middle school and beginning high school grades were mediocre. He'd say, "what does if matter if you get a C or an A. You go to the next  grade anyway."

Then mid high school, he decided on a career. He buckled down, his grades went to mostly A's, as he wanted to go to a certain college. He got in, graduated, went to grad school, and is employed in the field he wanted.

SD still has unrealistic goals, but all is not lost yet. She won't get into an ivy, but there are a myriad of options open to her.