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Cut off your nose to spite your face there Beaver

halo1998's picture

Ah...I have never seen anyone cut of their nose to spite their face more than Beaver does.  It like a religion to her...

Dh has to travel..(yea I know Covid....and personally we both think it is the stupidist idea right) for work on Sunday.  He will be out of town from Sunday noonish till around 11 p.m. Tuesday night.  Now, DH asked Beaver to adjust the schedule but alas that is big fat NO...because why be reaonable when you can be unreasonable.  So..instead Beaver will just keep SD the days that DH is out of town and DH will pick up SD on Wednesday morning at 5:30 a.m.  He decided not to get SD on Tuesday night since it would be around midnight. 

Cool..whatrever there Beaver.

Now...SD comes to our house every morning before school to catch the bus and every afternoon after school to wait for Beaver to pick her up. DH works from home everyday so it works out.

Now one would think that while DH is away SD would still come here..I'm here and she is almost 16 surely she can stay by herself for a little while.  Beaver can technically drop her off at school in the morning and then just pick up SD from school after work around 4.  Seems like an easy thing...ah but its Beaver so nothing can be easy.

Instead of the above..Beaver will have her elderly father (Mr. Beaver SR), who shouldn't be driving, drive SD to school and then pick her up.  SD does not want this and at this point has said..she will just stay after school rather than have Mr. Beaver SR pick her up.  I quote SD..."I don't want him to pick me up..his driving is scary.  Mom doesn't want him on the road"

So rather than have SD here at her FATHER'S house for GASP.....all of an hour and half after school... Beaver would rather inconvenience her elderly father (Beaver SR...aka Beaver's mother had a stroke a few years back and cannot drive) drive SD.

Whatever there Beaver..just means I don't have to get up to make sure SD gets in the house in the skin off my nose.

But would have been easier to just have SD continue to come here...I mean really what does she think I will do to SD in that hour and half...

SMH y'all at the sheer lunacy that is Beaver.


CastleJJ's picture

This sounds exactly like what our HCBM does. If it prevents SS from having time with DH and gets BM out of having to do any work, then it's a win win for BM. Who cares about easier or logical, as long as BM gets her way. Our BM has used this "logic" for years, proposing chaotic and complex "solutions" to schedule changes but generally, they only benefit BM. Usually, these "solutions" result in DH losing time and other people being inconvenienced with having to provide childcare and/or transportation for SS. In our case, I blame HCBM's parents who have enabled her PAS behavior and who will drop everything to babysit and chauffeur SS around so BM doesn't have to step up and parent. Because of their enabling, BM believes that she can snap her fingers and demand things go her way, even if it inconveniences everyone but her. 

As annoying as it is, at least she isn't making it your problem. But you are right, SD is 16 and plenty old enough to stay home for a few hours by herself, but in doing so, that would mean that Beaver would have to give up control, which you and I both know isn't happening. 

halo1998's picture

and then we are HOME FREE.

But yes..I love that it is not my problem....even SD says...Mom has to make it so difficult for everyone.

Now if it were me....and I was in Beaver Sr's position I would have told her NO.  Just drop off SD and pick her up at her FATHER'S house. 

CastleJJ's picture

Yeah but Beaver Sr and their family, like our BM's family, have enabled Beaver for years so they aren't going to say "No." It's why Beaver is the way she is because she has never been told "No." 

classyNJ's picture

One that really sticks in my head is when SSnow19 came to live with us and DH went to court to get full custody and stop CS payments.  The judge ordered DBDB to pay back $1,200 to DH for CS that she was still collecting even tho SS19 did not live with her. 

She told the judge that she would NEVER write a check with DH name on so instead agreed to let DH claim SS19 from then on for taxes.  (They used to claim one child each and DH was ok with her to collect the next 2 years).  She wound up losing $6,000 for those 2 years for just $1,200, but according to her it was fact that she didn't have to write him a check. 

CastleJJ's picture

This truly shows how petty some BMs are. Your BM lost an extra $5,800 just because she refused to write a check out to DH. BM probably felt that the federal government was paying DH, not her, even though she was the one losing the money. Honestly though, our BM has done similar stuff financially to avoid directly "paying back" DH. The debts are always paid, but BM refuses to give money to DH directly. It's such weird logic. 

Our BM lives out of state but BM's parents used to live locally to us. Once, BM, GF, and SS were meeting BM's parents in another state for vacation. BM, GF, SS and her parents were scheduled to fly back to their respective states the day of pickup, so BM offered for SS to just fly to our state with her parents and we could pick SS up from BM's parents' house 20 minutes from us, instead of us driving the 12 hours round-trip to pick up SS. We accepted this arrangement because this worked out better for everyone; we would only have to drive 20 minutes instead of 12 hours, SS would only have to fly 30 minutes versus riding in a car 6 hours, and it put literally no work on BM. We even offered to pay for SS' flight. 

A month before their vacation, BM asked DH for a random schedule change that did not pertain to the vacation. DH wasn't able to accomodate the schedule change due to a work trip. BM was irritated, but didn't really push the issue and nothing more was said. Well, BM, GF, SS and BM's parents all went on their vacation. The morning of our scheduled pickup, DH asked BM for SS' flight information so we could know when to expect him. BM then proceeded to inform DH that since he couldn't "cooperate" with her schedule change request, BM cancelled the flight for SS to fly to us with BM's parents and that they instead flew SS all the way back to their state, so DH would have to drive the 12 hours round-trip to pick up. DH was shocked! So because BM didn't get her way, DH had to drive 12 hours and SS had to spend a few hours on a plane to get back to BM's state and then spend 6 hours in the car, just to get to our state. BM didn't care because it didn't create any work for her! It only inconvenienced DH and burdened SS with a long day of traveling.