Anger
So if you read my first entry, you read my husband I decided to separate. His daugher is a big issue due to CPS involvement, multiple lies, manipulations, and terrible attitude. Aside from the step children issue, my husband has not been the kindest person. Despite evertything.
Today's post is about anger. We mutally decided to separate and at first we were disussing the logistics, money, and stuff like that. He was fine and being civil. Then today in the morning, he told me he wanted to start the year of right and be good and have a happy family. I knew what he was getting at. I told him I loved him, but that my decision not to live with his daughter is final. But of course, he is insistent she live with us. At first he was sad, and throughout the day he got more serious and quiet.
Now, he's being passive agressive. Even making comments like " I can't wait to get out of here". I understand he is hurting, so am I. But he decided a long time ago not to co-parent and to let his kids walk all over me. I just decided that i've had enough. Half of me is heartbroken, and the other half relieved that I won't have to deal with his kids anymore. I gave up way too much of my sanity already.
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Comments
Save yourself years of frustration and happiness
There are 7.3 billion people in this world. This guy and his daughter are not worth your happiness. There will be other good men and if not, meh! A lot of guys are unreliable and stepparenting is nothing short of torturous, especially the problematic ones.
Put yourself first. Not your job to support him through this
If you had any doubt whether or not you're making the right choice, silently thank him for removing them. He's gone from being civil (before it had truly sunk in), then to delusional (wanting to fix things way too late) then passive aggressive (his default state when he can't manipulate you with false promises) all within what? A day? Good on you for getting off this rollercoaster nightmare. Of course he's not happy, he's freaking out that his previous setup where he could have his cake and eat it is coming to an end.
Good for you!
I dread this same thing because it appears to be going the same way over here. My DH is cycling through the Rage, Charm, Pity cycle and I am getting more lovey-dovey b.s. right now, but there is anger / rage just below the surface that I dread being unleashed again.
Sorry you are going through it but inspired by your clarity.
His actions are saying he
His actions are saying he wants to stay together without having to do anything to change. You are are making the right decision. It's obvious it will take a lot more than you leaving for him to see what he has done to break up your marriage.
You are doing the right thing
You are doing the right thing. Protect yourself and your small children. He isn't going to do it.