I really hate that I feel so alone in my home and whats worse is that I seclude myself just to avoid the rejection.

I guess you can call it disengaging. Something we all do when we don't get anywhere with our efforts. I disengaged a long time ago. DH gets frustrated when I do not want to join him and his kids in activities. I dont like feeling like the 3rd wheel. Anytime I'm with all of them at once, all they do is engage with their dad, its always been this way, well before I disengaged. I end up sitting there listening to them interact and also blab on about their mom and her antics. Anytime I make an attempt to engage with them, they barely respond. I explained this to DH and all he seems to notice is what IM not doing, he doesnt acknowledge the efforts I have made and that his kids do not respond. he always makes excuses for them.

He tells me, I'm the adult and everything is up to me. He is right in some ways, however I have no control over the fact that his kids are not open to engaging with me beyond, hello. I can only dig for so much info, I can only try as much as I can, relationships are a 2 way street. He claims he encourages them to interact with me, but I have yet to see it ever happen and that should prove to him that they don't.

I have spent so many years taking care of them and their needs, doing for them, being a part of their lives. These kids arent babies either, they are 13, 17 & 19. Never once have they ever wished me a happy birthday on my bday when they have been with me. ONly one of them has wished me a happy mothers day once in the 8 years I have been their step mom. These things are just common courtesy and I dont even get that. DH tells me I can't just give up. Really? how bout you play a bigger role in bridging this family gap? Afterall, you are the reason for us all being a family, you are at the center of it, the man of the house and the leader of the house. I can do my part to change my attitude, but I'm reluctant when he lives in total denial and will not acknowledge the reality of the situation. He never encouraged his kids to bond with me and bm was PASS'ing them from the beginning. I never had a chance. Meanwhile I'm just burned out. I'm bitter and resentful especially because my husband is not understanding or encouraging. Never once has he ever offered to help the situation or encourage me in a positive way. he just critisizes me. I understand that im guarded but he doesnt understand why or that his kids are guarded too. Nothing is going to get resolved if both parties are guarded, so why is this all my fault? I'm not kissing any kids a$$es, thats not my style and I have my own child that I dont even do that to!