It's ok I dont care
We had the social worker come in today. DH was as normal absent from home and DS5 played in his room most of the time except last 5 min.
Some of the things SD15 said to the social worker
*You can't help me unless you give me plane ticket back to UK
*It is ok I don't care
*He (DS5) will get hit back if he hits me
*I am not awake till midday even if I am at school
*I can't walk home, I have fair skin, I'll get burned
*It is ok I don't care
*I just want to be by myself
*I will act the way how I feel, If she(me) makes me angry it is not my fault
*It is ok I don't care
*Don't feel sorry for me, don't pretend to care
*It is ok I don't care
*You can't treat my like a child
*House rules won't work because I am not a child
- going_to_kill_someone's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Some of the things SD15 said
Some of the things SD15 said to me
*That is what mothers do (re:cooking dinner, driving children)
*Yeah you are very rude
*Why should I be nice to you
*It is ok I don't care
*You are horrible
*You can't treat my like a child
*You broke my trust why should I be polite
*It is ok I don't care
*I feel sorry for him (DS5) because of you
*I don't care even if the world knows what problems we are having
*It is ok I don't care
The decision is that I will ignore her all this week. This Sunday is her 16th b'day. I have no intentions anymore to make a dessert or make an effort to make it special for her. and as of Monday I will not drive her from (and maybe to) school. She was still telling us that she can't take a bus and threatened us with not going.
Social worker told me just to try to have fun with DS5
After dinner I made a comment to her that it is funny that she told me that it was mother's job to do the chores, but she reminds me everyday that I am not her mother and expects me to do them anyway.
She said something as a response but to be honest I didn't even listen.
Social worker wants to talk to DH (still don't feel like calling him dear - so lets call him H) as soon as possible. Which will be tomorrow as he arrived home tonight. So he'll see her in the morning
in the mean time after he arrived SD15 went to talk and there were laughters coming from downstairs and they wished each other good night and she buggered of to her room. H came up said couple things and I to be honest didn't pay much attention beside telling him that I am having more counselling session and will be working on anger management.
I am tired, and I am for the first time feel really detached.
Good for you that you are
Good for you that you are feeling detached; hope it lasts. Some things/people are not really worth it and apparently Ss15 is one of them.
Actually all that happened
Actually all that happened yesterday and I have been trying to copy paste it
today DH hasn't called or made any attempts of talking to the social worker. sd15 said thank you when dropped of. So was picked up afterwards.
Later tonight she said some bits that she only said thank you because she didn't want me to judge her. (Wtf???)and if DS5 doesn't start saying it as well in couple weeks she'll stop saying thank you. So anyway I said in front of DH that if she doesn't, she'll take a bus. So she said bullsh.t now she lost the phone and wifi.
I literally lost any confidence that this could work. Today Ds's teacher made a comment that I didn't look happy and I have to do what is best for me and that will be best for DS.
DH says the problem is I love Ds too much, and that is causing for SD to behave like this.
I like the douche bag husband
I like the douche bag husband abbreviation. From now on that will be what I mean when I write DH
SD is behaving this way
SD is behaving this way because You love your son too much? That's your DHs explanation? So you should just love your kid less, treat him a little badly and SD would be satisfied?
I hear some crazy rationalizations on stalk, but this takes the cake.
Social worker was at some
Social worker was at some stage laughing at her and telling her that she has really good quality to twist some words to try to turn them on her way. And maybe she should chose Law for future.
Today I called her and left her a message saying that I am ashamed of Dh's behaviour of not calling as she is trying to help us. Later she called back saying that maybe only her and I should meet up as she doesn't think it will benefit us otherwise. And told me that it is perfectly ok that I will not stop protecting DS5 and it is totally ok for 5 And 15 year olds being treated differently.
I didn't respond to her how you say Sally as I am really hardly managing words out of my mouth. It is not only the language barrier as even in my mother language I can't get words out properly when I am angry, or sad
Mine is Turkish. And I have
Mine is Turkish. And I have strict rule that no swear words from anyone. That includes me, I am still trying to play fair and having a 5yo at home I want to keep it that way as DS5's only bad word is "stupid"
Having said that since he is at school he knows that a word that starts F is a bad word but not sure what it is.
Oh I don't do that but I
Oh I don't do that but I don't now why. And great thing is the other day she was swearing at me in Spanish and I called her on that. She wasn't amused either.
Funny even my mum suggested to tell her good words in Turkish but with a smirk in my face but she'll never know what they are and because they are not swear words. Mum thinks that will drive SD crazy.
It is a very rare occasion that my mother would come with such evil idea. I love her for that
Where in Turkey are you from?
Where in Turkey are you from? I am originally from Ankara.
And I swear like a sailor, have your skid call me and I will cuss her out for you.
On the other hand, if she does not know Turkish have a lovely conversation with her, at high volume, hands waving while reciting your grocery list in Turkish. The language is gutteral enough that she will seriously believe she is being blessed out and being sentenced straight to hell with no reprieve, meanwhile your citing, milk, bread, eggs, beef, flour, spagetti.
I am from Ankara too. I
I am from Ankara too.
I really don't want to respond to her what she has been all her life seen. I believe that is another thing that drives her crazy that I don't react the usual way (BM) to her.
Although there has been times I have lost it and screamed but I usually try my best.
Never ever swore at her. and try never to use bad words around them. This way I am actually practising what I preach, if you know what I mean.
Same as keeping the kitchen tidy. if I keep my mess tidy when she lives big mess I can say tidy it up. and she can't object with but there are other things etc.
It doesn't cease to amaze me
It doesn't cease to amaze me the excellent level of written English we find here from non-native speakers. That's great!
I'll take the compliments
I'll take the compliments
Nope it is Turkish. I learned
Nope it is Turkish. I learned English when I was around 21
Nope i believe there is a
Nope i believe there is a mistake there. DS5 never ever hit her out of the blue. When they are playing rough and tumble he used to get carried away and it would become rough and rough. And to be honest best way I know to stop that is to stop playing rough and tumble. He has never hit anyone with anger.
Tell me is that what you think is the issue here? I am sorry but you seem to take one thing out of this whole blog and give me a life lesson.
Really?
Ps: I have never been violent in my life due to what I have seen when I was young. So I will not tolerate anyone being rough to anyone!
Yes, for the love of
Yes, for the love of everything that is holy....STOP STOP STOP doing ANYTHING for this ungrateful brat.
We teach people how to treat us, by continuing to drive her around and do other favors for her, is telling her that she does NOT have to change her behavior. Some call it taking the high road, I call it taking it up the.... well...you get my drift.
Disengage needs to be your new favorite word!!!!