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BIO DAD GUILT IS SO ANNOYING

gijimenez5's picture

SS12 was with us again this weekend (thank god we go back to normal arrangment next weekend). I am starting to realize more then hating my SS12 antics I hate the way DH acts. Always makes excuses and thinks that rules are different for him. One weekend I noticed my BS14 left tv on all night (big no, no), so I told him that he needs to make sure that when he is tired go to sleep or put on timer. He said that it wasn't him that it was SS12. He said he told him to put timer on or to make sure to turn off because he was going to sleep and I did not like TV running all night. Next weekend he comes over my BS is staying over at grandma's, TV stay on all night, I tell my DH and right away he makes excuses for him that he has not shown him how to put timer, ( I know my son has on many occasions because he told me). Now this weekend again he leaves tv on all night. My son and my niece fall asleep upstairs with my other BS05. They had a little sleep over. SS13 goes downstairs and you guessed it left TV on all night. What does DH say oh it's not his fault he was expecting your BS14 to come downstairs and turn off for him. That's it doesn't even punish him or anything. Even though I am disengaged I set rules in my house, so I said since I have given you plenty of warnings you are no longer to watch TV downstairs before bed. If you are going to bed you are going to bed. DH stays quiet. DH asks SS12 to put his bed away (it's a roll under sort), what does he do he ignores DH so I hit my foot on the bed. DH calls SS12 doesn't punishi him just says go put it away. SS12 was sick so he takes the medicine to bedroom and drinks it there (again against rules for anything to be eaten/drinked in bedrooms)and of course it would be to much to ask for him to clean medicine cup so when I go to BS14 room there is the medicine cup filled with ants (that's why I don't allow food there). I tell DH and he is like oh he is sorry, no punishment. SS13 had detention for being disrepectful to the teacher guess what I only knew cause BS05 told me (Which I don't care I am disengaged and proud) but did he punish him no.

Now lets get to last night after DH came back from dropping of SS12, my BS05 (again five years old)refused to eat all of his rice he just ate the meatloaf. DH is going on and on that he should eat the rice, BS05 is complaining that DH served him too much. So DH says fine don't eat it but you are not going to get any dessert and you can't use the Iphone (he uses it to play his preschool game apps). HE PUNISHED MY FIVE YEAR OLD TWICE!!! I told him you know you always do that any little thing that BS05 does you reem him with punishments, incase you didn't know he is your biological son as well you treat him worse then a stepchild! So my BS05 gets punished all the time just because you see him everyday. My BS05 always tells me how mean DH is! I have to always tell him no he loves you. Eventually he is going to get older and notice the difference as my BS14 already sees. Tired of the Bio Dad Guilt!

Comments

Auteur's picture

UGH!! Ye Olde Double Standard raises it's ugly head again!!1 I feel so sorry for you ladies with biokids from DH or WORSE biokids from a previous relationship that DH projects all his lack of control issues with his OWN spawn onto!!

gijimenez5's picture

Don't get me started on my BS14 from another relationship!! He always pushes me to be strict (which I already am that's why i get so angry). And if my BS14 cuddles me, I don't hear the end of how he is a mama's boy, etc, etc, but when SS13 is all over him I guess that's okay jeez!!