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Off topic but need advice

FuBaR's picture

My FH mother has been diagnoised (sp?) with mouth cancer. Well Im really worried about her, and my F FIL. But I have only been through the cancer trauma once my whole life with my grandfather and sadly he passed 9 years ago with it. Everyone thinks Im the strong one the one with a solid head on my shoulders. But in all honesty its killing me on the inside this woman has been more of a mother to me than anything and I love her dearly. So my question is what do I say to my FH when he asks me what do I say to mother (bc she wants to talk to him alone) and I have no idea what to say to do or anything. I have never felt so hopeless in my life, I know ppl say that they dont get along with their MIL but mine is like my mother bestfriend (besides FH) the one who I go to for long talks. So if you all would kindly keep her in your thoughts and prayers my family would be greatly apprieciative. On top of that he has a custody court date on monday. So we are hoping to get full custody of his boys. Wow life seems so unfair sometimes. Sorry for rambling Im just at a loss for words right now. Thanks for listening to me ramble on.

Comments

B's picture

This is such a tough situation. You can't really tell him what to say to her, since you don't know what she's going to say to him. All you can do is tell him to listen to her concerns, fears, etc and to be as supportive as he can be. And let him know that after he's talked to his Mom you'll be there for him and will listen as well. It's all you can do.

Good luck with the court date. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.

Most Evil's picture

Sometimes I think people see me as this tower of strength when I am not, so I have been letting people know lately, I don't know how to fix everything and I can't do everything, and its ok to not be able to.

I am sorry for your FMIL and DH and like B. said, just to be there for them can be enough too. Maybe make some special treats, their favorites, to help everyone get a smile despite all that's going on.

"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin