Dealing....
So after the disagreement with FDH and BM, BM has kept SD away from him for two days so far. He has been getting her on Monday and Thursday because BM got a new job and didn't have a "babysitter" those days. It's not written in the custody agreement, as I told FDH to get done.
After BM telling SD3 that her father was a fucking dipshit, BM called FDH and left him a voicemail telling him that he will never see his daughter again and she is taking him to court for child support, you know the same ole shit. Threats upon threats. Evidently she is keeping her word so far and is keeping SD from FDH. So we shall see if he gets her tomorrow, which is his time.
I'm trying to not care as it's not my problem, but his. I honestly don't care if SD is there or not. It bothers me because it bothers him. He's not in a good mood and just mopes around. I can't tell him anything that will make him feel any better. After 3 years, all of this is getting annoying. It's a thorn in my side and I'm not sure how much longer I can take. I don't want to leave because I don't want to put our son in the same situation.
How do you ladies that have been in this for the long haul deal with all this crap?? It puts me in a slump...
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Comments
What does the custody
What does the custody agreement say? I take it there is no child support ordered now?
If she keeps him from her when it IS written that it's his time, she's in contempt. Make sure your FDH documents everything.
BM over here kept SD from DH for awhile because he would not jump when she said to. He missed his daughter but BM had to be shown that he would not be manipulated. He eventually took her to court for contempt (for that and something else).
It was not easy but I survived (SD is now 23) and so did my DH. He knew better than to procreate with the bitch but he did it anyway so he just had to deal.
And keep that voice mail.
And keep that voice mail.
He needs to go to court and
He needs to go to court and get it all in writing. He needs to push for 50/50 or he will never have any say and she will always run roughshod over him. If he doesn't want that, my recommendation is harsh - walk away and reach out when the child is 18. I couldn't do it, but if he doesn't want to fight for his child, then he should. Otherwise, she will play that child against him every time she wants and he can do nothing about it. The one that suffers is him and the child.
You do nothing, except support him. Disengage completely or it will drive you nuts. I don't say walk away from a child lightly, but if you are not willing to go toe to toe with BM, it is in the best interest of everyone. DH had to make that choice with SD18 and he has no relationship with her now because of BM's PAS. If he had to do it over again, he says he would do it the same way. Everything that happened is on BM.
In my case there's one way to
In my case there's one way to deal with it. Realize your tax refund is gone because he has to get a lawyer to fight for him in court on this one. It sucks that these BM use the kids as weapons, and we're the ones that have to do the clean up.