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Unaccompanied Minors....

frustratedinMA's picture

How many of you fly your skids this way for visitation???

I ask, because this will be our new way of life, now that the military is sending us far from the skids and our families.

I have looked it up, I see the age requirements are generally 5 to 14... sooo..

MIL was talking to the BM, and offered to fly the kids unaccompanied of course and BM said nope no way. She will not allow them to fly unaccompanied..

We are at a loss. Skids fall toward the high end of the age group.. and well.. its not an option for us for any other way. How do you get them to come around. My dh is now upset that he wont get to see his kids, the way he thought had been agreed to..

HELP

Comments

Anon2009's picture

We have flown each SD to visit MIL in Texas as an unaccompanied minor. SD15 is old enough to go on the flights by herself but we have her call us right when she gets to the airport. SD13 has flown there with a flight attendant (whom DH and I meet quickly before the plane leaves).

You should talk to your lawyer or a lawyer at your local base and tell them what's going on and ask for their advice.

ubrngoutdbitchnme's picture

SD14 and SS12 fly out to see their aunt and grandma. We don't have any issues with BM because she is not in the picture to have a say. If BM is being stubborn about not letting skids come out to visit you guys then you will have to take it to your lawyer. Maybe at the end someone will have to fly out and get skids and fly back out with them. It will be more pricier but that is the only way that maybe BM can not say no to.

CP

frustratedinMA's picture

Yeah, unfortunately funds are going to be really limited, and the amt we budget is going to have to cover any costs we incur to fly them.. so looks like they wont get to see their dad as much.. and he is NOT happy about that.

I will see if legal will help him out, or if he will need to hire a lawyer, which again, we can not afford. So aggravating.

frustratedinMA's picture

yes, this is true, but often they can get you a civilian lawyer that does the first hour free and a discount on the time thereafter.

BMJen's picture

Well, I can tell you first hand that the Court will uphold unaccompinied minor travel. I fought this myself. My son was 7 and my x lived in CO, us in GA. He wanted him to fly from here to Atlanta, two hour lay over. From there to Dallas, three hour layover, and onto CO. I was not happy. Didn't want to let him go. My attorney told me pretty quick to freaking bad, I better let him go or it will be withholding visitation.

I still don't like it and he's 14 now! But I never had him scared of it, I always told him how much fun it would be, etc. I bought him a whistle to hang around his neck and instructed him to blow like hell if he was scared of another person in any way. He never blew it......he's such a people kind of person (this is the main reason I was terrified).

Come to find out, the kids get tags they have to hang around their neck. You get them on the plane. The flight attendant has them sit up front so they can keep a eye on them. They escort them from gate to gate, if it's a layover they escort them into a private, secure holding room where they have all kinds of snacks, PS2's, etc. My son LOVED layovers! LOL!

I understand BM not being fond of it......but in the end it may be the only way the children get to see their dad. She's going to have to give on this one, and I know it from experience.

frustratedinMA's picture

These are direct flights only. The airline we were looking at will only allow unaccompanied on a direct flight. I wouldnt be comfortable w/a layover.. or even a stop.

Most Evil's picture

We did it for many years and never had any problem. But the airline required direct flights, which may have helped. I think you have to pay an additional $40-50 on each end, to cover the extra work for the flight attendants. She was never left alone for one minute.

But at least we got to see SD, without WWIII.

SD was very proud to do this 'on her own', and I have to say she is a very independent young lady in things like this. It will be ok, but I would just try to get direct flights - order way in advance if you have to.
_________________________________________________________
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The shamrocks that grow,
And may trouble avoid you
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Rags's picture

Though the price has gone up it would be cheap at twice the price. In my Skid's situation each party paid their half of the unaccompanied minor fee when the kid checked in at the airport.

Best regards,

Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications) To each according to their performance, screw Karl Marx. (Rags)

Rags's picture

Ummmmmmmmmm ...... it is not BMs choice. My SS has flown 3x per year for visitation since before he turned 2yo. He is now 17.

When he turned 5yo he started flying as an unaccompanied minor. The service costs (or used to) ~$50-$60 one way. Each party would pay the airfare and unaccompanied minor fee to get the kid to them. We never had a problem with it. Once he even got stuck in Chicago during a snow storm. He had the time of his life. They had a Kid Lounge that all of the visitation travel kids were put in to under adult supervision including licensed child care providers and armed police officers. Once a kid got dropped off they called their parents and the child care providers updated the parents and described the facility and the security (once a kid was checked in they could not leave until a airline rep (with several forms of ID) checked then out. The kids had to call every 4hrs to update the parents. The kids played video games or grab ass all night, pizza and other junk food was delivered frequently and the kid was absolutely whiped out when he got home a day and a half late. He had a blast and still talks about it ~7yrs later.

My wife had the same problem your SKids BM is having when our Son (my SS) reached the age he could fly unaccompanied. Until then a SpermClan representative would come pick him up. Usually one of my Wife's family members would agree to fly to get the kid and escort him back to SpermLand. They would usually visit us for a week or two then take the kid to SpermLand then another of my Wife's family members would bring the kid home to us and visit for a while. My wife went many times either to deliver him or pick him up and would visit her family.

BioDad nor either of the SpermGrandParents ever came to get the kid. If anyone from the SpermClan came it was usually a GreatGrandFather or BioDad's Sister's Husband's Mother. BioDad does not like to fly. IDIOT!

My wife balked at letting him fly unaccompanied until I put my foot down and insisted. We have never had a problem until SS became to old to fly unaccompanied (when they turn 15 most airlines will not let them fly under the unaccompanied minor program) and slept through a couple of layovers and missed flights.

Since BM is being a dipshit about this I would get an attorney and smack her ass around in court over it immediately. The longer you let her dick around with this the more control you give her.

Your DH should see his kids exactly on the visitation schedule whether BM has issues with them flying or not.

Just my thoughts of course.

Best regards,

Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications) To each according to their performance, screw Karl Marx. (Rags)

frustratedinMA's picture

Thanks Rags... I agree.. she should just let him have his visitation, and she is doing it as a control issue.. as she is losing all her control by us being sent away. she no longer can rule over our weekend vistiations being how SHE wants them.. rather than how HE wants them. This has been going on for YEARS.

I did read on one of the websites, that when the child is over the unaccompanied age, you can still pay the fee, but its not required after that age. That said, I wouldnt put them on anything OTHER THAN a direct flight. Just for my piece of mind.

They also are not 5. They are much older than that.. and as such, should be ok.. MIL is upset.. to say the least.

frustratedinMA's picture

I guess the problem for us is, if we spend the money on a lawyer to get her to comply, then we dont have the money to fly them down. So, damned if you do, and damned if you dont.. KWIM?

We can not afford both.. and I think she knows that.

Rags's picture

It may not take a full blown court hearing to nail BM to the wall on this. Buy the tickets and file an emergency enforcment order with the court if BM does not put the kids on the plane. CPS can got get the kids if BM plays bullshit games with this and you can stick her with any additional travel costs due to her manipulation.

When BM whines and cries DH needs to tell her "you fuck with my time with my kids and I will make your life a living hell ....... FOLLOW THE VISITATION SCHEDULE!!!!!"

I have zero tolerance for manipulative assholes and your Skids BM is being an asshole about this. She is endangering the Skids far more by driving them around in her car than by putting them on a plane.

Grrrrrr!

Good luck and best regards,

Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications) To each according to their performance, screw Karl Marx. (Rags)