Need some suggestions
So, my sd got her period for the first time. I want to be able to do something nice for her.. so she doesnt dread it and think her life is over as she knows it.. like I did..
What do you all suggest? I read online about books that will answer all her questions, so that she doesnt have to feel uncomfortable asking an adult.. there is also a book that famous women and some not so famous describe their first time they got theirs.. to kind of show it happens to everyone.. and a coworker here suggested a day out for the girls.. like a pedicure or something...
What do you guys think??
- frustratedinMA's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Does she have a mom? Her
Does she have a mom? Her mom should handle this. Not your call unless she has no active mom.
I think it's perfectly fine
I think it's perfectly fine to do if you have a good relationship with SD. And the girls day out thing is a great idea - it's a special time for a girl & I think that's nice of you to want to do something for her.
"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".
thank you.. I was really
thank you.. I was really taken back by the first one..
Umm.. so you are voting for a girls day out.. cool
I just want to make sure its something to make her feel special and that she can come to me when at our home if she has any problems or you know.. HELP.. KWIM?
She has a mom, she is the
She has a mom, she is the one that told me. I am saying I would like to do something nice for my sd... should I pretend that it hasnt happened and lead her to further believe its a dirty little secret that all women have to endure? Or as I would like to do, let her know she can come to me when she is with us if she should have a problem or needs when in our home?
You could do something lady
You could do something lady like, like go to a tearoom or something like that. Do you and BM get along? Would you be willing to include her so that the three of you could mark the occasion together?
"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".
umm.. I would include her,
umm.. I would include her, but they dont live close by, and she is normally busy w/her other 2 children.. I dont make the trips down to help get them, as my 10mth old isnt the best car buddy.. and we are talking 3 hrs roundtrip..
I was thinking something when she is up next.. that wouldnt be a whole day if we went out, so that her brother doesnt get jealous, and dh can watch the baby and ss at the same time...
Or maybe even get your nails
Or maybe even get your nails done and then go to lunch where you can talk to her and make sure she knows she can come to you with anything.
"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".
I do like that.. and I do
I do like that.. and I do need a Pedi myself!! lol.. That would work, and that would be about 2 1/2 hrs total.. not too long and not to short.. I am thinking I like the nail idea!!! Thanks!!
I think that if you two have
I think that if you two have a good relationship, then by all means do something together. Take her to a restaurant and/or out to a movie. I think that this will help her feel included and important when she's in your home.
Oh.. and BM hooked her up
Oh.. and BM hooked her up w/products.. so not that.
Ha! I thought about that but
Ha! I thought about that but there's really no way to make that pretty and fun
"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".
I think doing a big girl
I think doing a big girl thing like a pedi would be great. There is no reason that a step mom can't do special things with the skids to mark events. It is very thoughtful of you to think of that.
Thanks.. I just want her to
Thanks.. I just want her to feel like if there is a problem that she can come to me, and not have to avoid our house during those times.. She is very embarassed and doesnt want her dad knowing.. and BM asked if she could let me know, so that she has someone to go to, and sd said yes, but just her.. lol.. I of course have to tell dh, but will KILL him if he says anything, and I am sure he wont, he is after all, a guy. But it is after all his child... he should know.. but keep it to himself. I think BM also felt more comfortable talking to me about it.. since they havent been together in over 10 yrs.
I just remember how I felt the first time.. and I dont know how I would have felt if I had to go to my dad's and his wife's house.. I think I would have been freaked out and uncomfortable.. I know I didnt want to go to babysit on those weekends or go over to a friends for a sleep over.. I was PARANOID.. and from the sounds of it, this kid is NOT thrilled about this..
lol.. but then again, were any of us?!?????
I say its a perfect idea.
I say its a perfect idea. Its good that she knows you care and you show it.
I think its awesome you want to do this for her. 
I think she will love it! I know I would if I was her! 
LOL. Well I hope its all goes well.
I think it is really sweet
I think it is really sweet that you want to celebrate this with your Sd. I have to say too, that when I have been faced with this from my multiple nieces (huge family) and sd, that I take that opportunity to say, you do realize that this means you can carry a baby now, aka get pregnant? So you need to really take care and avoid being alone with young men, as it can happen very easily even the first time.
Not to scare them, but so they know - it can happen to them if they are not careful! since usually this event comes before they are emotionally ready for parenthood, sayin?
And also, a few million times when SD has not wanted to do anything because of being on hers, explaining that not all women (like BM claims to) have painful periods, that I have been fortunate to never have bad cramps or very rarely, that you can carry on and do all your normal activities. That if you don't do stuff when that happens, you will miss out on a lot!
To me these are common misconceptions I try to point out in advance. I like to know stuff, and make sure they know stuff too! Have fun on your special day!!!!!
_________________________________________________________
“Learn by practice.” - Martha Graham
Yes, just because my own mom
Yes, just because my own mom was I guess shy or something and never talked to any of us about any of this! so I had to just figure it out on my own.
So I tell them just so that someone tells them! I have to say for that reason I never saw it as being exclusively a biomom issue, more a woman issue.
And also to clarify, in case they have heard something weird, like every month you get to lay out of school for 2-3 days like BM was allowing - that is not the norm, lol
_________________________________________________________
“Learn by practice.” - Martha Graham
I think you are great! Its
I think you are great! Its nice of u to even think like that. I think it would be awesome. Anytime u can make them feel better or more welcome I think its awesome.
Life is what you make it.
hey there frustrated....long
hey there frustrated....long time no posts..ehh? Well I think that's a super cool idea..you need to take every moment available to bond with your sd. These special moments will be remembered even thru the hard times (yet to come)...
This may be a subject that some say leave to the bio, but really this is a woman issue, and it seems you have the upmost good intentions. I say go for it! Please tho keep in mind that periods bring out the absolute worst in teenage girls, so tread lightly and allow her to discuss the topics she wants to.. I know that I had Many times in which I wanted to have special time with my sd, but never quite turned out the way I had intended...just something to think about..
Been a long time girly! I hope everything else is going well for you!
Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!
Hey chickie!! Yeah, she
Hey chickie!!
Yeah, she should be done by the time she comes up this weekend.. so hopefully the mood swings are long gone!! lol.. I dont plan on really talking about it directly, but just letting her know that if she runs into any problems when up w/us, she has someone to turn to, thats BTDT! lol.. I remember how miserable I was when getting it and how embarassed.. so its going to be more of relaxing and doing the grown up girl thing (might as well get that perk now that she has grown up girl issues!! lol) and then just saying, hey, I am here to help...
Not going to go into a tutorial or anything.. lol.. and might even get her a purse sized calander that she can keep track in for herself so there are never any surprises!! lol.. I remember those as being the WORST!
Currently, mom is going to watch my baby, sd and I will be getting pedicures then heading to lunch.. I was thinking Bertucci's, then getting the baby and heading home. DH is going to watch a movie w/SS and make lunch at home w/him. Originally he wanted to take him out to lunch and do all this stuff.. and I asked.. how does this make it special for SD if SS is getting the same thing, but doesnt have the "curse" to worry about? lol He realized then what he was doing and that they could have quality time at home for nothing, esp since I am having my mom watch the baby.
Frustrated, you rock! What a
Frustrated, you rock! What a thoughtful thing to want to do something special for your SD. I only wish my SD would have been as receptive to doing stuff with me. She always claimed to want to go shopping, go get our nails done, etc., but then she either wanted to drag her entourage of friends (read: they need a car & driver) or she just bailed at the last minute.