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MA Probate

frustratedinMA's picture

I just contacted the MA probate court to ask a question regarding the NCP obligations for bedrooms.

I was informed that my dh is under no obligation to provide seperate bedrooms for his kids of the opposite sex, since they are there less than 30% of the year.. 24 nights, 48 days.. that is 7% if you go by the sleep overs and 14% if you go by the days at the house.

Why was I asking this question??? we have been trying to have a baby.. and still are.. While at the skids home over the weekend we noticed the 1/2 sister who is a toddler, had a black eye. This after hearing how about a month to a month and a half ago, this same toddler had to have stitches. The first incident I didnt think a whole heck of a lot about.. I thought, perhaps she can be clumsy.. then when I saw the black eye (that I had been told was swollen shut when it first happened) I decided that no child of mine will be sharing a room w/my skids. I honestly think that they are too rough w/her.

We have a 3 bedroom house. What I am going to propose to my dh is that we keep our room, we have a nursery for the baby, and the skids can share the 3rd room. We can change the paint to a mutually agreed upon color, throw a partition in there if need be, and have the skids pick out new bedding to "ease" the process.

This after my MIL suggested I buy a bigger home, as if money grows on trees. My neighbor who has 4 boys, 1 w/an ex bf and 3 w/her dh.. She said that for a while she had the 3 boys in 1 room and the 1 boy from the ex bf in a room by themselves, that the father had custody and the room went largely unused. She said one day she woke up and wondered, why she hadnt made the change sooner, she put the older of her 3 in the other's unused room, and kept the 2 smaller ones in a room together. She suggested that I put ss9 & sd 9 in the same room when they sleep over. After all, they sleep over 24 nights a year.

What do you all think?


Chel Bell's picture

Thats just what I did w/ we still lived in FL, we gave the "big room " to skids, the baby had his room, and we had ours. It worked out for the best, as when you add it all up, it's not much time at your house, and a baby should have a room of his /her own. ~"Resist all the urges.... that make you want to go out and kill." ~ Chel.

ColorMeGone2's picture

Divorced kids should not expect to have two of everything, especially at the expense of kids with intact families who can't afford to give them one of anything.

♥ Georgia, the un-stepmom ♥

"Good men don't just happen. They have to be created by us women." (from ROSEANNE)

frustratedinMA's picture

That is a great way of looking at it.

I have to figure out how to approach my dh on this issue. Again, if it wasnt for the toddler at their home, that I know they are unnecessarily rough with, w/her stitches a month ago and her black eye now.. I might not be questioning it as much.

I just need to know that I am not being selfish or "evil".. though I have a feeling no matter what I do, I will always be considered evil.