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BM is Being Nice (and my spidey sense is tingling)

fractioned's picture

So, the news that DH and I are expecting is spreading, SS9 seems excited about it, and now BM is starting to be really nice lately.

I'm glad she's being positive in regards to SS9 becoming a big brother - though it's still early on, and my expectations are low, I have been pleasantly surprised.

Here's where it gets a little creepy...

BM doesn't really talk to me much - since there's no sports activities for SS9 right now I don't see her except for pickup/dropoff time. We are cordial, small talk is exchanged and that's it. She does, however, speak to DH regularly in regards to SS9 (mostly). When pickups/dropoffs are at BM's house instead of ours, they tend to chat longer. So, BM has been suuuuuper excited the last few times they've talked! DH reports:

1: She asked to come over to play with the baby after he/she arrives (uh, no?)
2: She told DH she wants to poke my bump because it's "just so cute" (uh, HELL no?)
3: DH has a band gig during our visitation time, and she offered to come sit with SS9 and take him home so we could stay out late (you know, instead of just showing up like she usually does)
4: She let SS9 pick out a stuffie for the new baby while on thanksgiving vacation (ok, that's genuinely nice)
5: She offered to take SS9 out to buy xmas presents for DH and I since we have him for xmas morning this year and are doing Santa. This is a departure from the past two years, where Santa has known that SS9 has two houses and shown up to both. Why does this need to change? Only BM knows.

Huh.

This is the same woman who in the past year:

1: Bullied me on a regular basis - the kind of mean-girl bullcrap that men don't notice so DH was clueless about it
2: Threw multiple hissyfits over DH and I attending SS9's baseball games (one actually at the game)
3: While attending our wedding, insulted my dress, my family, and DH's family, tried to snoop in our bedroom, regaled my family and high school friends the fascinating story of the time she walked in on us having sex (because she didn't bother to call first before dropping by), offered to share her "Mrs. DHlastname" business cards with me (LOL), was completely shitfaced and stayed well after most of the guests had left.
4: Said who-knows-what to SS9 after hearing him have a conversation she didn't like with another kid (the kid asked him if I was his mom - BM and I were both right there - SS9 said "well, sorta but..." and then they talked about something else. Since that day, SS9 no longer says he loves me (but he still smiles when I tell him I do).

That's not all, but I'm getting long-winded here.

Meanwhile, she hasn't said boo to me besides "hi, how you doing" for months. No mention of my pregnancy, no questions, none of the above, nothing. The spidey senses begin to tingle. What the everloving F?

I express my discomfort to DH and he's immediately got excuses for all of it. "She's just trying to be nice" or "she's nervous and afraid to approach you" kind of thing. Come ON. I know DH has spoken to her about some of her behavior - she knows I'm not happy with her. But really?

I'd like to be more friendly with her, but this seems more like a song-and-dance for DH and whoever else is watching than anything else.

If she truly wants to be nice, she could try a simple apology and then leave. us. the. eff. ALONE.

Comments

kathc's picture

Wait, I'm sorry, you lost me after she attended your wedding!!! HOW the F did that happen?

Well...when they suddenly get nice there is usually a crazy storm brewing...but at least you've got a little break! Wink

fractioned's picture

DH and I attended her wedding (to the dude she left my DH for!) because we wanted to help SS9 feel okay with it. We showed up with smiles on, acted positively, congratulated BM and her beau, and then graciously left before the party got too wild.

We invited her with the same intentions... totally backfired. Her husband even left her there and didn't come back till around midnight to pick her up!

3LittleDragonflies's picture

Crazy got REALLY friendly toward the end of my pregnancy with BD2... so friendly that she showed up in my hospital room 2 hours after I gave birth THEN 2 monthes later woke up to her IN MY BEDROOM because she was "dropping off hand me downs"

fractioned's picture

:jawdrop: YIKES!

fractioned's picture

Thanks! Smile

I dunno what she really wants out of this. I suspect she either wants to make herself look good (always a priority for her) or gain some attention out of all of it.

I'm pissed at DH because it never really has sunk in how nasty she's been to me, and he always lets everything go. I just knew she'd be inappropriate at the wedding, and he refused to help with damage control (her parents were there, they could have been asked to get her out when it became needed, but that's not something I could have brought up with them). Now he's just sticking his head in the sand again, and I just have to live with it. Because, you know, I totally knew what I was getting in to.

fractioned's picture

Yup! She does this all the time, and it just never registers... and because DH doesn't notice, it's completely unimportant.

QueenBeau's picture

BM better not pull any of that with me. She knows she isn't welcome around my children. Ever.