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santa claus

fml1's picture

It really bothers me when people go out of their way to tell their kids the "truth " about Santa because they are too old. My DD9 probably does not still believe but in my home if you don't believe you don't receive. There is such a magic and good things to come out of something so small as believing.

Trust me SANTA LIVES.

He lives on in my life... because my parents did it for us, and I do it for my kids. I worked hard to explain that Santa was REAL as well as a concept...Santa is the belief that there is good in the world.  That people can do nice things for other people without the expectation of something in return. 

 Santa is marvellous.  Santa is magical.  Santa is hope.  Santa is a miracle waiting to happen.We have the whole myth / story going at our house... but at the same time, as the kids are getting older we are not going to just sit them down and point blank tell them there was NO Santa... that it was all a made up lie (how cruel, I'd be upset as a kid too... and wonder what else my Parents were lying about).

We said that SANTA LIVES cause he lives in each of us...And then we got them involved in the spirit of giving without reservation... the reward being in the act of giving / doing, and expecting nothing in return THAT IS VERY POWERFULAnd if you are religious EASILY ties into the True Message of Christmas... with God & Baby Jesus Somethings you cannot see... you just know them to be true, and that they are done for the right reasons.

Comments

overworkedmom's picture

Santa still comes to MY parents house. There is not a present under the tree until Christmas morning. My brother and sister (don't have families yet) still go over and they all wear matching PJ's and stay the night and have Christmas like kids- they are 22 and 25! LOL. They all have fun with it- there is usually mulled wine involved now Wink

I hope that my kids do the same until they have children of their own Blum 3

PeanutandSons's picture

And that's your opinion. Everyone can run their own home as they see fit.

I do the Santa thing.....begrudgingly. I honestly did debate not doing Santa for my bios at all. But cultural convention got the better of me and we do the Santa thing. But honestly, I won't keep it going a moment longer than necessary. I do see it as lying to my kids, I think it send the entirely wrong message (make a giant list of toys and some man will bring it for you). There's plenty of wonder and excitement in the real word that I don't feel that the invention of a fictional character is necessary.

My skids still believe, its not my place to tell them otherwise. But as soon as bs4 questions the validity of Santa, I will be coming clean.

fml1's picture

I just think people focus on the wrong points of Santa. There is so much more than presents. Its really a chance to teach something more. Especially when relating to the real St. Nikolaus.

Willow2010's picture

I have noticed that it really bothers some SM's that skid believe in Santa. I do NOT think it is their place to let skid know the truth.

PeanutandSons's picture

I agree, it is not a step parents place to say anything. But it is annoying and bothersome to be roped into the charade when you personally don't think its right to continue. My answer to my skids when they ask if I believe in Santa is " I believe in the things that Santa and Christmas represent. Joy, peace, and the spirit of giving to other." They were free to take from that what they wanted. I now have 10 and 12 year old skids who still believe in Santa Claus, the easter bunny and the tooth fairy.

The agitation isn't about Santa, so much as once again being roped into a parenting scenario that you neither were consulted on nor agree with. I am as a whole against lying to kids, period. When bs4 asks about mickey mouse or batman I tell him straight up that they aren't real.....so yeah it irks me that I have to play the whole Santa game....cause honestly had the skids not been involvedvid never have started the myth with bs4. I'd have told bs4 from the start that Santa is make believe.

overworkedmom's picture

I think it has so much less to do with "truth" and just about being excited to be with the whole family and be silly and loving and just spending time together. In my family the focus is less on presents and more on being together. It amazes me every year that we squeeze as many people as we do into our house and on our couches and there is very little arguing or bickering. It is the one day of the year that we smile all day. If santa is a part of that, and helps keep that magic going, so be it!

fml1's picture

Someone who doesn't read a post and turn it around lol thank you you get the ultimate point.

Drac0's picture

>In my family the focus is less on presents and more on being together. It amazes me every year that we squeeze as many people as we do into our house and on our couches and there is very little arguing or bickering. <

Did you by any chance watch "Talking Bad"? The host of the show (Chris Hardwick) ended the show by saying something similar. His father passed away just the day before and he contemplated whether or not to host the show but he did so because he wanted to get the message out.

"The holidays are coming up, and they can be a pain in the ass. But your family is important, and you should take the time to appreciate them between all the crap and the traveling.

overworkedmom's picture

I didn't see it but totally agree. My family is a pain in the ass. DH's family is too. I have pretty much written off my family at this point but now that the holiday's are fast approaching I can't imagine it without them. I really wanted to, but I can't... I love them- imperfections and all. Because no matter what, at least for Christmas, we will fake it til we make it.

zerostepdrama's picture

My BS turned 8 in July and this is the first year that he doesn't believe in Santa.

He asked me about it and I told him to believe if he wanted to believe. And he just said that he wanted the truth so I told him.

Honestly I am relieved. I could never provide all the stuff that "Santa" brought the other kids (or his own cousin) every year and that stressed me out. Now he knows its ME that pays for it. We sat down and I told him to pick a few gifts within X price range and I will try to get those gifts for him, for being so good this past year.

I have much more enjoyed this. He is really thinking about what he really wants and thinking about cost.

Drac0's picture

My FIL used to call SS around December pretending to be Santa. FIL is reviving this tradition with my two bios. Therein lies the heart of what Christmas means; tradition. My family traditions and DW's family traditions are vastly different, but we both take great pains to have all our kids experience them both.

fml1's picture

Miss Kay 2 it was not directly at you. I have a bunch of Scrooge's apparently that I know including one friend who ruined it for her five year old. I just get tired of the materialistic point of view and I don't understand how it has turned this way. It seems like a huge opportunity missed to not teach children the true story and give them a chance to pay it forward. It has nothing to do with actual presents.

Just J's picture

When my DD was 7 she asked if the tooth fairy was real or if her daddy and I gave her the money. DH, without consulting me (and without thinking) told her yes, we left the money under her pillow, there's no tooth fairy. A few weeks after that she figured out Santa was us too. She was slightly disappointed but got over it quickly. She is now 10 and my DS is 5 and she agreed to pretend for him, although it hasn't really been a big thing for him. We could probably not even bring Santa up and it would be no big deal. I'm not one for trips to the mall to see him and my DS hasn't been into all of the Christmas shows that play every year (he'd rather watch Nick Jr.). He said something about Santa a couple weeks ago but I have a feeling it is something we'll let go in the next year or so.

My step kids were 7 and 11 when I met them and neither of them believed in Santa at the time. But after all these years, "Santa" still fills all the kids' stockings because it's just a tradition and I enjoy it. For the older kids it has transitioned from toys and candy to candy and things they need like razors, lotion, toothbrushes, etc and I imagine I will do the same for my little ones as they get older.

I've always just tried to make Christmas about family. We're not religious and don't go to church and I don't do the whole nativity thing but I do make sure my kids know it's about giving and hanging out with our big, crazy family. And a few presents Smile

purpledaisies's picture

To me its more then rather Santa us real or not. My kids and skids all know Santa is not real but the humor me. Lol

It's more of being good to each other and giving and the magic of what he represents. Plus its all in fun. I tell my kids and step kids that when they stop believing they stop getting a gift with a wink.

We all just get together and have fun. It's not about telling the truth or lying its about togetherness and everyone being nice to each other. I mean even my skids will play along just do ill be happy. That in ky opinion is the best gift.

ThirdsACharm's picture

My SD's BM never encouraged the Santa thing...she liked to tell them when she was going shopping for presents and wants all the credit for the gifts. Grow up! It sucks because for kids 10 and under, we play up Santa big time. She sucks.