SKID weekend...lord give me strength...
SD16 is here...she only comes to our house when she wants to now, which works out to about once a month. Good for me because I can only handle her that long. Sometimes we don't know until the week of if she's coming or not because DH allows her to change her mind right up till the day we expect her.
I knew this was the weekend because DH always gets pissy the days leading up to her visit. We always have a fight about something stupid a day or two before her arrival and then I get to spend the weekend being mad at him and resenting her lazy, disrespectful ass.
This pre-visit fight was about feelings. Apparently I have been 'over sensitive' lately. Perhaps that is true but there are reasons for that. I am working 4 part time jobs and going to school at night. He is off work right now waiting for wrist surgery. I am completely overwhelmed and sleep deprived. My 'over sensitive' ass snapped on him Thursday night when I got home from my 16 hour work/school day and he didn't salt the driveway. I didn't even expect him to shovel, just salt it so I wouldn't slip in the dark. I do 90% of the housework on top of everything else and know that will soon be 100% when he has his surgery next week. He of course got defensive, told me he was waiting for the snow to stop (even though it stopped almost 4 hours earlier). After a screaming match he asked if I had anything else bothering me...I said yes...his daughter...
SD16 is expected to clean up after herself when she's here and assist with basic upkeep. (Helping with dishes, putting her laundry in the basket and not leaving a trail of crap everywhere she goes.) He told her months ago that since I was working so hard, he and SD16 will do a little more on the weekends to help me out when I'm doing homework. Due to numerous behaviour issues, SD has few privileges here. By doing a little extra to help, she will earn them back.
DH has not enforced ANY of it. Even picking up after herself. So when I snapped on him, I told him that I didn't appreciate that SD16 was allowed to sit on her ass after a 50 work week, plus school, plus homework, I had to do ANY housework. He had nothing to say because I was right. He eventually agreed and said SD would help him with several chores on Saturday morning.
This weekend is the anniversary of my mom's death. (hence some of my oversensitivity) I don't ask for much. But a hug of acknowledgement from DH would have been nice. Even the family I clean for gave me flowers.
I told him I was planned on getting some homework done before heading to the cemetery on Saturday. I came downstairs, obviously unexpectedly, to DH racing around cleaning. He didn't see me for a couple of seconds. I asked, 'what are you doing?' I startled him and he looked at me like a deer in headlights. Then I got it. He was going to do ALL the cleaning while I was distracted and then tell me SD helped. I just shook my head in disgust. I suppose I should be thankful that it was done. I left without saying goodbye.
When I got home SD asks where I was...I told her at the cemetery. Her response? 'Did you have fun?'
Just. Shut. Up.