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Passive Aggressive Much?

fedupstep's picture

DH and SD16 are upset with me.

SD16 has new boyfriend. He is 21. And I am the only one that seems to see a problem with that. BM, SD's stepfather and DH are fine with it. She can be 'trusted' with him. Sure...this is the same girl that has been caught with the last 2 boyfriends balls deep in her unprotected. The same girl that has to be reminded to shower. The same girl that will send nude pictures of herself to anyone with a pulse.

Chester the Molester and SD16 met through some mutual friends. I asked her how they have mutual friends. He hangs around high school kids because he 'relates' to them better. His last girlfriend was 14 and killed herself. No red flags!

SD16 asked DH to meet Chester yesterday when he went to pick her up. When they got home I asked him about it. He said he 'seems like a good kid'. You mean MAN DH? Did you ask him out for a beer to discuss the future statutory rape of your daughter?

While I have always kept a far distance from the MANY boyfriends that SD16 has had, this one creeps the hell out of me. I know she is doing this to gain status at school. He is doing it for the obvious reasons.

So I voiced my concerns and now I'm in the shit books. SD16 was upset that I didn't embrace this insanity. DH was upset simply because I didn't agree with him. So now I'm living in Passive Aggressive Land this weekend.

It's only 1:15pm on Saturday and here's my list so far:

DH feverishly cleaning the house at 9am while SD16 was still in bed. I ask him why since I didn't know he even knew where the vacuum was. "Well, someone has to do housework" is his reply. I should mention that I am not home during the week anywhere between 12 and 15 hours a day while he is in school only 4 hours a day. So yes DH, that someone should be YOU.

SD16 has offered to make us dinner tonight! I told her that would be nice. She replies, 'I figured I should so dad doesn't have to do ALL the cooking this weekend.' Oh yes, SD16, your dad is FOTY when you are here...and is the only time he 'cooks' (ei. spaghetti)

All three of us are in the livingroom. DH tells SD16 to make herself some mac and cheese for lunch. 'Would you like me to make you some as well DDDDDAAAADDDDDYYYYYY?' 'Thank you SD16! That would be nice' No offer to me. I just smiled and shook my head.
When she came in the room with 2 bowls, I said, 'looks good! I'll get some too'. SD16 tells me there is no more. DH is annoyed with ME and hands me the bowl, 'I guess you can have mine.' No thank you DH, SD16 obviously didn't make that for me. DH finally is forced to say, 'the next time you are sweet enough to offer to make lunch, please make sure you make enough for all of us. Is that ok sweetheart?'

I hope they choke on it.

Comments

Pokeyketchum's picture

Isn't it YOUR macaroni and cheese since he is not working? That you are sweet enough to work for, shop for, and haul into the house and put into the pantry?

Isn't everything there yours or because of you? Tell them to hit the bricks and go to Chester's house for dinner.

This makes me so mad for you.

Maxwell09's picture

^^^this. Might want to get the unforgettable version like the implant, shot or insert. If she can't remember to shower then she'll definitely forget to take the pills.

Disneyfan's picture

How sweet. Your husband is ready to be a grandpa so he has happily pimped his daughter to Chester the Molester.

Look on the bright side. The baby won't starve. SD sounds like a pro at making fake mac and cheese. How they eat that boxed stuff?? :sick: If can't touch mac and cheese if isn't made from scratch and baked.

robin333's picture

I would have major problems with a 16 year old girl dating a 21 year old man. Wtf is wrong with her parents?!

I hope she is on birth control, like the implant or injection kind so she can not "forget". Go ahead and let your DH know that no grandchild will be living with you.

As far as the mac and cheese, once I recovered from the shock of total rudeness, I would have thrown a psycho bitch fit or went out to the most expensive restaurant and gotten my favorite take out and eaten it in front of those ill mannered idiots.

fedupstep's picture

She is on the pill, so she might as well not be on anything. It's up to her to remember to take it. And I have already told DH that no grandchild will be living here. Had that conversation when she was 14.

notsurehowtodeal's picture

You are right, in most states, if they have sex, Chester can be charged with statutory rape. Even if she is above the age of consent, many states will still charge if the age difference is larger than a certain number of years, often four.

There is no way that this ends well. Sorry you are the only sane one in the equation.

evilicious says I quit steppin's picture

My SD was dating a 21 year old last year. Claimed they met at a friends house. Nope. Internet dating site. They're shacked up together now, but he has a lech for 13 year old girls and evidently she is okay with that. This is why she is persona non grata at our home.

hereiam's picture

Is that ok sweetheart?

Nothing about any of this is ok.

What in the hell is wrong with these people that they are all ok with this girl dating a 21 year old? Are you the only one living in reality?

My SD is dating a guy that DH and I do not approve of but she is 23 so there is not much we can do. However, you will not find us making small talk with him, he is not even welcome in our home (although this has not actually been brought up to SD yet). We want nothing to do with him and wish that SD would stay away from him and have told her so.

What do you think your DH is going to do if she gets pregnant, since you told him no grandchild will live there?

loveandfitness's picture

"Is that okay sweetheart?"!? WTF. DH should've told the minute she offered that it's RUDE not to offer for everyone in the room before she even began cooking.
Also, at 21 theres obviously a reason he can't find anyone his own age to hangout with and date. He's either a creeper/predator (obviously, given his background) and/or mentally challenged in some way... That's be a BIG FAT NO from me and o'd protest the entire time. I guess since she's given permission from bios you can't claim it's illegal?

fedupstep's picture

Here's what I know...
The Age of Consent in Canada

Young People, Sex and the Law

Canadian law says that the age of consent for sexual activity is 16 years old. (previously it was 14) This law protects young people from sexual exploitation.

By law, adults (18 or older) cannot have sexual relations with people under 16.

There are exceptions for people are in close age. Those exceptions make sure the law does not label consensual sexual activities between young people as criminal offences. It is not a criminal offence if:
•a young person aged 14-15 consents to sexual activity with someone less than 5 years older
•a young person aged 12 or 13 consents to sexual activity with someone less than 2 years older

These exceptions only apply if the older person is not in a position of authority or trust and there is no exploitation.

Important! By law, adults cannot have sexual relations with a person aged 16 or 17 if the adult is in a position of trust or authority over the young person. This would include coaches, teachers, and employers.

So TECHNICALLY he is not breaking the law...but I will never be ok with this.

The law also says that young people under 12 cannot give consent at all.