No respect from stepsons!
My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 yrs, My two SS one is 13 the other is 12. Their BiOmom passed away when they were 3-4yrs old, I just recently had my daughter she is only 2 months old I was told I could never have kids,so I am very protective over her. But the oldest SS is very disrespectful to me and his Dad he has called me a bitch and told his dad F you and he's got mental problems I believe and I just do not want him around my daughter basically before my daughter I have told the BF I wasn't happy and I couldn't do this any longer. I was brought up way different than he was. I have told him I wanted a change and so far nothing the oldest is a bully to his younger brother he is very very self centered. Everyday is about the oldest and if he don't get his way he will find a way to ruin everyone's day, I'm tired of it I feel that I do not have to do for these two kids just my daughter I despise the two SSons.My boyfriend is a pushover and I have told him the youngest is gonna manipulate he knows how to do it, and my boyfriend made a comment that I'm to hard or I treat the oldest different.I've told him I'm not going to always feel like I have to explain anything but when my boyfriend wants to leave he has no problems leaving them with me and I feel like it's no longer my place to have to deal with these two and I'm always getting compared to the bio mother even though she passed away 11years ago.The oldest SS has told me I wasn't a mother and I've always told them I'm not their mother they had one I've never told them to call me step mom or anything like that but I am tired of boyfriend comparing me and tired of him comparing his kids to other kids and saying his kids aren't that bad. I want out and raise my daughter by myself I know that will be best but he has made me feel guilty for thinking that way and I have tried to raise these kids I feel like I have done my best and that all I can do
- FedupinAL's blog
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First off you have a
First off you have a boyfriend problem and I would tell him that the reason do have issues with his kids is because he refuses to parent them. What person in Thier right mind is going to like or want to spend time with a kid who calls them a B.
Second, they are not your children, you are not the hired nanny. If he has to go somewhere he needs to take them with him or stay home. Since he disagrees with the way you parent and doesn't support you. Then he better be prepared to have them 24/7 so he can be Thier to parent them the "right way".
Third if he has an issue with any of the above, then you will start looking for your own place and he can raise his kids as he sees fit by himself.
Your BF is absolutely a
Your BF is absolutely a problem parent.
Love is not enough to sustain a relationship.
I don't know if breaking up is needed (I would have dumped his ass the moment a kid called me a bitch and his father didn't put the fear of God in him) but living separate is a good place to figure out what is best for both of you and your daughter. His kids really are his problem to deal with.
Get your ducks in a row
You wanted out long before your daughter was born. My advice is get your financials organized, make copies of everything. You wont get alimony, but you can file for child support. There is not a single reason I can think of for you to stay and continue being abused by both your partner and his toxic spawn.
Sometimes, love just isnt enough. You are modeling to your child. And she will base her life on what you are teaching her. So get your finances together - copy paperwork, and stash them with friends or family. Take your important things and stash them as well, slowly. If this is your home with your name on it, get a lawyer and research how to evict them legally. If not, then you have it much easier.
Try to get documentation of the abuse and go for fully custody.
Yes
I did remind him that I wanted out long before my daughter came along, I have told him I won't do this shit any longer and I wasn't happy.It seems every time we argue he has to make me feel guilty about everything that I may have said and done in the past which he's done an said hell of a lot worse, I own the land and the home is half mine and half his but I did buy his half,before my daughter was born he did mention finding another place for them three and I supported it,and now when I mentioned it I'm being accused of getting him attached to our daughter to hurt him, okay keep in mind when I had her my first baby his fifth he wasn't there for her birth because of the corona only one visitor so he decided to keep his youngest two at home away from his mother to prove a point but when I bring up he wasn't there for her birth it's like I'm so wrong for that. And I didn't find out I was pregnant until around 8 months and the oldest SS had the nerve one day after a doctor appt to ask me if the baby was dead I don't like the SS and don't want him holding my daughter because I'm not for his fake selfish actions and I have said that several times and I hav remade my self clear the issues that come from letting the SS go to grandmas house where they don't do nothing watch tv and she waits on em hand and foot and the oldest runs the house... I'm not like that and if any attitude that comes back with either kid is a result from being at grandmas but I have told the boyfriend to grow a pair mean what you say, say what you mean but to protect my daughter I guess I'm gonna have to get really mean and ugly I don't forget what they have said and it's built up pretty much... who's got bail money??
I hear you. Almost exactly
I hear you. Almost exactly the same situation for me. BM died, skids are similar ages and SO must be your SO's secret twin. Skids are literally untouchable because Mum died. Like they have some sort of holy aura round them and must never be told no, never be given any responsibility in case they fail (poor widdle babies), never be disappointed in any aspect of life. God forbid they're given any sort of reprimand, gentle or tough. I don't take any of their stupid nonsense, SO included- they want to delude themselves that Daddy can and will do everything for them for ever and ever? Go for it! My own daughter is top priority for me, with my own mental and physical health. Hope you find the strength to focus on yourself and the baby. Everyone else can take care of themselves. Skids want to be abusive? That's SO's issue to take care of. It's not your fault. Please look after the one who truly needs you and brings you joy.
Finally...
Finally someone who can totally relate, I told him years ago he's not the only one on this planet that this happened to and to get over himself yes it was a messed up situation because he found her dead beside him and he tried cpr an nothing. he can't change the past just move forward the best you can an make the most out of it but I'm never listened to...So quick update he is gone he packed up an left I got up an just asked a question he blew up at the way I asked it and said I was being a smart ass.... so it's whatever then went on to tell me he don't like me talking about his kids and that he tried to leave for four years okay that's all I needed to hear.I didn't make him come back didn't beg him either and then gets on the phone with his mom and tells her to be at the bus stop to pick them up and makes sure I hear him say his motherless children and then tells her he's leaving because his kids hate him? I mean what kind of crap is that ...but I'm always to blame so my only priority is my daughter she's not even 4 months old yet and as I see it he really don't care he wasn't there when she was born and anything that's major happened in my life he's never been there for like my dad passing away a few years ago he didn't even go to the funeral so I wasn't surprised when he wasn't there for the birth of his fifth kid but she's not gonna suffer because he's an idiot.I don't talk about his kids like he wants to portray.I just let him know they need help because something is going on mentally in their minds and it's just getting worse but yet he's has told his kids you go to grandmas that's where your permanently staying don't come back and he has cussed them called them names I never have ever done that but he can go my baby will not pay for the actions of other people tho at hurt him she's innocent and I am not going to stop doing for my daughter because she can't fend for herself they are fully capable of doing stuff their self so they better learn quickly on how to survive without someone to blame and whine and bitch too I'm done I don't have to listen to it and I refuse to. if his kids are screwed up later in life it's his fault because he wants to parent when he wants too He said enough to make me not want to hear or look at him ever again love isn't enough to hold this together anymore he hasn't even called to check on his daughter since he left so that tells me all I need to know