So tired of the  3 adult SS (24,21,20). Been together for 10 years (7 years married). DH is expert at parenting by guilt. 3 adult SS take full advantage. When they were teens they never had a set of chores and fought about who should clean up after their dogs (not my dogs). Expert manipulators. SSs have moved back in at separate times. Oldest SS makes over$25 an hour but DH didn't collect rent even after he promised me he would. I was going to save the rent fir the ungrateful SS and return it to him when he found an apartment to use as a down payment and first and last month rent. Of course this never happened because he never paid a dime of rent. Fast forward three months and he needed a lawyer so I lent him some money and he refused to pay me back saying it was a gift. I do not give $1500 gifts. He finally paid me back it took a year. But then he told me I was the most selfish person he met and told his father that he needed to divorce me. He sat in my kitchen and told me how horrible I was and that I was ruining his life and ruining his fathers life.He moved out that night but he told his friends that he was kicked out and he told his mother that he was kicked out as well but she knew different.

Fast forward six months and the youngest flunked out of boot camp and ended up living with us spending most of the day is playing video games. He got a dog against our wished. He asked if he could have one we said no because he doesn't even take care of the two that we have at our house which are still the same dogs that aren't mine. The dog has since destroyed my gardens and my deck furniture and SS hasn't so much as apologized or offered to make restitution. 
needless to say I have had enough. This is just a short description of a few things that of happened. I have nine years worth of stories I could tell you of how the kids have left the house a mess even after they promised they would clean it before they went to their mothers house. They have left a yard full of dog shit more than once. DH does nothing. 
His kids' happiness has come before mine AND at my financial and emotional expense for the last 10 years and I am sick of it. I'm not sure how to approach it with him.