Feeling hopeless about my marriage..
I'm starting to really lose hope in my marriage. DH has had issues with BM since before we got together. Funnily enough she cheated then left him for someone else. They have 3 kids. When I came on the scene everything was fine then then whatever happened between her an the new BF ended suddenly she wanted DH back (this was 7 years ago now). He didn't want her back and now we have been paying the price since.
I guess I am sick and tired of always having to be the lowest priority in order for him to keep his kids and his ex happy or she withholds visitation and child support help her do it. It's a joke the way it's run in Australia (probably most places to be fair) we pay an exorbitant amount of child support right now because she told child support we are no longer having visitation and they believed her. So my new BD and I go without to make ends meet while BM gets a ridiculous amount of money. I'm so over the merry go round. DH just whines about not seeing the kids and does nothing about the child support or her disgusting behaviour so the roller coaster continues.. I don't know if I can put up with it anymore.. I think things changed when my BD was born because now I feel like she is being put last and going without .. when it was just me I did it for the greater good but this is BS.. anyone else in the same boat?
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Welcome to the site!
You will find that quite a lot of members here feel that they come a poor second to the SKIDs and that their DHs seem to spend an inordinate amount of time trying to placate the BMs with money, attention or whatever it is they demand. You and your BD should not be suffering financially because of DH's CS. If you have not done so already, I'd advise you to separate finances for you and DH. Also, do not put up with being sidelined in favour of BM and the SKIDs - whatever you do - do not make yourself uncomfortable for the sake of making her comfortable. Does your DH know you are at the end of your tether? If not, maybe it's time for a come to Jesus meeting to let him know how you're feeling and what he intends to do differently. If nothing, maybe start quietly considering your exit plan.
Australia
Hello!
I'm glad you reaching out! Its helped me lots!
It sucks when biomom runs t the show! If you have no leave do M it!
People don't change! And if ya wit til 18??? You're a saint! I wouldn't put up with that. He can't have his cake and eat it too!
They are not your children. Take care of what's yours! And find yourself! Empower yourself!
Only you can make a difference in your life!
I am assuming based on your
I am assuming based on your timeline above the step kids are either teens or getting close to it. This is the time in their lives where it all gets muddled up anyway.
Has your husband tried taking her to court for not following the order? What is he afraid of happening? Does he think that he won't get to see them again if he does this? Does he really think that it would make it worse? You don't have to have a lawyer for family court. He should really take a stand in all the mess because BM won't change unless someone makes her and he can't make her.
So my new BD and I go without
So my new BD and I go without to make ends meet while BM gets a ridiculous amount of money.
Your daughter should not go without because BM gets a ridiculous amount of money. BM has NOTHING to do with you and I'd urge you to separate finances if you haven't already. There's no way your child should go without. Are you helping your H financially with the CS? I would recommend that you stop and focus on your daughter who is getting the shit end of the stick in all this.
DH just whines about not seeing the kids and does nothing about the child support or her disgusting behavior so the roller coaster continues.
Instead of your H playing the victim and the Oh Woes Me, he need to get it together, go to the CS office and make an attempt to fix this issue. Him complaining about it and not taking action will solve nothing. You need to figure out if you want to continue living this way.
You can do bad all by yourself. You and your daughter deserve better!