Cheese and Fans
Part two to yesterday's post where "Crap Hits the Fan". DH comes home with flowers as a peace offering from Saturday nights explosion. Looking sheepish "Gee Honey-don't know what I did wrong?? (UGHHHH)
Part one of Indulging Daddykins Make Over was to explode (That kind of worked) but I as I started to calm down-I started to think of some rational responses to the seemingly unconscious pampering of the teen man/child-so stay tuned as I go through the week.
DH started to notice Zippy16.5 does not say Thank-You-and starts to insist that when someone does something for Zippy that a thank you is in order (CAN YOU IMAGINE!!!!)-In response to Daddy's ridiculous request at this stage of the game, Zippy puts a dissaproving crumpled up sour look on his face.
Tonight is part two of the IDMO-"Awareness" of the situation....
And Vickmeister-the other Sunday miracle was that Daddy did NOT come home with Zippy's special cheese (my predictions are getting worse-a good thing!).
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Thank yous and knocking on the door-such huge things to expect!
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
Endore, you've put up with it longer than I have...and I reached the point of no return.
No thank yous? Zippy and SD17 belong together. How is it that now that these children are nearly grown, daddykins finally realize that thanks has been omitted from their vocabulary?
I am almost in a celebratory mood. SD17 is now refusing to come hee because I said she will knock when she shows up. Tho H mumbles that that's not too much to ask, he defends it with how strange it is for her to have to knock on the door of her fathers home. How "out there" odd it is. C'mon! She's of adult age in 1 month. She does not live here. WTF! He'll defend her behaviour no matter how ridiculous.
Ummm, it's also my home (in fact, it's my parents house). And my own son knocks before entering. Common courtsey.
In a couple of years Zippy will also be of adult age-legally. Your H and mine have stunted the maturity of these overindulged darlings to the point of ridiclousness (if such a word exists).
That is what I am afraid of
"The stunted maturity of these overindulged darlings to the point of ridiclousness"
Zippy16.5's first foray into the work world was to get fired from a job his Dad got him! It is like watching a train wreck-
DH sits there and says "Zippy is not out partying 24/7 like I was at his age so therefore Zippy is the perfect teen"! Yeah-Bubble Boy-indulged and over protected-the REAL world is going to chew this kid up and spit him out and DH will be heart broken-maybe that is the best outcome....
Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!
No you have to add my DH also
I came to the conclusion Sat. night that my DH is the biggest Jackass on earth! My bd came in from college this weekend and says "Mom what are you doing Sat"? I say We are going to mow the lawn cause it kindof looks like we have gone on vacation. Okay she says I'll help. So bd myself and dh mow the lawn it takes us 3 hrs....SD17 sits in the house watching TV doing nothing and DH rewards her by letting her go to the movies with her friends, But me and BD had a great weekend, I didn't let her know it made me mad...DH isn't going to make SD get a job this summer, she is the sheltered child!
Fight rules
Crayon I guess you cannot air any "dirty laundry" with the family of origin! Wonder why the double standard there?
Did you mention the comparison re telling Droopy (who cannot understand a complete sentence) about your adult issues?
I would ask the counselor about fair fighting and maybe the counselor can make some headway re BF's fight style.
As for "make up sex" after yelling in your face-wonder how receiving he would be if you berated him for an hour on all of his inadequacies re trying to make a go of things between yourselves and finding some kind of balance for the one kid who will see him! (If you can wait things out, Droopy will be out of the picture faster than you can say Jack Robinson due to PAS)-unless Girhippo comes to her senses and realizes she is shooting herself in the foot by alienating their children from him.
Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!
You are not allowed to
air your dirty laundry to his family or friends b/c he KNOWS that he is wrong. Telling a 6 year old your problems is his way of feeling like a hero, b/c daddy can do no wrong. A 6 yo cannot grasp the context of what his father is saying, he only knows that "Crayon is being mean to daddy".
However, when you bring your adult issue up to adults, they are able to understand what you are saying. They are able to form their own opinions and judgements. Do you honestly believe that your BF thinks he's blameless in all of this? He knows what he is doing and how he is behaving is wrong. Otherwise he would not be banning you from venting to your friends or family. He hates people seeing him for the bad guy that he knows he is.
When I vent about FH, I vent to HIS friends, and HIS family. They know him best, and love him. They also offer me insight to why he is the way he is. My friends listen, but they judge. They don't know or love him the way we do, so they're already biased to take my side. So venting to his friends and family helps me get it off my chest. It helps me understand thru their guidance why he did what he did. I learn how to handle him during arguments. They can intercede when I ask, and he won't hate them for it.
Also, what your BF is doing is verbally abusing you. The name calling, screaming, yelling, sometimes being physical. This is all abuse. Verbal, mental, emotional, physical abuse.
I wish DH realized that Blabb
has no manners whatsoever!!!!
He might be getting it soon but we'll see. He seems to think that it's adorable when he precious little 8 year old says to him, "Give me money NOW, da da!"
:barf:
Gawd, I hope
this is not what I have to look forward to with SD5. I've been telling FH for 2 1/2 years that it's not cute. I HATE when kids use the word DA DA. Unless you're 2 and under. I hate the lack of manners, lack of respect, the demands, the lack of discipline and boundaries. It was okay when he said "but she's only 3". It got harder at "she's only 4". Now, I hear "she's only 5". I'm sorry, but behavior that is cute at 1 or two, and tolerable at 3 is annoying at 5, almost six.
When the kids tell me I NEED to do or get them something, or TELL me when they're going to do something, I look at them for a few seconds and then ask "Are you ASKING me, or are you TELLING me? B/c if your asking me in that rude of a manner, the answer is no. If you're telling me what you're going to do, then you may go to your room." They snap to attention quick and correct themselves. FH has finally started to pick up on that, and use it himself.